QOD 22/01/2013 - Relationships Day!

Flipo's Mum

Flipo's Mum

Heavy owner of a Heavy
Aug 17, 2009
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Perthshire, Scotland
Right, Inspired by EBs dating blog, lets have an all things 'other half' day!

What's the longest time you've been single for?
Do you think everyone should be part of a couple or are some folk better off alone?
Is marriage necessary/ an outdated tradition/ not taken seriously enough?

How long was/ is your longest relationship?

And why did you break up with your last oh?

Yep, I'm full of questions today, snow day, I'm bored!!
 
Met Mr Domane number one when I was 14, engaged at 16 although we didn't actually marry until I was 21 because I had a few wibbles in my teens. Realised at 34 I had fallen completely out of love with him so decided to part.

Moved in with a friend from work as her lodger as her and her husband were splitting up and they needed the rent as they were trying to sell their house which was financially crippling them. Her husband was Dom and six weeks later we got it together :redface:

But the way I feel for Dom, I never felt for my first husband so I now realise that yes, they were all right, I WAS "too young to know what real love is" and shouldn't have married the first fella who asked! BUT I did get my three lovely children so I can't really complain....

I don't think marriage is outdated but I DO believe that people shouldn't be allowed to marry until they have been together for at least 18 months. There is scientific evidence that humans do go through a form of honeymoon period at first, when they lust after each other and only have eyes for their partner and this has shown to wear off around the 18m mark, then the rose tinted specs fall off! I do wonder if this is why so many marriages fail - particularly noticeable in the celebrity world where people will marry after a very short time! Maybe their marriages do fail because people don't know this and haven't given it a decent amount of courtship. It would be easily policed..... all weddings must be booked at least 18m in advance.... sorted! :smug:
 
I met current OH when I was 16 and I suppose I've never been "fully" single since then! We've had a very on/off relationship mainly because he is 8 years older than me and my parents were very set against us at the time! We've both drifted apart over the years and seen other people whilst I was away at Uni but always stayed friends. I could never have fully commited like he would have liked me to before I'd gone to Uni and lived a little by myself. Seeing other people also made me realise what I had with him.

Then 4 years ago we decided to stop messing around and give it a proper go after trying for a while and he ended up having a fling with someone else :redface: Parents were still wary of him after that episode but we're all good now and have bought a house together!

I agree with Domane re marriage, too many people rush into it without really thinking about what they're entering into. Even knowing my OH for 11 years and being together for 4 I don't feel ready for marriage yet!
 
I think marriage is certainly only necessary as a legal contract, for tax and suchlike. But if you draw your will up well enough you don't really need to be married.

OH and I have been together for over 30 years, never felt the need too get married. Son and local village don;t give a stuff whether you are married or not.

. It would be easily policed..... all weddings must be booked at least 18m in advance.... sorted!
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Nope, people would just book a wedding then sell the place on the list like they do on the Rolls Royce waiting list. My uncle used to put his name down on the RR list and then as his place got to the top of the queue he'd sell his place to someone who wanted a Roller in a hurry.

I really, truly don't see the point of marriage as it means nothing these days. It's as quick to get a divorce as it is to get married. Waste of everyone's time and money.....and the amount spent on weddings to my mind is OBSCENE!
 
We've been married for 4 1/2 years and I've loved every minute of it, hubby really is one in a million and in so glad we happened across each other. We met on match.com, we have so much on common (we were even on the same course, same year at Uni but never met ) but lived 50 miles away so would never have found him otherwise. By the second date I knew he was the one for me, suddenly I realised how a relationship should be. I always wanted to get married, not sure why really... Tradition, social convention, a big white dress...?

Previous to hubby I went out with my only other boyfriend for 8 years. We met at on Princes st in Edinburgh at new year when i was at Uni..when I should have been meeting hubby :(. We had a lot of fun together, travelled the world and lived overseas for a while but overtime is started to go sour. I held onto the relationship for a lot longer than I should have and finally ended it when I couldn't take it anymore. Looking back he was a bully, severely affected my self esteem and I suspect was cheating on me. Thank god I came to my senses! I think it can be very difficult when you are immersed on a relationship to see it for what it really is, especially when you are young. Sometimes I look back and hugely regret wasting years of my life on something that was so wrong but I suppose these are the things that make you who you are.
 
