Please help me decide what to do?

Eveadel

New Member
Nov 10, 2008
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South East Essex
Please help me decide what to do?Updated

I have been in floods of tears this morning and yet again didnt sleep at all very well last night. You may remember I have a nervy spooky pony. Ive owned him for 2 1/2 years.

I decided about 4 weeks ago to sell him as I didnt think Im doing him the justice he deserves. We have good days and bad days. When out hacking he has his eyes on stalks, coiled up last a spring and snorting like a pig. Today we was jumping about on the road and spooking over things I couldnt even see or hear. I get angry and frustrated more than scared which will result in me being tense and then he picks up on it!!! I really feel that Ive had enough but in the other breath I feel guilty for wanting to sell him.

He is a nervy pony in general, on ground as well as ridden. He is headshy and fussy with his feet for farrier.

There is a lady down my yard who has offered to buy him for £500 I know this is abit insulting but I know he will have a good home or shall I send him to for sale livery, hopefully get abit more money but not really have a say in his new home?

I really want an uncomplicated horse and not all the baggage that goes with it or is it better the devil you know than the devil you dont????

Please please help me decide or if you have been in the same position your experience.

24th November 2008

Well the lady I spoke about took him on Saturday. He was a little nervous to load but travelled great. He has settled in his new home although she does have quite abit of work going on around the house and stables so understandably a little on edge.

I feel relieved and very sad. I feel like my right arm has been cut off as I am now horseless!! Im very pleased that he has gone to such a great home though.
 
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first of all if you have the money, to buy another then personally the money wouldnt be important, if hes going to a fab home where you know he will be worked with etc, then personally i would say this is far more important than the money.

if he goes on sales livery that is going to cost you anyway.
 
Horses are not selling very well at the moment so "adding" value is nothing like as simple as it was a few months ago -- if you think lady will provide him a good home for life despite his problems, then I would accept the offer ... Peace of mind is priceless.
 
Personally I think selling him would be the right decision. You don't sound like you really enjoy him and you get frustrated easily with him.. that's not a critisism against you, it's been said many a time that my horse would test the patience of a saint! :eek: But you 2 just don't sound like a good combination, you know yourself that you wind each other up as you get angry with him and in turn he gets more on edge. If you're still questioning whether he's the horse for you after nearly 3 years then to be honest I would say he isn't.

My horse drives me crazy with his 'quirks' sometimes, just last night he decided to spin round and shoot off up the other end of the arena for no apparent reason, nearly sending me out the side door as he went :eek::rolleyes: But I wouldn't swap him for the world at the end of the day.

I know what it's like living with a nervous/spooky horse and no matter what people say about de-sensitising and calmers etc. at the end of the day it's their personality.. I always reckon if he were a human my horse would be that skinny, awkward looking bloke everyone has in their office who looks nervous and fidgets a lot :p If you can't get on with your horses personality then there's no shame in accepting you just don't "gel" and move on.

Who's to say he won't find a nice home? I think we always imagine our horses are best of with us but in all honestly there are plenty of homes out there that are just as good for them, if not better. Why not sell him privately yourself? Then you can take the time to find him a nice home without selling him for stupid money.
 
Oh you lot have me in tears again. Very wise and kind words.

I definetly think they we are not the best match made in heaven but Ive perserved and tried so much because I dont want to believe that we are not right for each other.

Im not sure whether the lady who has offered to buy him will give him a home for life but I do believe she will help him and will take him out locally competing and get some more experience under his belt. She is a kind and knowledgable woman.
 
You have done amazingly well to come this far. :)

If someone is willing to give him caring and it will give you peace of mind I think it would be a sensible decision to sell him to this woman.
 
Wow you have done well to have done 3 years, you must be amazing. I am in exactley the same place as you but after 3 months. (I know not long at allBut I just know I make him jumpy) If I knew of someone knowledgeable that would bring him on (which I can't do) I think I would def say yes. (my lad is a lovely boy and in the right hands will go far).
Good luck with your decision.;)
 
I think the lady down the road would be an excellent idea. Sometimes you just need to take stock and make a 'damage limitation' descision. Let's say you send him away on a sales livery at what? £120 per week? Horses are not selling, so say he's there for 2 maybe 3 months at a cost of £1440. Add shoes, wormer, vets bills if anything goes wrong etc. Thats going to amount to one hell of a price. If the horse is worth 12K, then go for it as the sale would be woth it. But if your horse is worth only 1.5 - 2K say, then it simply is not worth the financial strain, stress, sleepless nights of 'what if'.

I was in your shoes a couple of years ago and accepted a knock down price to a good home. The day the horse went down the drive off to it's new home, I literally felt the stress and strains leave my shoulders immediately. The relief was tremendous and instant. We can't all get on with every horse we meet, just as we can't all get on with every person we meet. Take this lady's offer, cut your losses and look forwards to a wonderful, happy and action packed future with your new horsey partner and soul mate!
 
i think selling him to this lady would be doing the right thing, really. At the moment it sounds like all you are both doing is making the other miserable, which isn't helping you or your pony. It may be that with a more confident rider, that he settles right down and becomes a much steadier pony. In the same way, if you can find yourself a less spooky, silly pony, you'll have a lot more fun and your own confidence will go sky-high.

CollieDawg is dead right- sales livery will cost you a fortune and won't add a lot of value to him. Cut your losses, take what you're being offered and look for a more suitable pony.
 
