Strange how things go full circle!

misty

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Oct 6, 2016
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I've just had a message from a good friend asking if I'd be interested in taking on a part loan whilst I continue my search for the perfect horse. When she started to explain I was amazed!

When I first started looking for a loan, I found an advert for a tb on preloved. It had been there a while so thought it might have gone but it still turned out to be there. At the time I was having riding lessons on a tb so wasn't so worried about having one. This was an ex racer but the owner assured me he was perfect for a nervous rider as he had been retired after only a few races due to being too slow. I went to see him a few times and he was everything she said. I told her it would be my first loan and that I'd been helping a friend with her horse but this would be the first of my own and she said that was fine and he was an ideal candidate for that. I walked, trotted and cantered him in open spaces and very quickly came to trust that - although he looked at things - he wasn't going anywhere wth me. I took him on trial and paid for 2 weeks. In that time I spent lots of time with him but it was clear that there was an expectation that I would ride with the owner's friend. At first I didn't mind but then she began being bossy and controlling and everything I did was wrong (not cantering fast enough, allowing her to carry a hay net whilst leading her horse, holding my crop in the wrong hand) she was snappy with me all the time and one day she drove up next to me as I was leading him around the yard waiting for my time (in 5 mins) to go into to the school and said in that voice people do when they think you are stupid 'errr - what are you doing?' She then proceeded to sit in the car and stare at me through the window shaking her head.

The next day, I was on preloved looking to see if his advert was up to send a picture to a friend and it came up as 'updated' that day. I got myself in a right tizz wondering if I'd done something wrong (all I'd done the previous day was pick up a huge amount of poo from his private paddock). She told me she'd decided she didn't want someone who didn't have experience of owning their own horse and was worried he'd get ill and I wouldn't notice... which is fair enough but it might have been nice to mention before she readvertised him. Anyway she was quite snotty about it and basically told me not to go back up. I was so upset about it all and felt completely useless.

So that was my first loan.

Thankfully, I found a loan much closer to home shortly after with an owner who built me up so much. She always told me what a lovely job I was doing and how the horse responded so well to me and how she was pleased that I asked things when I wasn't sure. I was so grateful for her as she really undid a lot of the self doubt the first loaner put into me. Unfortunately, the horse was a little too much for me and would throw bucks in sometimes on the main roads. I was gutted when I had to tell her one afternoon but I didnt feel capable enough to handle his little tizzys on the roads.

Anyway, that's a little by the by. So it's now 2 years later. And my friend rings me with a little sparkle in her voice asking how I'd like to loan a nice quiet TB that can only really hack in walk and trot. Turns out the lovely ex racer was sold a few months ago to a lovely girl. He has a plethora of issues that were not mentioned by his owner so can now only hack but after she heard my story, she asked my friend if I'd like to take him a few days a week. I'm having a think and will be having a chat with his new owner as I'm concerned I'm a little heavy knowing he has these issues by my friend assured me he already had them before and has done for a lot of years it's just it was either undetected or not mentioned. The other great thing is my friend told her this would be temporary as I am looking for my own horse and she said that's fine too.

How strange is it how things go round like that.
 
My first thoughts on this is its a pay to ride. A part loan to me is a shared horse not one I only have a few days with. Did you do that before?
My first question would be who rides the rest of the days.

If the owner wants help exercising the tb then I would offer that and money towards shoes. I wouldn't be getting involved with paying someone to ride their horse.
 
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In the past, I've always contributed a given amount for feed, shoes and stabling with a contract that says I'm not responsible for vetinary bills and have my own third party liability insurance. Do you think I'm letting myself in for something? Xxx
 
When I shared I had two set days a week and looked after him on those days, I paid a set amount each month, a small contribution to his upkeep, but I did get to look after him while his owner was away with work, which was quite often, so I go to ride any days I wanted then.
As for the TB you are considering, what exactly is wrong with him? If you liked him before and it was just the owner you didn't get on with, there's no harm in going along and having a chat with his new owner, he might be just what you need right now, then again, he could have developed some issues other than health one's which is why he's been sold on, BUT, the only way you'll know is if you go and speak to the owner.
 
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A 'part loan' or 'share' to me is a horse that you have as your own but only part time, so you might get 3 days a week and pay for half of his keep. Depending on the livery arrangement you may or may not have to do chores on your days.

It is funny how things turn out, hopefully this works out for you :)
 
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In the past, I've always contributed a given amount for feed, shoes and stabling with a contract that says I'm not responsible for vetinary bills and have my own third party liability insurance. Do you think I'm letting myself in for something? Xxx

I hope not. But I am dubious with people wanting to loan out a horse they have only had a few months themselves.
You did try them for two weeks and you will need to retry them again.
I actually prefer full loans or full share not part. That's not to say I won't ever find myself in that situation.
 
