Snooty comments from other riders (mini rant)...

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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Last night I rode my fave RS school cob in what was supposed to be an intermediate group lesson. For some reason some of the advanced riders decided to join us so the standard of the group was much higher. After the lesson one rider (who is very advanced and has a really good competition horse) told me that I needed to ditch my horse and get a better one as he wasn't up to the job and I would never progress anywhere riding him.

I don't normally let other peoples opinions get to me, but this really annoyed me. I don't say anything nasty to anyone at the yard and even if I privately think that a horse and rider combination isn't working, then I would always find something nice to say to them. I have no ambition to win anything or jump high etc. One day I would like to have my own horse, but at the moment I really enjoy my weekly riding lesson on a horse which I love. We challange ourselves in our own way and achieve something each time we ride. I tried to explain this to her which was met with a shake of the head but why should I have to justify myself to other people anyway? Just because someone has got pots of money and a flashy horse, it doesn't mean that they are better than me. I don't appreciate someone thinking that they can talk to me and look down on me like that.

Rant over. Ice cream to anyone who got to the end.
 
I know what you mean, I have 2 Cobs, me and my friend took them hunting and some of the riders frowned upon us because they were not TB's or Warmbloods etc etc, the funny thing was, after 4 hours of hunting, mine were still wanting to go whilst theirs were puffing and panting.
One woman on a hunt actually asked me if I was interested in a 'much nicer' horse as she knew where there was one for sale!

It is just ignorance and snobbery, take absolutely no notice of them and enjoy your horse and your riding.
 
I wouldn't take it as an insult - if you take it at face value she sees that you have the ability to be a very good rider and was letting you know that IHO the horse was holding you back. The trouble is can you take it at face value.

In your place I might ask to try another horse just to see for myself.
 
Cleanboots said:
I know what you mean, I have 2 Cobs, me and my friend took them hunting and some of the riders frowned upon us because they were not TB's or Warmbloods etc etc, the funny thing was, after 4 hours of hunting, mine were still wanting to go whilst theirs were puffing and panting.
One woman on a hunt actually asked me if I was interested in a 'much nicer' horse as she knew where there was one for sale!

It is just ignorance and snobbery, take absolutely no notice of them and enjoy your horse and your riding.
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Thank you. I love this horse and while I do agree that his paces are not up to the same standard of some other horses, we do achieve every task which is set for us. He can do all the dressage movements, jumps nicely and is amazing cross country. People just look down on him because he is a chunky coloured cob. But that's one of the reasons I love him.
 
Tomas said:
I wouldn't take it as an insult - if you take it at face value she sees that you have the ability to be a very good rider and was letting you know that IHO the horse was holding you back. The trouble is can you take it at face value.

In your place I might ask to try another horse just to see for myself.
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She probably did mean it like this, but it was just the way that she said it. It's the bit about 'not getting anywhere with him' which upsets me the most. I do achieve so much with him and it annoys me that she can't see how good our partnership actually is. Plus, where do I want to go? I don't want to by an olympia contender, I just want to have some fun once a week. He is actually being retired soon so I have no choice but to move on to another horse so maybe I am over sensitive to people making remarks about him.
 
I never get it when people do this, who cares if he isn't the prettiest or has the most flashes paces, if he makes you feel happy safe and you enjoy it then keep doing it. It each to their own. I say have fun and enjoy him while you still can x
 
That's it, it depends where you want to 'get' to! :D If you're already there and enjoying yourself then you're already a step ahead of this person ;)
 
Don't worry sit back and laugh because you have achieved what you want and you're content. I'm usually reminded that you can't ride shire horses they are for pulling ploughs I remind them that they where carrying Knights in armour into battle.
 
I get it all the time, I've got a 14.3 coloured cob x, and as I'm 5'9" I often get told I should really be riding a 16h tb or warm blood and that my girl will never progress in dressage, jumping, eventing etc. However my local farmer said only last night that he loved my horse (he's not a horsey person by the way) as he can herd his sheep / cattle all the way around her and she doesn't bat an eyelid and carry's on eating or sleeping. The other thing that I tend to remind people about is yes although it would be lovely to have a tb or warmblood but I live on the side of a mountain and to be honest they just wouldn't cope with the winters or lets put it this way it would cost me more in rugs and feed than having my very very faithful friend whom I would never ever change. So to those people who've said in the past you need to get a different horse :mstickle:
:biggrin:
 
Poor Mary P -
Shall I comfort you?
I agree, you could rephrase her message to mean, If you rode a horse as good as mine, you would shine as a rider?

My fav, elderly RS "share" horse limited what I did in lessons for years. Now, like you, I have a choice but, like you, choose to ride her.

The important thing is that we as adults know both our capabilities and the limitations of the horse we have chosen to ride? And riding a limited horse is an education too - I realised when the RI said I could pretend the mare was mine, that if you own a horse you cant chop and change like a RS student. You make the very best of the horse you own. There is a commitment to one particular animal.

