Should I give up?


New Member
May 21, 2019
Recently I have become very fed up of riding, I have an amazing event horse which has been my dream since I was tiny, but I have lost my confidence for seemingly no reason and along with it my motivation to ride. I am also currently studying for my A levels and will be going to uni next year so I am very pushed for the time to manage and compete a highly strung event horse, especially when I am lacking the confidence to compete her at the level she is capable of.

I think it may be time for a break from riding and to let my mare go to someone who will take her out eventing regularly, as she absolutely loves it and is currently wasted in my field! However, I am reluctant to give up on my eventing dream and worried I might regret it, especially as I am so attached to her and I have never ridden a horse like her before, and worried I won't again. I want the best for her and I think that unfortunately that is no longer with me.

Any advice would be appreciated or if anyone else regretted giving up?


Well-Known Member
Jun 4, 2014
What does your instructor think?

Personally, for helping confidence issues, I would highly recommend NLP. It would probably help your motovation if linked to

Do you have to event? I don't think horses have any idea of 'potential' but appreciate at eighteen you might not be entirely self funded and other people often do. Could you not compete and concentrate on training or hacking or change discipline?

Ultimately, you'll probably never have much more free time than you do now - I didn't believe it when people told me that at your age either, so don't expect you too - so that's worth bearing in mind.

But eighteen is a tough age and something might need to give, if you're heart isn't in it. If you do go down that route, I'd try looking for a sharer first - or leased to or ridden by a professional - to see if that helps practically to give you some breathing space or will help make up your mind.
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chunky monkey

Well-Known Member
May 2, 2007
You'll finish your studies presumably in July. I would put the riding on hold till then. Its only what about 8 weeks. Maybe you could find someone to hack her out for you during the week and just ride at the weekend till then. Then once hols start you could ride more. If over the hols you cant motivate yourself then perhaps you need to find a home for her. Or if having someone to ride during the week has worked maybe go back to that during the term time. So you dont feel so stressed whilst studying.
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Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2008
I would possibly loan while you go off to university.

There isn't anything wrong with turning the horse away now either if someone/ you can still look after them.
You could both come back refreshed from the break once your A levels are finished.

The confidence issue could be because your attention is being split. I am doing a course which is one subject and it's surprised me how much of my spare time that I originally thought was spare it's taken up! So as a result I did lose interest in riding for a while because I had coursework to do. It's not a bad thing, it's life
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Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2004
Suffolk, UK
Those all sounds like good suggestions, when you have a lot on your plate it can manifest as a loss of confidence, when it's actually a stress response. I think I would find a way to give it until after exams to make any big decisions :)
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