Hiya

If this lady is genuine and you think he will have a good home, then that is the most important thing.

I was offered silly money for my pony (£300) as apparently she was unrideable, although I never struggled. Turned out, the people who offered to buy her had plans to sell her on to someone else after. In the end I kept her and shes now a little superstar!

You know what is best for your pony :)
 
I think the lady down the road would be an excellent idea. Sometimes you just need to take stock and make a 'damage limitation' descision. Let's say you send him away on a sales livery at what? £120 per week? Horses are not selling, so say he's there for 2 maybe 3 months at a cost of £1440. Add shoes, wormer, vets bills if anything goes wrong etc. Thats going to amount to one hell of a price. If the horse is worth 12K, then go for it as the sale would be woth it. But if your horse is worth only 1.5 - 2K say, then it simply is not worth the financial strain, stress, sleepless nights of 'what if'.

I was in your shoes a couple of years ago and accepted a knock down price to a good home. The day the horse went down the drive off to it's new home, I literally felt the stress and strains leave my shoulders immediately. The relief was tremendous and instant. We can't all get on with every horse we meet, just as we can't all get on with every person we meet. Take this lady's offer, cut your losses and look forwards to a wonderful, happy and action packed future with your new horsey partner and soul mate!

Did you then find a horse which was more of your partner and soul mate??
 
I'm not the best person to advise on this as I am always questioning wheather to sell or keep my mare after a year and a half of owning her:eek:

However my mare isn't anything like your pony,she doesn't do anything bad I just don't have that bond with her that I so want with a horsey friend.
I have to be honest if I was having the constant battle you are having with your pony I would probably sell.It is supposed to be fun after all,and you don't sound like you are having much fun.

Not sure about the lady down the road scenario,depends on well you know and trust her to do all the things you *think* she will do with your pony.

You could always try advertising and see if you can find him a home yourself that you are happy with??

Good luck with whatever you decide:)
 
I would sell her to the lady down the road. Horses are about enjoying them and yourself. Why not have a break for a while and have some lessons to restore your confidence.

Well done for thinking about doing something about your situation.
 
The lady is someone I know very well and I do trust her :)

She has just bought a new home with acres and acres and it is in a rural area which I think would be much better for him aswell.

I still feel very nervous about it as I dont want to then become out of horses if you understand me. :)
 
Even if she doesnt keep him forever but brings him on so he and his future owner can actually have fun being together then I wouldnt have a prob with that, the key thing is that she is willing to put in the work.

I would jump at it and find yourself a happy partnership. I def wouldnt put on sales livery if you have this lady as an option.
 
The lady is someone I know very well and I do trust her :)

She has just bought a new home with acres and acres and it is in a rural area which I think would be much better for him aswell.

I still feel very nervous about it as I dont want to then become out of horses if you understand me. :)


Is there anyway you could set up an arrangement with this lady (if she is close to you) to either share the horse for a while, or to send the horse to her for a few months, and then have him back.

It may be that if you and her can work with the horse together, and she can work with YOU as well, and help you understand how to deal with the horse, then you may find that it will work. She might be willing to give him the experience (for a much lower cost than sales livery) and then you can sell him when the market increases.
You'd need to word the contract carefully, and discuss with her if she is willing, or to have a half share in him, work with you both and then buy you out of your share or something, but I know people who have done this, and infact, when someone else has taken the horse for a few weeks and reschooled them, the horse has come back as their "perfect" horse, and they are so relieved they didn't sell.
I obviously don't know you or your horse, so it may be that you've already tried this option. But just a thought.

You sound like you want to do the best by this horse, so I just wondered if this could work?
 
This lady sounds great. An offer with someone you know really has to be worth it, will save you beating yourself up selling for more to a stranger and feeling awful. Peace of mind has no price and will let you part with him.

I was seriously overhorsed with a sports horse for a total novice, bought on the advice of a former RI, I had a bad accident and stuck with him for 18 mths but I was miserable and never got my confidance back. He is loaned now to a girl I know and we moved to the same yard so I see him several times a day.

We were so badly matched, I had exhausted everything and even had so many lessons but he is classed as 'advanced' & very forward and I will never reach his level as a mature adult starting to ride. Love him to bits but he shattered my confidance and we were so wrong for each other.

He has a fab new mum, she adores him. They are competing in dressage, SJ and she hacks him and is jumping him 4 foot in the school. He is a handful but she understands him and they are so well matched. Both are very happy and although I was in tears to loan him at the start I am beyond happy now. She will be buying him next year and I'm happy to wait for her to have the money so he has the right home for life.

Since found a perfect first horse, found by my amazing new RI who was not on a secret commission like the first one! Blissful 6 months with my new lad, genuinely didn't think I could find one even half this good and he is way beyond all I'd ever hoped & dreamed for. The love, bond & trust we have in just 6 months is incredible and you will have that same connection and fun with the right horse. It is hard now but if you can deal with letting him go to a fab home you can move on to find 'the one'. I'm such a nervy rider and even I found my ned soul mate after a 5 month search!! I was in your position, and couldn't even eat or sleep. My only regret now is why I didn't do it sooner! Good luck honey with your decision, it will be better soon x
 
Thank you to everyone you have helped me decide that it will be in his best interest for him to go to this lady. I will miss him dearly. I hope I will not regret it :confused:
 
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