Sasa is Dead

diplomaticandtactful

Well-Known Member
Apr 25, 2003
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haven't slept much keep seeing her lovely face, her pricked ears, and her body cold on the ground.

keep going over whether i did the right thing, she was so brave and perky despite everything, if you saw her she was bright, full of it, not a thing wrong with her, happy to eat, happy happy happy.

sadly we spent 4 months healing one injury when in fact what was wrong was something totally different and by the time that was discovered yesterday, it was far too late to save her. i will never forgive myself for not taking her there earlier or getting a second opinion, as while it might have had the same outcome, she would have had a better chance.

i asked the vet outright, would she have made it if you had seen her in september and he said yes, or at least she would have had a much better chance. unfortunately when she went down with laminitis we nursed her here, if we had travelled her, then she would have been x rayed and it would have been found. but we have no facilities here to do x rays like that,and at the time she was so sick we didn't feel it fair to take a horse with full blown laminitis 2 1/2 hours in a rickety trailer.

hindsight is wonderful. but Sasa paid the price for it by losing her life. and it is that which i am finding bloody hard to cope with today, not her death as yesterday i was told in no uncertain terms that her case was hopeless, it was too far gone. but it wasn't always so.
 

Dannii5691

Owned by Ponies!
Nov 16, 2009
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Do not blame yourself d&t it would have been unfair to ask her to travel that distance with the lami. You saved her from the meat man in France where she would have faced a cruel end, and gave her a HAPPY life and a kind and dignified end
 
Y

Yann

Guest
So sorry to hear this :( Please don't torment yourself with what ifs.
 

Jane&Ziggy

Learning together!
Apr 30, 2010
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Surrey Hills
Dear D&T, I absolutely understand how you feel - it's so natural to blame yourself and say If only, If only.

But Yann is right and so is Dannii. You saved her from a horrible life and put her in a place she loved with horses and people and everything she needed. Do you remember the pictures you posted when she arrived, of her little frightened face peeping out of the stable?

if you saw her she was bright, full of it, happy to eat, happy happy happy.
Remember her that way and remember that was your gift to her.
 

Cortrasna

Grumpy old nag
Aug 5, 2009
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I cant find any words - I am heartbroken for you and Sasa, neither of you deserved this D&T - Im so very, very sorry. xx
 

carthorse

Super Moderator
Staff member
Jan 6, 2006
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haven't slept much keep seeing her lovely face, her pricked ears, and her body cold on the ground.

keep going over whether i did the right thing, she was so brave and perky despite everything, if you saw her she was bright, full of it, not a thing wrong with her, happy to eat, happy happy happy.

sadly we spent 4 months healing one injury when in fact what was wrong was something totally different and by the time that was discovered yesterday, it was far too late to save her. i will never forgive myself for not taking her there earlier or getting a second opinion, as while it might have had the same outcome, she would have had a better chance.

i asked the vet outright, would she have made it if you had seen her in september and he said yes, or at least she would have had a much better chance. unfortunately when she went down with laminitis we nursed her here, if we had travelled her, then she would have been x rayed and it would have been found. but we have no facilities here to do x rays like that,and at the time she was so sick we didn't feel it fair to take a horse with full blown laminitis 2 1/2 hours in a rickety trailer.

hindsight is wonderful. but Sasa paid the price for it by losing her life. and it is that which i am finding bloody hard to cope with today, not her death as yesterday i was told in no uncertain terms that her case was hopeless, it was too far gone. but it wasn't always so.
You did the right thing, Remember her as happy, bright & perky eating her pasture mix but also remember that she ouldn't have stayed that way much longer, it would have been an even bigger tragedy if her last days had been the ones of pain & misery that were to come.

I'm very annoyed that the vet said that to you, back in September there were no grounds to thnk that this was the problem & so in all probability he'd have done nothing different. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, with it we make far fewer mistakes, butto use it to say something like that is downright cruel. Travelling such a big girl with laminitis may well have finished her earlier, everything with a big horse with laminitis is a calculated risk & all you can really do is deal with the most critical factors & hope the rest can wait - been there, done that.

What happened to Sasa was a terrible, terrible accident. You are in no way to blame for how it ended. I don't think any vet would have immediately taken her to hospital for x-rays & scans & I suspect that by the time they were even thinking of it it would have been too late. Once infections get into bone etc they are very hard to treat & the complications are huge. Sasa had long enough to try to fight it & enough care and love that shewent with a smile on her face. Sometimes that's all we can do.

Be kind to yourself D&T, don't dwell on what if's that were never really an option x
 

daisysp8

Active Member
Dec 11, 2009
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North East Linconshire
You`re right, hindsight always put clarity on situations and makes think about the 'If onlys' .... However, you can`t be sure that something else wouldn`t have gone wrong, had you taken a different path in the beginning. Trailering a horse with severe Lami all that way could have resulted in full rotation of the pedal bone through the combined stress over her weight, and the travelling meaning you lost her then anyway. You did what was right, at that point in time, and that is all any of us can ever do ... deal with the horse that is in front of us.