Due to my long history of riding from two yards, I do have two favourite horses (not just one).
Choosing your horse to suit the way you feel on the day, building a secure relationship with a horse over weeks or months or years, enjoying riding it - that seems to me far more subtle and personal than a lot of prizewinning competition stuff. It can't be taught.
Because you are younger, one day you will probably go back to being competitive and athletic and wanting to win rosettes. But do it in your own time.
As you ride your faithful cob, think of me riding a horse that goes so sweetly for me, but wont ever win anything. You cant put a price tag on being happy with a particular horse and enjoyment is invisible.
 
At the end of the day, it's none of their business!!

I really don't see why people feel the need to express their opinion if someone hasn't asked for it.

Only you really know what you've achieved and your very happy with that and your fave horse.

"You stick to your horse and I'll stick to mine, oh and while you're about it, stick to your advanced classes and don't gatecrash ours!" would have been my answer, but then I can be blunt and "honest" too, oh and I also have an opinion when put in that position! :mstickle:

If it were your instructor, "suggesting" you try another horse, that's different all together. You pay for, and want, their opinion and expertise.

I just love people like that! :giggle:
 
whats the phrase... "horses for courses". We each like different things and different horses. If we didn't the world would be a very dull place. Enjoy your horse and let her get on with her stuff.
 
I am beginning to think that there are "horse riders" and "horse lovers". The riders are interesting in competing and excelling and constantly pushing themselves in their sport. Lovers may jump, hunt etc but above all they cherish their horse whether riding, driving or on the ground.

Me, I'm a lover with my lil'chunky coloured cob who looks after, makes me feel safe and allows me to shower her with love and affection - even if she would rather be just eating grass.

Just remember if there rosettes for humanity and genuiness of spirit you would have a wall full of them!
 
LunaRose said:
I am beginning to think that there are "horse riders" and "horse lovers". The riders are interesting in competing and excelling and constantly pushing themselves in their sport. Lovers may jump, hunt etc but above all they cherish their horse whether riding, driving or on the ground.

Me, I'm a lover with my lil'chunky coloured cob who looks after, makes me feel safe and allows me to shower her with love and affection - even if she would rather be just eating grass.

Just remember if there rosettes for humanity and genuiness of spirit you would have a wall full of them!
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Well said!
I ALWAYS use the "horse lovers versus horse riders" quote myself. I really believe in that.

People want different things from life and from horses. To some it's purely sport, nothing wrong in that. Everyone gets their enjoyment in different ways. If someone, like me, want's it purely as a hobby and "only" wants to partake in the so called "low key" aspects then there's nothing wrong in that either!

I don't get where some people get off on telling others what to do. Each to their own and it's no one else's business!! :biggrin:
 
Well done you for enjoying your horse. I always admire people who can make an unmotivated horse look and ride motivated. Now to me, that is someone who can ride.

The lady probably meant well. People like that just don't see horses the way we do.
 
I think that if you felt you had to take the time to justify yourself and be annoyed enough to have a rant on here then this woman has touched a nerve. If so, why is that?

The older I get, the more I dilike people in general but then I also luckilly am getting less bothered about what others think too and so can dismiss more out of hand. That's getting to be the case more and more the less and less bothered I become.
 
try being me, 5'6 on a 12.3 exmoor that has to be kept lean to avoid her having another lami attack. i've heard it all! albeit, i really don't care any more, i know pony is fine (so does my vet!), i'm a HAPPY hacker and lost count of the amount of times we met big ones out riding who were leaping all over the shop at a blade of grass or something ... whilst my little mount just ploughs on home! i know what i prefer!
 
Must be something to do with age and being 'happy in my skin'. If I receive comments content wise on the basis you describe, I just follow up with

...'I'm sorry I don't do unsolicited on (followed up by whatever day it is say Mondays etc)'!

From this individuals will either look at your blank, don't say another word to you and go off for fear of looking a fool because they didn't get the real message, or they have the brass neck/or perhaps confidence to ask you what your comment actually means. This is your opportunity to be assertive - but kind in your reply to them and make them in no doubt as to how careless comments like the one just made can have a, damaging, hurtful or unhelpful effect at best on a person. Conveyed appropriately and without emotion (anger, hurt or frustration) this can make the most seasoned negative commentators think again and it might just help someone else from getting such a comment in the future.

Try it sometime - it works wonders!!!:biggrin:

O)...
 
oumbagirl said:
Must be something to do with age and being 'happy in my skin'. If I receive comments content wise on the basis you describe, I just follow up with

...'I'm sorry I don't do unsolicited on (followed up by whatever day it is say Mondays etc)'!

From this individuals will either look at your blank, don't say another word to you and go off for fear of looking a fool because they didn't get the real message, or they have the brass neck/or perhaps confidence to ask you what your comment actually means. This is your opportunity to be assertive - but kind in your reply to them and make them in no doubt as to how careless comments like the one just made can have a, damaging, hurtful or unhelpful effect at best on a person. Conveyed appropriately and without emotion (anger, hurt or frustration) this can make the most seasoned negative commentators think again and it might just help someone else from getting such a comment in the future.

Try it sometime - it works wonders!!!:biggrin:

O)...
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Good one Oumbagirl!
People should not be so damn rude in the first place so they deserve such a response.:wink:
 
Thanks everyone. It really has touched a nerve because I still feel annoyed 24 hours later! I am so obviously happy when I ride and even if it doesn't go well I always enjoy it and always try to be positive. I guess some people don't like to see others happy.
 
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