Been together with my OH 23 1/2 years and been married for 19. Got married the week of our daughters first birthday.

Had several short relationships through my teens etc and have been with Martin since I was 20. Its had its ups and downs like we all do but over time it just gets better and stronger.

Singeldom does suit some people and I think I could have lived that life as am pretty self sufficient but who knows. If you havent lived it, you'll never really know.

We got married for the sake of stability for our child (and the 2nd one that was already on the way when we got married, but only just!) and as a commitment to each other. I do think, when times have been really tough, as they were at one point, that being married and the hassle of getting divorced may well have been a factor in us staying together. If it had been easier to walk away, I may well have. But hey, when you make a commitment like marriage and it should be a forever intention (even if it doesnt work out that way) then you should do everything you can to keep to it so we worked at it are still here and very happy.
 
Never really been single. Two year boyfriend from 16 to 18 an engagement from 18 to 22. Next boyfriend from 22 to 27. He didn't want to get 'tied down' so after an argument one night, leaving me in tears, my husband walked up to me (I didn't know him from adam at the time) and asked what was wrong, I told him and he replied, "don't worry, I will marry you". It was a joke but we started dating straight away, got engaged within two weeks, bought a house an lived together within three months and where married in less than a year. Still together after 27 years, mostly very happily although we went through a bit of a rough patch recently but nothing major.

I think times have changed these days with both partners seeming to be 'married' to their jobs rather than each other. How women raise children and cope with a full time job is beyond me, I personally could never have done it unless I had a good enough job for a livin Nanny, a cook and a cleaning lady.

I don't see a point of marrying at all these days unless you are religious.

If anything happened to my husband I certainly could not see the point of marrying again but I think its entirely up to the individuals to choose
 
Like Tina ive never really been single for long periods.

My current OH i have been with for 6yrs and we are getting married next May, we met via an internet car forum (we both modded cars when we were younger).

Meeting him calmed me down a bit i think as did having my daughter. I was lucky that he wanted to be in a relationship with me considering i already had a child with someone else. My ex (daughters dad) didn't make my life easy and my current OH could quite easily have walked away.

Prior to meeting my current OH the longest relationship i had was a 1yr max, never really found Mr right i don't think and made a lot of mistakes along the way (my daughter is not one of them).

I am getting married for my kids and OH's sake really as i don't see why you need a piece of paper to say you love someone, but i think its more about completeness for us as a family.
 
OH and I have been together since we were 16 - so not really much room for anybody else in there !! Though we did have a split at one point and both went our separate ways which was rather sad at the time because the people we both got involved with both got hurt as a result (you don't consider other people much at a young age and when you are on the rebound from a broken relationship). Well, it didn't last long and we were soon back together. I cannot imagine being with anybody else and marriage was just the icing on the cake. We weren't lucky enough to have children but I am still glad we married, I will never forget the happiness the first time somebody called me by my married name. It may well sounds sad to a lot of folk but somehow it made us closer and I felt part of a special partnership. I know, you will all be throwing up in a minute after reading this soppy rubbish:redface:
I have lots of friends and relatives who are single through choice - I have never been envious of their life style but sometimes a little curious:unsure:
OH and I are just meant to be together, I knew that the moment I met him, we even ran away together at one point and had to be legally forced back home!lol:tongue: Back in the 80's people took a dim view of such things and we were indisgrace for some time! Hahahahahaa. I think his family in particular thought it wouldn't last, I can just imagine the celebration they had when we split up for 7 months!! Ah well, it was a poke in the eye when we got back together again..............:tongue:
I don't think marriage is outdated, people do it for all kinds of reasons. We ran away together to Vegas to do it, I am very shy and would not have wanted a big white "do". The idea terrified me and still does!
 