I know it is hard, but somehow find the strength from the love she invested in you, to find a way move forward. I know how you feel as i have so many what 'if`s' from this last year, so many 'why didn`t I do xyz' .... but if you let them control you, they`ll eat you alive :(


I`m so so so sorry, we all were praying for a different outcome for you, and we`re all here in anyway we can be .... x
 

Thyme & Me

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Nov 23, 2011
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You looked after her perfectly from the day you got her till the day you had the courage to let her go. You made the decisions you made with HER interests at heart - not wanting her to face the stress of travelling and of being away from home and friends. You have nothing to forgive yourself for. It is tragic and heart-breaking - but it was NOT your fault. You out her first - always. As Dragonfarmgirl posted, it's been a privilege to witness such love, commitment, compassion and courage between you and Sasa. I am so sorry you both didn't get the outcome you deserved.
 

trieste

Active Member
Mar 5, 2004
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I am so sorry and absolutely gutted for you, sometimes life is just so unfair, :cry: you did everything you could and a lot more than some would have or could have. Take care of yourself and try to think of her running across the fields, pain free with Big Ears and your others you have lost, nursed unselfishly, with unfortunate outcome.
I have never 'met' anyone more dedicated and lovingly unselfish than you and you continued that to the end.

RIP Salsa, sorely missed and never forgotten.
 

fairlady

New Member
Jul 14, 2007
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Haven't been on for a few days but heard about this thro somebody else. I am so sorry D & T, so very sorry. RIP Sasa xxxxxxx
 

Trewsers

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2004
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I am so very sorry to open this thread this morning - not really any words, just hope that you know what everybody on here has said is true, you gave her the best life possible and have done right by her. I know the sadness you must be feeling right now and can imagine all the thoughts running through your head. Take care, Trewsxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Wally

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Apr 16, 2000
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i was told in no uncertain terms that her case was hopeless, it was too far gone. but it wasn't always so.
But you can't say for sure, what she had was horrendous, the fact you got her back to where she was is all credit to you. It was such a horrific infection you might have found yourself going down this route anyway. Big horses like her are so difficult to manage once they become unsound.

It's only natural that you go over what might have been. I think the way you handled it was spot on. A big horse like her 2.5 hours in a trailer, I agree with you 100%. I think you ought to stop beating yourself up and give yourself an ounce of credit for being a bloody good, compassionate horse owner. Sometimes you cannot keep them going, as much as we are desperate to.
 

Sparky Lily

Well-Known Member
Nov 27, 2008
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As far as I can see, you have weighed up the options at every stage and made the best decision for Sasa based on what could be known at the time. The "what if"s are understandable in the circumstances, but really a fruitless exercise. You cannot factor in the unexpected which might have arisen had you gone down another route.

You did the very best anyone could for Sasa. That you retained her trust all through her treatment speaks volumes. Please don't beat yourself up over what might have beens. Celebrate her life and courage. Spend time with the others - they need you.
 

Russet

Active Member
Nov 14, 2009
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I'm so very sorry. I dread to think how you must be feeling.

Sasa had such a hard time, but she could not have been better cared for in the time you had her. I am sure she was so grateful for this, and is around you now showering you with love and gratitude.

At times like this it's impossible to make any sense of why things like this happen, but you gave her the best life she could have had, and she knew more love than many, many animals ever do. You gave her every chance, then did the kindest but hardest thing we ever have to do. I hope you find a little comfort in knowing you couldn't have done more for her.
 

diplomaticandtactful

Well-Known Member
Apr 25, 2003
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what i can't get my head around is that if you look at her tests, she should have been in excruciating pain.

but that wasn't what she showed me. she was eating heartily, she was demanding to go out and walk, she had her ears pricked, she was happy, not a wretched tucked up horse standing in a corner looking blindly ahead - like aimee was when she was ill.

so she was either an amazing actress, had an amazingly high pain threshold, or just one of the bravest horses that ever lived as she didn't give off the vibes that she had had enough.
 

Dark Storm

Well I'll be a Krampus's Auntie! :D!
Jan 4, 2009
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She was just very good at masking the pain, being a fight or flight animal, this makes the difference between life and death in the wild, if a predator could see her weakness, she'd get picked of straight away..
 

diplomaticandtactful

Well-Known Member
Apr 25, 2003
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no it wasn't just that, her body language was not one of a horse that was hurting, she wasn't walking right, but she wasn't bothered by it, she was just concentrating on sorting out how to move the legs as best she could.
 

Dreamster

New Member
Apr 27, 2011
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You mustn't torture yourself, you did far more than most would have done. Thinking of you. RIP Sasa x
 

neen

New Member
Oct 20, 2005
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I am so sorry to read this D&T. You are such a wonderful owner to all your animals. She would never have come right and you have done the kindest thing. She was happy and loved in her home and no horse can ask for more.