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He has an issue with his suspensory ligament and slight kissing spine. I worry I am too heavy and have voiced this to his owner so will see what she says. Other people on the yard (it's the yard where I had my horse for all of the 2 weeks I had it) said that he'd be perfect for me when my friend was mentioning it (they didn't know the background).i feel strange because, although I do know he's likely ok, plus the fact that he can only hack in walk and trot which releases the pressure from me but I do worry about him. I already asked 'what if something happened when I was riding him? He hurt himself more or something?' When I've part loaned in the past I've always done all the jobs on the days I ride. It's weird but I'm currently missing toddling around doing jobs as much as I miss the riding. I'm sure I'll grow out of that one pretty quickly when I get my own again haha. Xx
 
Why would a horse that can only walk and trot release pressure from you? Pressure from what?
If that's all you want to do then do that. Owning a horse is meant to be fun and something you do in your leisure time. It's not about what other people do or don't do with theirs.

If this horse was sale I wouldn't buy it. Sorry but I wouldn't loan it either. Others may disagree with me.
 
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Definitely wouldn't buy it. Didn't trust the woman as far as I could throw her and knew there'd be something she didn't disclose.

I suppose you're right. Don't get me wrong I love a good canter and I always feel disappointed when I don't get chance in my lessons - like last week when the ground was too wet. But I still get very nervous about it. If I can only walk and trot it takes that out of the equation. I'd just have to find something else to worry about - I'm sure I would haha.
 
He has an issue with his suspensory ligament and slight kissing spine. I worry I am too heavy and have voiced this to his owner so will see what she says. Other people on the yard (it's the yard where I had my horse for all of the 2 weeks I had it) said that he'd be perfect for me when my friend was mentioning it (they didn't know the background).i feel strange because, although I do know he's likely ok, plus the fact that he can only hack in walk and trot which releases the pressure from me but I do worry about him. I already asked 'what if something happened when I was riding him? He hurt himself more or something?' When I've part loaned in the past I've always done all the jobs on the days I ride. It's weird but I'm currently missing toddling around doing jobs as much as I miss the riding. I'm sure I'll grow out of that one pretty quickly when I get my own again haha. Xx

Personally I'd be wanting to know more about the suspensory ligament and kissing spine issues, assuming they have been treated and vets given the ok for walk/trot work, I'd be a bit wary of anything with kissing spine too, I've seen a horse react badly to being ridden who had 'mild kissing spine issues' it wasn't pretty and I felt very sorry for the horse as he was clearly in a lot of pain. Do some more digging before you take the plunge, but I am quite cynical these days.
Oh and growing out of doing jobs at the yard? You might, but I doubt it :) the 'chores' are a big part of my day and I really enjoy them even after 7 years of horse ownership.
 
Well, you can look at this 2 ways.
1. There's no harm in this as a temporary thing to get your confidence back in horse handling and pottering about at a steady pace. It was the previous owner's friend who was the real issue last time - she probably soured the TB's owners view of you by reporting back unfavourably. The riding part should be within your comfort zone.

2. The horse could make things worse. Who knows what other issues have arisen since he was passed on. Poor lad. Kissing spines and suspensory issues mean he's ultimately heading for full retirement or pts. I know he comes recommended from people you trust but there could be ridden issues and/or heartbreak ahead. I don't have a good feeling about the situation.

If you choose to do this you are only putting off the ultimate decision. You are very, very like me - a worrier and an over thinker. You have talked yourself out of things in the past and will very likely do the same here. (You are already worrying about being too heavy, what if he hurts himself, etc., etc.) Do you really want your own horse? Or do you want to spend time riding and caring without the pressure of 100% responsibility? If the latter then I would look at sharing or loaning again. If you really want the joys and trials of ownership then you need to get your brave pants on and keep looking for the right one.

Oh - and find the belief in yourself that you CAN do it. It often feels safer to find excuses and talk yourself out of it because it's scarier making a decision. If you want to, you will. But you have to want to more than head back to the safe place. Maybe you see the TB as a safe place. Coming full circle is not moving forward is it? (These comments are not meant to be mean - I am so much in you shoes but without the chance to have my own, even a loan/share. I WANT you to succeed.)
 
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Sounds like the overall reaction is that it's not a good idea. As much as I liked him, this was my initial reaction too. Firstly because I feel I'm too heavy and secondly because I feel worried incase something happens to him.

I tried the part loan thing before and was never too keen on it. I'll probably come across wrong when I tell you why but it was largely down to the fact that you are taking care of someone else's pride and joy. I know horses are living breathing things and can't really be compared to cars but the best example I can give is this. I have a lovely car that's I saved up for. I own it, I park it where I feel
It's safe, I clean it and take care of it and I love driving it. I drive it in the way I feel comfortable with, not the way someone else tells me to drive it because it's mine. If it broke or got crashed into, I'd be heartbroken but I'd take it to the garage and do what I needed to do / pay what I needed to pay in order to get it sorted as best I could. Recently, I borrowed a car off someone for a few weeks while I changed cars. I really liked it, it was nice to drive but I worried constantly that something would happen to it whilst I'd borrowed it. I wouldn't park it where I'd normally park mine or drive it down some of the roads I'd take mine. I couldn't really enjoy it for fear of thinking I'd do something to it all of the time. This was one of the things I found when loaning - sometimes I didn't feel free to do what I thought was right or even to ask other people what they thought was right. i hope that doesn't come across wrongly. It's just the best example I can draw.

