Something bad must have been said

cobmum

cobmum

Member
Sep 13, 2009
702
19
18
Middlewich
Sorry to have a moan but i am feeling really upset this morning!

Basically i saw can advert recently for a horse to part loan who was just my cup of tea plus the loan rate was extreemly cheap as the horse can only be used for hacking. I expressed an interest to the owner explaining that i had been loaning a horse just nearby but due to perm lameness i reluctantly gave her up. I was very nice about the owner and horse just incase she knew them. I also mentioned how lovely the lady who indroduced me to the owner and horse was in case she knew her too! Turns out she loaned the same horse a few years ago but had problems with her going lame when the cold weather hit and that she knew the owner and lady who indroduced me to the owner really well.

I emailed back to say that it was a small world and that i was sorry to give her up but i couldnt continue to pay for a horse that was lame each time i rode her. She emailed back to say she would love me to meet her and horse, unforunatley i was working the day she wanted me to come so she asked me to come this Sunday at 3. Unfortnatley, i wasnt able to reply via email the same day as my laptop was playing up. She sent me a rather panicked email saying that she hadnt heard from me and asked me if i was still interested. I replied as soon as ciuld, apologising for delay but that i was still interested and that my delay (1day) was due to laptop issue and asked her how was best for me to find the yard.

This was two days ago, i have heard nothing at all. Know i feel that something has been said to her which has put me in a bad light. The loan was ended i thought in a ok way as owner said she couldnt expect me to pay for a horse i couldnt ride and even aplogised that she wasnt in a position to afford a vet to investigate. I looked after the horse like she was my own and was only ever polite and appreciate to the lady who indroduced us.

I hate to think that i am being bad mouthed in anyway or that things are being said behind my back.

Going forward i dont know what to do, do i send a further email asking if everything is ok or do i just forget the whole thing?
 
Just leave it, you just gave up a loan because of lameness problems and now you want to take on one that can only hack. Is there not a reason for that? Would you not be taking on more problems again?
 
may be absolutely nothing, emails go astray, folks are busy. i would give it one more go if you are really interested.

while if you are loaning a horse, you would be reasonably expected to pay while it was lame for something simple, a foot abscess, losing a shoe, etc, it isn't reasonable to pay for one that is almost permanently off work.
 
Oh i completly agree had she been intermittently lame or lame for a reason i wouldnt ever have considered giving her up. She was lame for two months of which i paid approx £250. It apeared from the start that although i was only lighly schooling or a short hack this was making her worse so had to stop riding after the 3rd time. I offered to pay half towards vet but owner said she couldnt afford it. I was then advised by others at the yard that she had been lame many times before but owner had never had vet to investigate.
 
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She was just so eager and was emailing back straight away and now suddenly everything has gone quiet. I really felt the the loan was ended in a good way especially after offering to pay half for a vet to come out. I know the owner was frustrated that she would have to move her horse as she was unable to afford the livery without me paying half which i completely sympathised but i had to be realistic.
 
at the end of the day why should you pay towards a horse you cant ride? unless of course its your own horse, but thats the risk we take as OWNERS!

I am looking for someone to help me with Pickle, once/if he comes back into work she can ride when she wishes, but the contract between us will state she is paying nothing towards him, I dont see why she should when she cant treat him as a "Normal" horse, I doubt he will ever jump again, I dont know how much work he will handle IF he is ever ridden again, so even if he does get to the stage he is rideable? I dont know how consistant this will be, I dont think its fair to ask anything from her apart from the fact she has insurance to cover her? she is the one doing ME the favour as I am unable to be consistant with his workload, having someone to help means its better for Pickle
 
Can't you just phone her? If she's advertised this horse, then presumably there was more than an email as contact details?

I also don't think you need to jump to conclusions. You say yourself that you had email problems and couldn't immediately reply to an email. From what you've said about her email, she's maybe interpreted this as you're no longer interested. Now you've not received her email you're assuming she's no longer interested.

You're both presuming you know what's going on and both thinking the worst. If you try the old fashioned way of speaking to each other, you won't have to ;)
 
Ive decided that its her loss if she doesnt get in touch. If people have bad mouthed me because i didnt want to keep spending money on an unridable loan horse then thats there problem.

Its made me more determied to get myself back into horse ownership once and for all!!!
 
I think that you should send an email with a contact telephone number should she wish to contact you. I dont check my emails everyday so I would always give a number to call.
 
I wouldn't take it to heart, she might have a few sharers she is dealing with and there might be a better prospect for her. Send her your contact details and leave it at that. I certainly wouldn't jump to the conclusion that someone was bad mouthing you.
 
cobmum said:
Ive decided that its her loss if she doesnt get in touch. If people have bad mouthed me because i didnt want to keep spending money on an unridable loan horse then thats there problem.

Its made me more determied to get myself back into horse ownership once and for all!!!
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What makes you so certain somebody has bad mouthed you?

TBH anything could have happened, she could suddenly have had a relative taken ill or could have been taken ill herself.

You say the loan ended on relatively good terms so I can't see why you
are jumping to the conclusion somebody has said something.

E Mail her again or contact her directly, in all honesty I can't see why anybody would have anything bad to say about you, on the contrary, its the Owner that needs bad mouthing for having a Horse that keeps going lame and not getting the Vet to investigate:wink:
 
This is one the reasons why I hate e mails. Get her number and phone her - there could me a million reasons why she hasn't replied. Don't jump to conculsions before you know what is going on.
 
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