Talk to me about working full-time with horses - and kids and dogs!

[squidsin]

I've been freelance for the past year but the work is drying up a bit, and I've got a great interview for a fantastic, well-paid job next week. Problem is it's full-time, and in London, although not far from Marylebone and the fast train takes 35 mins from here. Who here juggles childcare and horses with working/commuting and how do you do it?

 

[KP nut]

I used to do it but it was hard work! My commute was 1:15 door to door. Kids were in nursery and OH was responsible for drop off and pick ups. Nursery hours were 8-6 and he worked near home so we could manage it. I had assisted livery - so only needed to go up once a day not twice. Doable but you need to be organised.

 

[squidsin]

I used to do it but it was hard work! My commute was 1:15 door to door. Kids were in nursery and OH was responsible for drop off and pick ups. Nursery hours were 8-6 and he worked near home so we could manage it. I had assisted livery - so only needed to go up once a day not twice. Doable but you need to be organised.

I'd need to make a few changes. I get no help from my OH and that wouldn't change - he is out from 6am until 7pm. I could do the drop-off but would need someone/a childminder to pick up after school. And I'd need a dog walker in winter, and probably for Roxy to go onto assisted/part-livery in winter too, which might mean a few changes. She lives out at the mo and if it's a mild winter, she might be able to stay out. Hmmm!

 

[Kite_Rider]

My best friend at the yard works full time, her husband is disabled and unable to do anything to help with their daughter, horse or dog. she does it all, God knows how, her horse lives out all year and she never rugs, days is just quicker and easier not too, but she has a field shelter, to be honest although her horse doesn't suffer she certainly doesn't get ridden often any more. Yard is very close to home though and she only has a 30 minute commute, her daughter goes to before school and after school club and she drops of and picks up. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have a horse, a full time job And children, credit to all of you who manage it.

 

[Star the Fell]

I work full time have one horse and a dog but no kids I am out of the house from 6am to 5pm. A friend turns horse out in the morning for me and my husband walks the dog, so I get to muck out/ ride in an evening. I tend to get in around 8.30.
When my husband is away I have to find an extra 2 hours in the day to drop dog off at MIL before work. pick him up after and then walk him. I find it very hard. And that is without kids. The weeks OH is away I tend to just school for half an hour or not ride at all.
The extra pay would have to be much more for me to choose to go full time, as it would need to cover extra child care costs and I would preferably put the horse on full livery Monday to Friday.

 

[Mary Poppins]

Don't do it!! Life is too short to be a slave to the commuter train.

I have all but given up on my career prospects. I am stuck in a job that was promising when I started it some 12 year ago, but now is mundane and I am stuck in a rut. However I am part time and do 16 hours per week spread over 2 days. On those 2 days I work from 8am till 5pm and my kids go to after school club. They are tired and ratty when they get in (as I am), and after sorting them out with dinner, homework, bath etc. I then get to the yard at about 8pm. I hardly get to spend anytime with the kids, I rush through riding my horse and then say 2 words to my husband when I get home before collapsing into bed. I am glad I only have to do this 2 days per week, if I had to do it everyday I wouldn't be able to cope.

 

[lauren123]

I don't have children, so cant help in that but I do have a busy life! I work full time due to my job I do shifts ( 13 hours) aswell as having sox. When I was home alone for a bit ( parents went on hols!) When working I would be out the door for half 5 , see sox, head to work then back to sox then home. I often don't get in until half 9 at night. Luckly its only 3 days but in them 3 days I am out the house.16 hours!

 

[Trewsers]

I honestly do not know how those of you with full time jobs AND kids cope! You must be super-women!lol I have no kids, work from home, keep my horses at home and get everything done that I need / want to get done at my own pace. I hate feeling rushed / stressed and years ago when we both worked in town and had the horses on a yard it was a nightmare and we had a very untidy house and rarely ate much before eleven at night. I take my hat off to you really I do!

 

[chev]

At one point OH was away driving wagons between Monday and Friday so I didn't see him all week, I ran a pony stud, worked as a school dinner lady daily and in the local shop weekends (OH and I hardly saw each other) and looked after four young children under 8 years old apart from weekends when OH had the kids for me. I've never had a career as such. We just broke our backs trying to earn a living.