I have been with my husband for 6 years in August we have been married for 2. He was my old boss but we got togather after he left the RAF so technically he was never actually my boss.

I could not and would not want be with out him, he is my whole world.

Marriage is not for everyone. I have been married before and so had OH (twice) we knew what it was all about and the amount of work needed.
 
I've been with Michael for a little over 3 years now & is the longest relationship I've been in. Got together when I was 27 & he was 26 (he's 7 months younger than me). We met on Match.com too, went on a date Saturday afternoon and then again the day after - and that was it. Hook, line & sinker. We moved in together (into his parents' house!) after 6 weeks although that was due to an unfortunate set of circumstances to do with my flat. Nine months after that we got a joint mortgage & moved into our own place (which Michael had owned for 5 years previously). We have talked of marriage but not yet engaged. I personally would love to me married and to me it's much more than a piece of paper - much like Trewsers.

My previous relationship was negative & destructive - he was 17 years older than me (although that in itself wasn't part of the problem). He was with someone when we met but she never really left the relationship, I met him at a bad time between leaving uni & travelling for a year so for the 9 months we were together I was away a lot. He quit his job to come out & meet me to travel for a bit too but left after a couple of months - turns out he'd cheated on me with the ex, it all got really messy & dragged out for a year or so after I came back. Eventually saw the light & forgot about him.

Whenever I was single I always really wanted to be in a relationship & always felt very gutted that I had never been popular. I never had boyfriends at school or throughout uni. I was 22 before I had my first boyfriend and I just wanted somebody to be nice to me (which the first one wasn't!)

In the end, my current OH is lovely & he was worth the wait. There are times when I wished I lived alone - I can be very selfish, I admit that, and I always want my own way when it comes to the house! I also enjoy my own company but on the whole I can't complain.
 
Well, this is embarrassing. I'm 27 and I have had one relationship. We were together for 2 years. I was 20 when we broke up and I've been single ever since! I think men don't like me tbh, too shy or something. I would like to meet someone but I'm also happy being single - don't really meet many young single men with my lifestyle so I guess I have got used to being on my own. Does mean I can do my own thing re: travelling etc but I do sometimes wonder if I'm going to be alone forever!
 
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Hmmm, time to go against the grain!!!

What's the longest time you've been single for?
Pretty much forever :redface:

Do you think everyone should be part of a couple or are some folk better off alone?
I don't think anyone should be anything. Just whatever makes them happy. Personally I hate being perpetually single, but I would rather be single forever than be one of those people who is in and out of long term relationships and has no idea what it is to be independant and do things on your own. (I also have no idea where they find all these guys/girls!)

Is marriage necessary/ an outdated tradition/ not taken seriously enough?
I don't think it is necessary, but I would love to get married and have kids one day. As I am getting older (I'm 27) and all my friends have started getting married, I have started realising that marriage is just what you were doing before, you just spend a lot of money, have a big party and change your name! I have seen people who have got married when they really shouldn't have, I don't understand why you would get married to someone if you clearly weren't committed to them. Probably all for the prestige and showing how much cash you've got.

How long was/ is your longest relationship?
About two years, it was quite on off. Mainly due to him being a few years younger, still at uni and unsure of what he wanted. I think if we had met later in life it might have been a different story, he finally realised what he wanted after he graduated, but it was too late by that point. We are still friends though and meet up when we can. I also had a very difficult relationship while I was at uni...though I'm not sure you could call it a relationship. Somehow I fell head over heels in love with this guy who would come along, tell me he loved me and all the usual BS and then swiftly break my heart again. I was his emotional crutch and he would always seek me out whenever anything went wrong in his life. This went on for about 2 years on/off. It finally ended when he cheated on me with my 'friend' and I came to my senses. I would get emails from him for at least the next 5 years telling me how sorry he was, how much he loved me and how much he always thought about me. Sometimes I think about sending him an email now asking him why and how he could treat me like that, but I think it would be opening a can of worms. Unfortunately he was my first love, and I still think about him.

