Should I give up?

[jendie]

I'm having a mega crisis in confidence and feel very close to giving up. Several months ago my youngster fractured my wrist. It wasn't her fault, OH reved up a tractor only 20 yards from her and she kicked out as she galloped off. Unfortunately her hoof connected with my scaphoid and the hoof won! The fracture took a long time to heal and although I was back riding as soon as the cast was off (about eight weeks) my wrist wasn't right for about four months. Just as I recovered from that I was trying out a new saddle on my lovely, sedate, plod of a mare in our paddock. We walked down the paddock and were making our way back to the saddler when a bird scarer canon went off. The horse tensed but I reassured her and she carried on. Seconds later a flock of about 50 pigeons flew out of an oak tree and this was the final straw. Horse did a leap and went straight into gallop. She has never done anything like this before. I found myself on the ground and in agony. To cut a long sstory short I've fractured my spine. There is , thankfully, no damage to the spinal cord but it was a very close call and as you can imagine I am very shocked. I spent eight days in a hospital bed and although I'm now back home I'm in a lot of pain and it will be at least three months before I can get back on a horse. But I'm doubting I ever will. I could so easily have been paralysed.

On the other hand I so love my horses and they are a huge part of my life. I ride every day. I've had my share of falls but nothing as serious as this, I usually get away with mild concussion or a bruise. I'm beginning to think that riding again would be unfair to my OH and children....what if I was paralysed in the next fall.

Any advice would be very gratefully recieved.

 

[juliecwuk]

omg you have had a terrible run of bad luck!

try not to put any pressure on yourself. If after you have healed, then you still have doubts, i would probably consider taking a break from it all (get some loaners for the horses or let them be paddock ornaments or sell them if you wish).

 

[fth]

hi there

what a horrible situation to be in

a friend of mine fell and ended up having a pin in her spine a year ago -- and one piece of advice SHE shares with anyone who has a major injury is to first, recover from the injury and THEN make decisions and choices

you need 3 months to get yourself sorted out without worrying about horses or future possibilities -- so turn your horse away, and focus on getting yourself better

when you are physically healed you can then think about what you want to do in future more "thoughtfully" and make sure you are making a sensible decision rather than reacting to the situation


One truth is that horses are flight animals -- having said that there are approaches and programs that really increase a horse's confidence and a rider's safety -- there are also fun things you can do without ever riding again -- horse agility is a great sport which is just taking off

so there are lots of possibilities -- and only you can decide

the key thing is to make the decisions when you are in a better place to do this

for now, focus on yourself and what you need to get better -- we are here for you as you go through this process and whatever you decide to do we will support you!

best

Cathy

 

[Innocence]

I too would consider taking a break for a year or so, this will give your back a chance to heal properly and when the time feels ride start again but get a RI in to help you gain back your confidence.

Hope you manage to work things out

 

[Joyscarer]

Why does it have to be an all or nothing thing? We don't HAVE to do aything we don't want to.

My real life friends will tell you I'm a big advocate to going back to your comfort zone when a crisis of confidence hits and enjoying things as much as you can.

Gradually when you are no longer putting pressure on yourself you may find yourself wanting to do more, then feeling confused because you know your limits, and then desparate to want to do more - you really want it.

It's then time to start extending your boundaries.

You make the choices, you're in charge. Think about what you still enjoy and do that for a while. There's more to horses than riding!

 

[Trewsers]

That is a bad run - much sympathy to you and hope you heal soon. All I can say is break it down into small pieces, you know, and make it so that you feel safe. Wear a bp if that helps (it helped me no end) and just go for small doable rides. I love horses and its been alife long dream to own one, but I am always having confidence blips, but I am not giving up - sometimes I go "backwards" and other times like at the moment, I feel on top of the world with my mare and feel like we can do almost anything together. The only way for me was to do small things - during the winter a couple of years ago I completely lost the plot after getting bucked off (for no reason other than she was cold, it was foggy and she'd been on limited turnout). I was shocked as it was my first fall in 4 years and I wasn't seriously hurt, just winded. But, it scared me and I had to go back to OH leading me with a lead-rope!!! My confidence came back, but its beena LONG journey and full of small triumphs. Totally appreciate where you are coming from, but don't give up - just slow things right down - do whatever you can that keeps you feeling safe and don't push yourself too much. Good luck.

 

[Mary Poppins]

I have had the same confidence issues in the past - especially since having children. I once refused to jump any xc jumps because I thought that the risk of injury was too great. But then my instructor got me to do it and now I love xc more than anything.

It's all about taking calculated risks verus the enjoyment that you get out of riding. I am as safe as I can be. I ride quiet horses, have good instruction and always wear my trusted BP. I am a much happier person as a result of horses and I love every second I spend with them. Yes, I could have a nasty accident, but I could also die from a number of horrible illnesses, be hit by a bus, or spend my time at home feeling miserable because I am scared to live my life.