shall I stick with it?

sophie33

sophie33

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Aug 8, 2004
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After almost always having private lessons I have started doing a PRT course at my RS. I am in a group with three teenagers, all of whom of course ride much better than I do (I am an ancient of 38). My RI says I ride much worse in group lessons than in private lessons (I know she is right) because I get tense, but she also says I have to get past it and get on with it! (and she is right of course :eek:).
However, it isn't helped by the options of horses available to me. Last night I was riding a stubborn old dear. She is very hard to get going, partly because she has a very sensitive mouth - so it takes a lot of work to get her going, but if you then accidentally pull on her mouth - she stops again! In private lessons I like her despite this - as she is also very comfy to ride. However, she is also aggressive to other horses. So last night - I was over the moon to find she was finally trotting forwards freely - only to realise too late that it was because she was after biting the bum of the horse in front! He stopped suddenly - she got her way! Nothing disasterous happened. The horse in front was protected by his fluffy winter coat. But it wasn't fun. My RI would like to give me another horse - but various illnesses means she doesn't have a suitable candidate at the mo. The horse I ride in private lessons is never used in group lessons as she is very anti-social indeed.
So what should I do? Go back to my comfort zone of private lessons or stick with it. My dilemma is not helped by the fact that I know I am making life much harder for the others in my lesson.
 
No real answers for you, but just wonder why you went from private lessons to group lessons? I have always found that private lessons were much better for me as it was one to one, and with a group, even a small one, I got bored waiting for others to trot a 20 m circle etc etc.

Maybe if you work out why you went from 1 to 1 to group, that will answer your own question on whether to stick with it or go back to 1 to 1.
 
Perhaps you could ask to be in a different group? If these others in the group are more experienced, its understandable that you feel a bit disappointed with yourself. Perhaps share a lesson with someone of a similar age and ability to help you feel more comfortable?
:)
 
MA made a good suggestion there - ask if there's another group you could ride with. The RS I went to did a "mums lesson" on a Friday morning and was very good.

I prefer private lessons simply because I am always thinking of the "what ifs" when other horses/riders are around - takes the fun out of it for me.
 
Most people need to be able to ride in a group situation to learn more control. As you notice horses behave differently in different situations. If all you want to achieve is to enjoy your lesson each time and are content with your achievements in private lessons then stick with it. If you want to ride in a group then stick with it and learn how to recognize an approaching problem and deal with it as and when you improve. However, worrying about the sessions is not a positive attitude and you must put your self first as you do this for relaxation and pleasure.
 
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. I think Moonraker has summed up my dilemma. I definitely enjoy private lessons more, but I think being able to ride in a group is an essential part of being able to ride! Also I switched to the group lesson because I wanted to do the PRT course, I like the idea of having a goal, working towards it etc.
The added complication is that in return for the little bit of helping out I do at the RS I have been allowed to pay the children's price for the course, as I just couldn't stretch to it otherwise. But I think that means being in with the teenagers. They are nice girls, but I feel worse about messing their lesson up than I would with adults somehow.
The PRT examiner is coming out to test us all mid Feb, maybe I'll stick with it until then. If it is still isn't working I'll reassess then.
 
Difficult question as it all depends on you, the others and the horses!!

I prefer to start people individually and then move to group lessons but I do have several cobs who are saintly in lessons and will do a lot of the work for the rider. Group lessons do make you think and do much more for yourself, in private lessons the instructor will be setting things up more for you and you can inadvertantly be working less than you think. For example if I know someone has a problem I can, by positioning myself and using my voice, really help them in a private lesson without it being obvious.

If however your instructor is struggling with a suitable horse at the moment it might be better to wait until one is available than keep struggling.

Maggie moo, group lessons should not involve waiting for other people to do things but should give you a chance to understand how horses work together and to learn to ride your horses with others, not just following but working up to riding in open order, musical rides etc.
 
Maybe that's how Group lessons should work, but in my experience didn't!:(

Anyway, now I have my boys at home and spend most of my riding in a group with my livery (young girl still learning) so I spend my most of my time teaching her about working with others etc. We have great fun trying to do dressage together and learning the tests and seeing who can remember what.
 
I normally take a private lesson but for some reason (prob cos it was new years day! lol) I had 4 others in my lesson. My horse who I had ridden a few times in the private lessons is very forward going which isnt a problem when it's just me. However when in the group I had to adapt to being able to keep her back behind the horse in front which was new for me.
So I agree group lessons provide different things to cope with and learn from, as do private lessons. Each have their own benefits and I think I'll take both from here on.
 
