Should i change instructurs?

[hannah2016]

Hi, my names Hannah and at the riding school i ride at now I’ve been there for nearly 5 years. However, considering that when i started there i was very young, and so have grown out of near enough all the horses and ponies they have :unsure: Now there’s only 1 horse i can ride properly and so i have to move schools. As a compromise, I’m going to go there for my lesson every other lesson.
So the new school im going to is very big with lots of people and they have plenty of horses i can ride:smile:. i went for a sort of tester/assessment lesson on both mine and my new instructors part. I was very nervous about riding a new horse because it would be the first new horse i had gotton on after my accident - which left me in hospital and out of riding for a few months. I informed my new teacher of this straight away and yet she seemed completely oblivious to it. When i was riding i was all over the place yet she seem to forget i was so nervous and made me just get on with it. i was quite uncomftable and i told her this but she seemed to keep pushing me - which i wasn’t to happy about.
I have one more lesson with this teacher today, then i can change after when i book another lesson. There’s another teacher there that my friend raves about. She thinks he’s fantastic, and that my teacher now isn’t great. I want to get the best teacher i can but here’s the thing. Apparently this other teacher is really strict (in a friendly way, my sister used to get taught by him). Apparently he’s just as, even more pushy then my current new teacher. If you say ' i can’t do it' or 'i don’t want to do this' he reply’s with 'why not?'. I want the best teacher to be the best rider i can - but i don’t know what i should do. I’m sorry if this is a stupid question, i just get so nervous and I’d like some advice. What should i do?

 

[kathyt1]

Not all teachers are going to suit everyone. From what you say neither of these teachers are going to be much good for your confidence. It may be worth trying the male teacher as he might not be the same with you as your friend. Obviously try to tell him first though! If he is still pushing you beyond what you really feel comfortable with and there are no other instructors available you will have no choice but to change schools. Where are you based? It is possible someone on here could recomend somewhere that would suit you better.

 

[Wally]

I like an instructor who takes me out of my comfort zone and back into it again a few times each lesson.

When I teach I like to challenge folk a little bit each time. How else will you push your abilities. If you just push the limits and come back, and then visit a scary place and come back you will find you leave the scary places way behind you.

My friend's daughter went to stay with family friends, one of whom as an ex army cavalry instructor who had his own riding school. I watched some of the lessons she had while she was staying with them. He was far, far pushier than I ever am. I don't like getting my pupils in tears.....but that lass came back a changed rider. If she went back for a lesson with him there'd be no bother as she'd be able to do everything he asked.

You don't know whether you can do things unless you take courage and try.

 

[hannah2016]

Not all teachers are going to suit everyone. From what you say neither of these teachers are going to be much good for your confidence. It may be worth trying the male teacher as he might not be the same with you as your friend. Obviously try to tell him first though! If he is still pushing you beyond what you really feel comfortable with and there are no other instructors available you will have no choice but to change schools. Where are you based? It is possible someone on here could recomend somewhere that would suit you better.

Im going to change to him for my next lesson and have a couple of lesson with him then see who i feel is better.
I live in the south east of essex, southend. problem is im only 15, and my parents arent willing to drive anywhere which i understand (they dont feel the same way about horses like i do).

 

[hannah2016]

I like an instructor who takes me out of my comfort zone and back into it again a few times each lesson.

When I teach I like to challenge folk a little bit each time. How else will you push your abilities. If you just push the limits and come back, and then visit a scary place and come back you will find you leave the scary places way behind you.

My friend's daughter went to stay with family friends, one of whom as an ex army cavalry instructor who had his own riding school. I watched some of the lessons she had while she was staying with them. He was far, far pushier than I ever am. I don't like getting my pupils in tears.....but that lass came back a changed rider. If she went back for a lesson with him there'd be no bother as she'd be able to do everything he asked.

You don't know whether you can do things unless you take courage and try.

I completly understand where your coming from, and i too like being pushed - when im on a horse im happy with. The accident i had was quite bad, bad enough to erase 10 confident years i had with horses which has left me in place where i cant get over my fears. I become so nervous getting on a new horse i feel physicaly sick, and i just really want to become comftable on a horse before i start pushing my limits, and i told my instructor this

 

[eml]

Just a couple of ideas. Why is their only one horse you can ride at your old school, is it because they are too small for you? If you have had an accident it may be better to stay with the school you know to regain confidence then move.

Personally I agree with Wally that I like instructors to push me out of my comfort zone but not on the first lesson. Being pushed requires mutual trust, however if you say 'I don't want to do this' the teacher should find ways around your fears so that by the end of the session you can do it, that is how confidence grows.

 

[Wally]

Just a couple of ideas. Why is their only one horse you can ride at your old school, is it because they are too small for you? If you have had an accident it may be better to stay with the school you know to regain confidence then move.

Personally I agree with Wally that I like instructors to push me out of my comfort zone but not on the first lesson. Being pushed requires mutual trust, however if you say 'I don't want to do this' the teacher should find ways around your fears so that by the end of the session you can do it, that is how confidence grows.

First lesson ought to be you, the horse and the instructor finding out what makes you tick. Taking someone up to their comfort zone to find out where it is and what you need to work on.

It's a good time for the rider to start finding out whether this instructor is one you could work with.

 

[hannah2016]

Just a couple of ideas. Why is their only one horse you can ride at your old school, is it because they are too small for you? If you have had an accident it may be better to stay with the school you know to regain confidence then move.

Personally I agree with Wally that I like instructors to push me out of my comfort zone but not on the first lesson. Being pushed requires mutual trust, however if you say 'I don't want to do this' the teacher should find ways around your fears so that by the end of the session you can do it, that is how confidence grows.

They are a very small family run riding school - not in it to make a profit. They do alot for younger children and young disabled children, and so only really have small ponies. They only have a few adults and for them they use their big 17.3 hh TB - which i cant ride bacuse hes to stong for me. Unfortunetly, no matter how much i love it there i cant stay because i have all the confidence i could want on the mare i ride, but thats because iv been riding her 5 years straight. im not going to get any more confidence on other horses because there arnt other horses i can ride

 

[Thyme & Me]

You aren;t really asking a riding question but a confidence one. If you feel physically sick on a horse, do you also shake, freeze, shut down, cry, have flashbacks to the accident? If so, then you need an instructor who can take you past that far more than you need great riding teaching. Helping a person regain confidence is a different skill than teaching. (Though some RIs can do both!)

If I understand you right, you are fine on the horse you know but not on any other horse. You need to explain to the school that while you are a competent rider, your confidence was shattered by your accident and you need to regain it slowly. This means riding like a beginner. Riding horses that beginners ride. And starting with mounting. Then walking - on a lead rein if necessary. Then trotting. Then repeat on a different horse. Once you regain confidence you can then decide who can teach you to ride but if you are in a state of panic when on a horse, then you won't be able to learn anyway. If you face up to the fears in a safe environment, with a supportive teacher and in way that feels manageable to you, it's amazing how quickly anxiety can fade. Good luck :smile:

 

[Skib]

I just agree so completely with Thyme. After any traumatic even both to myself and others, I have been nursed back into riding very gradually.
It may seem to you that you are slowing down progress by not being pushed or facing challenges - but just being on a horse, even in a school and even just in walk, adds to your experience of riding and your good balance in the saddle. A lot of learning to ride is actually invisible.