em_123
Active Member
Sounds as though you and ziggy will be fab for her!
A couple of years ago I agreed to take on a shared with autistic problems. The dr has diagnosed her with asbergers but it's not official because she has what they call selective mutism and shuts down when being asked questions she feels uncomfortable with. So they can't actually give her a proper official diagnosis.
I've to the best of my ability treated her like normal whilst understanding there are days when the bare minimum is possible from her. In the early days she would shut down and some of it was more to do with her age and attitude than her own issues, but the situation would seem worse to her because of those issues which would cause the shut down.
Anyway fast forward nearly 3 years now and I've stuck with her and she with me and we've really turned a corner. She's about to leave school and has massively grown up, which has helped her cope better with her issues and she's able to start recognising that she needs to push her self a little more.
As she's grown up she's been given more reaponsibilty at the yard and it's been amazing for her confidence.
We've recently had a small influx of new people at the yard. 3 years ago this would have caused a meltdown and she would have really withdrawn.
But with the younger sharers they've been told she is in charge when I'm not around. She knows me my way of working and what I expect and they're to follow her lead. This has been great for her.
I've allowed for her bad days, but shown I won't let it become and excuse. I have been able to learn when it's her being a moody mare and when it's her having a bad day.
She now opens up to me too which is huge. This has all started happening gradually over the last 18 months but since Christmas especially. Last night she talked through her college things and worries with me. She's going to do horse care and needs a reference etc.
Whilst obviously it's very different to anorexia it's similar in that they want to feel normal. So treating her normal and just being there if they need to talk or want to. Don't overly encourage any talking about things but patiently listen if they start to open up.
M has been a massive learning curve for me and it hasn't been easy at times. Made harder by having to learn what was attitude and what was genuine lol! But I've always maintained that if she tries something for me I will never be cross if she just doesn't even try then she is best of turning round and going home.
This involved quite a few stand offs in the early days but within 6 months she figured out I was way more stubborn than she was lol!! She got sent home quite a lot in the early days. Now when she scowls at me I just scowl back and off she goes to do what I asked lol!
A couple of years ago I agreed to take on a shared with autistic problems. The dr has diagnosed her with asbergers but it's not official because she has what they call selective mutism and shuts down when being asked questions she feels uncomfortable with. So they can't actually give her a proper official diagnosis.
I've to the best of my ability treated her like normal whilst understanding there are days when the bare minimum is possible from her. In the early days she would shut down and some of it was more to do with her age and attitude than her own issues, but the situation would seem worse to her because of those issues which would cause the shut down.
Anyway fast forward nearly 3 years now and I've stuck with her and she with me and we've really turned a corner. She's about to leave school and has massively grown up, which has helped her cope better with her issues and she's able to start recognising that she needs to push her self a little more.
As she's grown up she's been given more reaponsibilty at the yard and it's been amazing for her confidence.
We've recently had a small influx of new people at the yard. 3 years ago this would have caused a meltdown and she would have really withdrawn.
But with the younger sharers they've been told she is in charge when I'm not around. She knows me my way of working and what I expect and they're to follow her lead. This has been great for her.
I've allowed for her bad days, but shown I won't let it become and excuse. I have been able to learn when it's her being a moody mare and when it's her having a bad day.
She now opens up to me too which is huge. This has all started happening gradually over the last 18 months but since Christmas especially. Last night she talked through her college things and worries with me. She's going to do horse care and needs a reference etc.
Whilst obviously it's very different to anorexia it's similar in that they want to feel normal. So treating her normal and just being there if they need to talk or want to. Don't overly encourage any talking about things but patiently listen if they start to open up.
M has been a massive learning curve for me and it hasn't been easy at times. Made harder by having to learn what was attitude and what was genuine lol! But I've always maintained that if she tries something for me I will never be cross if she just doesn't even try then she is best of turning round and going home.
This involved quite a few stand offs in the early days but within 6 months she figured out I was way more stubborn than she was lol!! She got sent home quite a lot in the early days. Now when she scowls at me I just scowl back and off she goes to do what I asked lol!