Thank you both. You are so right EML, I know that my RI gives me a lot of help without telling me, but on the other hand she thinks I should stick with the group lesson so... I think I will give it another month. If I still don't like it I will go back to private until one of the saintly cobs is back in full health.
And yes pmcc - it is a big difference isn't it? But at least you didn't let your horse bite another one on the bum :eek: Still no harm done, and Danny, the sweet little coblet who got bitten was very happy with all the fuss, cuddles and polos he got to make up.
 
Thanks EML that is a nice thought! I think it has more to do with the only saintly coblets that are available being a bit on the tiddly side for me, but I will go with your version - especially as my RI insists my biggest problem is confidence.
 
"She is very hard to get going, partly because she has a very sensitive mouth"

She doesn't sound like the easiest horse to learn how to ride, but she sounds like a GREAT teacher.

Focus on your hands when you ride and be really aware of what they are doing, and you'll soon be a very sensitive aware rider, and probably end up better than the rest ;)
 
Thanks INHS - and you are right - she is a proper school mistress. Keep your hands soft and she can be lovely to ride (once you've convinced her to go..). Trouble is me keeping my hands soft while panicking about her trying to bite other horses!
 
I know how you feel as I didn't get back into having proper lessons until I was 34! (Positively ancient at the place I had my lessons!) OH and I had private lessons together, and even that didn't work at one point as we were both at very different levels, both confidence and capability wise. So my point is, I'd stick with private lesson until you feel ready to move on. Group lessons are a lot of fun - but only if you feel ready for them. Of course your RI must think you are - or wouldn't have put you in a group situ. Its personal choice, thats just my opinion. When I was ready to work in a group it was fab and I had a good time, desipte the age differences between us (the average age was 11!!!!).
 
I don't think I can give you any good advice, just wanted to say I was in a similar situation a little while back. I'd actually been promoted from the 11 yr olds to the teenagers group (I was 46 at the time!) I did find it daunting at first and, like you, worried about spoiling their lesson. However they were a lovely bunch and I kept going and after a couple of months felt comfortable again - sometimes you just need to be stretched out of your comfort zone a little bit.

I now loan a horse from the same RS and have occasional lessons (not every week because part of the deal with OH was that I would be saving money on lessons by loaning a horse!) I do however like to have a mixture of private and group lessons because my loan behaves very differently when he's with other horses and I find I get different things out of each type of lesson. I can concentrate more on my riding technique in a private because the horse pays more attention to me, but in a group I get more experience of dealing with a sometimes stroppy and stubborn beast, as well as awareness of other riders and I pick up some tips from watching how they ride too!
 
I have a private lesson and also a group lesson weekly - I would find it extremely hard to choose which one, if I had to surrender one of them.

Yes I find it harder to ride in a group - the lesson being more geared to the activity focus - jumping, or lateral, or whatever, rather than to me... and the horses behave differently when their mates (or otherwise) are in the arena too.

If you can, try and have both, perhaps a private one week, and group the next?

What's PRT - or am I being dim?

pmr x
 
Thank you all! PRT are progressive riding tests. It is a bit nerdy to want to do them. As well as riding with teenagers I have half an hour a week on stable management with them. But I do enjoy it.
Bodshi - Glad I'm not the only older person riding with children/teenagers. A couple of parents come to watch and I'm sure they are younger than me!
I think a mixture of private and group would be best, but I just can't afford more than one lesson a week. Over Christmas I did sneak in a private lesson - and really enjoyed it. So I will stick with this until the exam in mid Feb, but then probably go back to private, at least for now.
Thanks INHS for suggestion about riding further apart. In walk last week I was halting from time to time to keep a big gap (my horse has longer legs than the others!) but I couldn't manage that in trot because she was too hard to get going - maybe next week will be better!
 
Thanks for all your help. Just to say that this week was better. I wasn't riding the same horse. This time I had a speedy, but still grumpy with other horses, little gelding. And we got on much better. And seeing one of the teenagers ride my horse of last week gave me a sense of perspective - she did handle it better than me - but she had all of the same problems.
And one of the teenagers described me to my shares owner as 'a girl'! At 38 that puts a grin on my face :D
 
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