I made this mistake once before and writing this has reminded me. I once loaned a 14.2 pony. I was much too big for him but I was told so was his owner so it was ok. He has mostly been left in the field and his feet were hugely overgrown. I got talked into taking him on because I knew someone at the yard and everyone felt sorry for him and so I agreed just to keep me ticking over. I then paid £15 a week to muck out a very laminitic horse who couldn't be ridden. Strangely I didn't resent this as I just was happy that he was benefiting from me being there. Then one day he was really lame so I asked the owner what to do. She told me to ask the farrier so I did. £20 later he told me he was suffering laminitis and needed stable rest and just on lead walks around the yard daily to make sure he didn't stiffen up. I checked with owner and she said that's what we would do.

About a week later, I got confronted in the yard by a woman I had never met who yelled at me telling me there was something major wrong with the horse and that I had the responsibility to call the vet out to him. He needed scans and blood tests, she told me. I heard her outside the stable telling someone 'I'm sick of seeing her dragging him round the yard like a dog!!!' She rang the owner and basically implied that i hadn't disclosed that he was unwell (I only had him 3 days a week - owner had the other 4). The owner rang me in tears saying she'd phoned the vet and the vet came and said carry on doing what we are doing...

It was a nightmare and by trying to be a nice person and take care of a horse who was being left in the field with overgrown feet and terrible laminitis, I ended up making myself a target. It was pretty awful tbh. As I say, I don't always have the best luck or perhaps I don't always make the best choices but I suppose I should reflect on this when making this decision. Sometimes it's not as easy as the owner telling you they're aware of the issues...
 
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Ooof! Various things are going round in my head about this @misty, to be brief (and not curt;)) I'll list them:

A) I think you're too wise, too sensible to take on any old loan. You take responsibility , as one should, unfortunately not all owners do the same and you then end up feeling terrible for things that aren't your fault but that you can do nothing about as the horse isn't yours to decide vet issues etc. I'd be very wary, as you are being, about who's horse you loan because of this. Mostly in order to protect your own good self.

B) I personally wouldn't even get on a horse with kissing spine full stop. I'd be worrying from millisecond to millisecond that he would get hurt and buck me off to heaven. I personally couldn't ride an unhealthy horse either for the sake of the horses health, you sound the same in that I'm very sensitive to their well being and that to me is more important than anything.

C) I think, unless the "ideal" loan comes along for you, you're over ready to buy your own. That way you can care for it as you wish without you nor the horse getting hurt by any uncaring humans that cross your path;)
 
@orbvalley Thank you. I feel ready too. I just wish - without rushing things - that I could find something sooner rather than later as I'm at a loose end horse wise and I suppose this is why I've considered this when normally I'd have said 'lovely horse and thanks but no thanks...'. I can't find a riding school either with the hours I work so that's making things really hard and my current riding school is a once in a 3 week period lesson. I'm not sure what I'm going to do really. I need to keep looking but my experience with the last 'ideal for nervous novice' horse I looked at was a nutter and frightened me half to death so that's not really helped too much either. This is such a game of trust isn't it. And so far (as with above) I've been far too trusting and naive and come out with a better understanding of just how difficult this really is. Xxx
 
Maybe this option has already been eliminated but does your riding school do shares? maybe easier on the psychological side of things to share with a school rather than an individual? just thinking as a stop gap til you find your own....
and secondly, the once in a 3week lesson - do they offer private lessons that you could take up in between....? a bit more expensive by a 30minute private lesson is more than equivalent to an hours group - physically and learning wise.
 
Ooof! Various things are going round in my head about this @misty, to be brief (and not curt;)) I'll list them:

A) I think you're too wise, too sensible to take on any old loan. You take responsibility , as one should, unfortunately not all owners do the same and you then end up feeling terrible for things that aren't your fault but that you can do nothing about as the horse isn't yours to decide vet issues etc. I'd be very wary, as you are being, about who's horse you loan because of this. Mostly in order to protect your own good self.

B) I personally wouldn't even get on a horse with kissing spine full stop. I'd be worrying from millisecond to millisecond that he would get hurt and buck me off to heaven. I personally couldn't ride an unhealthy horse either for the sake of the horses health, you sound the same in that I'm very sensitive to their well being and that to me is more important than anything.

C) I think, unless the "ideal" loan comes along for you, you're over ready to buy your own. That way you can care for it as you wish without you nor the horse getting hurt by any uncaring humans that cross your path;)

Completely agree with this.

I would not even get on a horse that I knew was in pain or could be in pain through a known condition. Kissing spine is painful and I would even out a saddle on its back unless I had spoken to the vet and had a plain of action to treat the condition. It does not 'go away' but it can be managed and with out being rude you stated a few time about being to heavy. asking a horse to carry any weight with kissing spine is hard and I would want min weight if I had the vet all clear to ride. Was the poor thing treated. was it actually diagnosed or was it bucking/rearing etc and this was the guess of the owner as its a TB and 'prone' to KS.

To many questions for me
 
The suspensory will always be a problem. We treated J like he was made of glass but ultimately it resulted in him being pts. Sorry that sounds gloomy.
 
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