I broke up with my last OH about 4 years ago (wow! Didn't realise it was so long ago!) since then I have dated various guys, but it has never got past the couple of months mark. I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me :redface::frown:
 
Its ok Joosie, Laura and CFP, I'm with you all!

I'm 33 now, longest relationship 5/6 months. Last time I went out wth someone was around 11 years ago.

I think I'm 85% happy on my own. There's only the odd times I'd like someone there, mostly to comfort me while I'm feeling crap, but I manage ok. I guess I just worry about old age and that, being alone and being that mad old aunt that my nephews have to visit.
I'm too strong willed, too opinionated, and too challenging to be with someone. They would never live up to my impossibly high expectations, and I get irritated by folk if I spend too much time with. I used to do the whole whiney 'whats wrong with me?' thing, but now I'm more confident in myself. I'm me. I think I understand why I'm single. Its a choice, yes there hasn't been many nice blokes to change my mind, but probably because of my impossibly high standards lol!
A part time boyf would be nice. Maybe once a month, after all I have my Flipo to keep me occupied, no time for men!

I do believe in marriage, I just hate that so many folk don't take it seriously enough or are blinded by the honeymoon period and rush into living together, buying stuff together, and marrying, having kids, for it all to blow up in their faces. Its not the case all the time, but sometimes you see it coming a mile off but there's just no point in saying anything, everyone's gotta learn from their own mistakes and I guess you can never be 100% certain.

I guess I'm also a little suspicious of those girls who jump from one relationship to the next without any time inbetween. A couple of my mates are always with someone, like they don't like being on their own. I also hate that they can't even spend one night in their house without their OH.
 
Flipo's Mum said:
Right, Inspired by EBs dating blog, lets have an all things 'other half' day!

What's the longest time you've been single for?
Do you think everyone should be part of a couple or are some folk better off alone?
Is marriage necessary/ an outdated tradition/ not taken seriously enough?

How long was/ is your longest relationship?

And why did you break up with your last oh?

Yep, I'm full of questions today, snow day, I'm bored!!
Click to expand...

Single as in 'not dating' or single as in 'in between marriages'?
I like dating although now I think I prefer to live alone. I would think I had maybe 8 -9 months at one time not dating anybody. Just guessing here.

I now think my perfect solution would be to live by myself but have a boyfriend visit from time to time. Not sure. I think people should do whatever they like. lol

I think marriage is too much considered like a prize. Like woohoo he proposed. I hope to be able to make my children understand that it's a huge commitment and it's okay to wait -or not do t at all

My longest relationship is close to 10 years with OH now. There certainly have been times when the kids provided the glue to make this one stick as long as it has. lol

I broke up with my last one because I realized I wasn't in love with him. And actually I SHOULD have learned something that but apparently I didn't.
I originally came to the US for my first husband. Madly fell in love with him when he was stationed in Europe. And then we had a really rough time here. A few heartbreaking years, etc. I sort of never got over that first one.
I think I was already married for a couple of years to my current OH when I finally was able to let that one go (15 years after my ex and I split).
It would have been best to just stay single and accept the fact that I just never felt the same for anybody else I I had felt for my ex.

If I became widowed or divorced now I would highly doubt that I'd get married again
 
Flipo's Mum said:
I guess I'm also a little suspicious of those girls who jump from one relationship to the next without any time inbetween. A couple of my mates are always with someone, like they don't like being on their own. I also hate that they can't even spend one night in their house without their OH.
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a bit like katie price then? Who has allegedly been single for 4 months in 10 years :eek:

My friend down south is similar - happy to use someone as she doesnt want to be on her own. Feel a bit bad for the bloke really as he is besotted and she justs him around for the interim..:frown:
 
Ah longest I was single was about 2 years. 90% happy in my own company if no one is around, definitely happier with Mr Ruskii.

Been married for 10 years this year, been together 12 and have one child as a result.

I'm happy to admit I'm too selfish to have another child, babies are lovely when they are your own, (I was VERY uncomfortable around babies and young children for about 15 years but with your own it's ENTIRELY different ) but by god they are boring at times. If something happened to my husband I know wouldn't marry again neither would I have another child.
 
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