please talk me down to a calmer level

mystiquemalaika

mystiquemalaika

Well-Known Member
Jan 7, 2013
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Ok due to personal reasons my boss had to go on the sick 4 months ago and i was told to keep things running while she was away,bear in mind im a shop assistant and not a manager in any way shape or form. What was asked of me was to just do ordering and daily running which i didnt mind but i have had a whole heap of s**t dumped on me and i have neither the training or the support for it. I am constantly told ask for help which is all i do but nobody gets back to me or bothers their b*******s to help i then get snooty emails or calls saying this isnt done etc etc for example shop ranging,i was given a list of what we were getting no problem except when i requested more stock of something was told we arent ranged now this is somehow my fault!i am doing 3 people jobs,mine,the managers and the banking which a seperate member of staff used to be employed to do. I am constantly tired,cry every night and feel totally and utterly taken the p**s out of and degraded.my patience has gone completely and i can feel i am fit to burst,the other staff dont help,dont want to work this dont want to work that and cant do the simpliest of things which then put more crap on my lap as they havnt done their job right. I used to love work but now feel sick at the thought of it,my boss assures me she is going to sort everything out when she comes back but i hold no hope in that at all. I feel i am been ridiculous as all people keep saying is your lucky to have the opportunity but i didnt want it and only aggreed to the simple things i dont get payed for it,i have seen alot go on that i am not at all comfortable with and i feel different towards the place and the people now.before i either get taken away in a straight coat or worse can you lovely people please help me calm down. sorry for what is a boring post i just dont have anybody to talk to about it all.
 
And breathe.:hug Okay. First off; from what I read in your post you have been put into this situation and didn't ask for it right? Hmm. You say the staff don't want to work this and that - but, if you are acting on behalf of your absent boss then surely they should know that they ought to do as you ask? I think clear boundaries and clear instructions are needed here. What your boss or bosses boss needs to do is to come and have a meeting with you all and explain that until your immediate boss returns then you are doing your best to arrange things and that they need to co-operate and do the best they can under your instruction. If no proper training has been given to you to in order to deal with this arrangement then it is simply unfair of them to expect you to be able to cope at this level. It's all very well them delegating to you and giving you the "opportunity" to run the show, but if you aren't trained properly and are struggling they need to recognise this. I think calmness is required - I am glad that you have had a good rant and got it off your chest on here - it's better than nothing! But, I think that you ought to calmly request a meeting with a senior member of the organisation and take in a list of the points that you think need immediate attention. As things are going, you may well boil up and over and end up saying a whole load of stuff you regret - if they don't give you the opportunity to say things that you think are necessary in an organised and calm way.
I feel for you I really do. Pressure is not everybody's cup of tea! And going home being miserable and worrying is not nice - even worse when you aren't being recognised financially for it.
I am sure some other people on here will be able to offer up more advice. Try and stay calm.Txxx
 
and breathe :hug

If i were you i would speak to/email someone higher (do you work for a chain?) informing them that unless they increase your wage, and give you some sort of training then you will only do the job that you have been employed to do.

It sounds to me like they are taking advantage of your generous offer.

When is the boss due to come back?
 
Same as trewsers suggested but i would try and concentrate on one issuee at a time perhaps have certain days for certain tasks. Sometimes dealing with people who you have supervisory responsibilities for is tougher than dealing with awkward customers when this happens you have to get really tough, nobody likes doing it but people are people and sometimes require a lesson in how work structures operate. When i was first put in charge of a job a tried to do everything and ended up disappearing up my own ass, until i took the bull buy the horns and let people what i expected of them and yes had to threaten a couple with if you dont like my way of working well you can fine another site to work on. But you really do need your boss to inform the others than while he/she is off you are the boss. Dont be afraid to delegate it took me a while to get that.
 
Everything that has already been said. The firm you are working for are taking the pee big time. You are being used to fill a role on the cheap. They aren't prepared to invest money in training you adequately, nor are they prepared to offer you the going rate for the job to at least compensate financially for the extra burden and all the stress.

I would be asking in a polite, calm and firm way for some more support from your boss's boss, clear instructions to other staff that whilst you are filling the role they MUST help and support you in any decisions you make.

You said this was a boring post? Not a bit of it, stress at any level in our work or private life is always better aired, and I have always found this forum a very supportive and helpful place to safely let of steam from time to time!:redcarded:

I really feel for you, it sounds intolerable to say the least. I hope things are soon sorted out for you, nobody should come home from an honest days work feeling like you do.:hug
 
Hiya, thank you so much for reading all that and taking the time to reply.
I didn't ask for the role no,contrasna has hit the nail on the head I'm the cheap option and I wouldn't mind so much if people actually helped me and didn't treat me like an idiot when don't know what I'm doing.budgets,finance,phasing,kpis,intelligence reports,rops all these things I had never heard of but am expected to see and notice mistakes and discrepancies in,the reports are nightmares and as clear as mud but I have tried my hardest and the place hasn't burnt down and we have made all our targets but it never feels enough.
The staff know I am supposed to be in charge bit don't give a damn but my boss has let them get away with murder as I've always been the one she can rely on and now when they need to step up they don't and can't basically. I rang the general.manager today which is another thing that annoys me,nobody talks its all god damn emails well I'm sorry but people need to talk sometimes I cannot for theofe of me word some of the things I need to find out in an email I need a person not a screen.I told him I wanted the line manager title removed from my email as that doesn't help people treating me like a fool when they think I'm a manager,I didn't even know I was that on the email until someone pointed it out to me I also told him I needed help and did not have the time nor the knowledge to sort out some of the issues that have ended up on my lap,he wasn't unhelpful but he just says oh it's ok you'll work it out and we will help but that's been said time and time again and they don't.I explained I was no longer happy and no job should make a person feel this way and that I would only be doing the ordering and general day to day running.he said he would get back to me and that was it so god only knows bit I really am grateful to you all for replying and it has made me feel better and not alone,you guys really are amazing xx
 
This is a dreadful situation for you, and I think the advice people have given you is all pretty sound. I can't add much, I've never worked in a retail environment, but I think you should keep pestering that general manager guy, the one who promises help, and make him keep his promises. Just keep ringing him up every time you're faced with something that you haven't been trained for, and ask him to help.

And yes, keep calm and breathe. :wink:
 
Some really excellent advice on here, so sorry you are having to deal with this, not fun.:hug

PH's suggestion is a good one and works for me, if I am feeling overwhelmed with tons of stuff to get done, I try to take 5 minutes, write it all down in priority order and then try to accomplish one thing. Just one. Then get feeling that at least I have achieved something, rather than feeling completely out of control.

Please take care and keep trying to get the support and training needed.
 
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