@lauren123 I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. I don’t know what the answer is, but all I can suggest is that you find someone to talk to. Do you have a counsellor? If not, would you consider finding one? I have weekly therapy sessions with a very supportive counsellor and have done for a long time. Talking things through keeps my mental health stable and stops letting things build up. I have had NHS counselling but I now pay for private therapy. £50 per session is expensive, but for me it is absolutely essential.