Then OH became ill for the first time and had to give up work. We had to give up the ponies for various reasons and I became ill again. I also spent 10 months in hospital while OH had the kids and the house to look after. Life was crap. And anyone who thinks being unable to work is the easy option wants to walk a mile in my boots before they make that judgement.

 

[squidsin]

I have struggled putting my career on hold and this is a job I'd love, and the salary would make family life easier, so the more I think about it, the more I want to make it work. There are no easy options, I know. It's bloody hard being women and trying to juggle everything, whatever your situation!

 

[squidsin]

Don't do it!! Life is too short to be a slave to the commuter train.

I have all but given up on my career prospects. I am stuck in a job that was promising when I started it some 12 year ago, but now is mundane and I am stuck in a rut. However I am part time and do 16 hours per week spread over 2 days. On those 2 days I work from 8am till 5pm and my kids go to after school club. They are tired and ratty when they get in (as I am), and after sorting them out with dinner, homework, bath etc. I then get to the yard at about 8pm. I hardly get to spend anytime with the kids, I rush through riding my horse and then say 2 words to my husband when I get home before collapsing into bed. I am glad I only have to do this 2 days per week, if I had to do it everyday I wouldn't be able to cope.

I totally understand this BUT I do love what I do, and this is an amazing job with great prospects IF I get it. I like what I do, it's never been just a means to an end! Rox would go on part-livery and be v well looked after, with an indoor school so I can ride at night. My main worry is my dogs! They are used to me always being there!

 

[Mary Poppins]

I have struggled putting my career on hold and this is a job I'd love, and the salary would make family life easier, so the more I think about it, the more I want to make it work. There are no easy options, I know. It's bloody hard being women and trying to juggle everything, whatever your situation!

I really envy you because I have racked my brains to try and find a career that I want and that can work around my children. I have thought about setting up my own business but couldn't find anything that I thought would work, I used to spend hours and hours trawling the net for jobs, but no-one wants part time entry, and if they do it is 4 days a week and not the 2 or 3 I want. What I really want to do is ride my horse as much as I can, and I can do that when my kids are at school on my non working days. Life is always a compromise, my husband works hard at his job and brings in the bulk of the earnings, and I look after the house, kids and fit my job and horse in round that. I never, ever thought that life would be like this as I was so determined to stand on my own two feet and have a 'proper' career. But being a modern women is hard. Whatever way you look at it, you are doing the wrong thing somewhere.

 

[MrA]

I totally understand this BUT I do love what I do, and this is an amazing job with great prospects IF I get it. I like what I do, it's never been just a means to an end! Rox would go on part-livery and be v well looked after, with an indoor school so I can ride at night. My main worry is my dogs! They are used to me always being there!

I'm sure they would adjust sounds like a great job, best of luck at your interview!

 

[Star the Fell]

If this is your dream job, then go for it!!
If you don't then you will regret it. You sound as if you've sorted your horse out anyway......indoor school is my dream!....the kids can be sorted as can the dogs. There are more and more 'doggy day care' centres opening near me, or you may find a neighbour willing to pop in a couple of times a day to let them out. I never leave my dog all day on his own, hence the longer days when OH is away as I drop doggy off at MIL.
Working full time is doable. Your house gets untidy during the week, then you blitz it at weekend. Meals are cooked at weekend, frozen and re heated during the week, or you have quick and easy meals during the week and eat better at weekends. How old are the kiddies? You need to teach them from the start that they need to help out. A friend of mine has just gone full time after always working part time, she has two kids and two dogs but no horses. Her ' kids' aged 18 and 14 do nothing round the house, because they have never had to. They wait for her to arrive home , then say they are 'starving', but wouldn't dream of starting tea themselves. She taught them to be like that tho...............

 

[HorseHelen]

Good luck with the interview and I hope you get it. I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work

I'm single with no kids but own house to sort and horse and dog

It really helps to have the horse live out 24/7. She's a warmblood and not a good doer and has adjusted to the change three ish years ago. It's better for her as she had bone spavin in one of her hocks

With the dog I sometimes have a dog walker. But as I do have off road hacking I often take her out hacking so I don't have to dog walk and ride separately

 

[chev]

How old are the kiddies? You need to teach them from the start that they need to help out. A friend of mine has just gone full time after always working part time, she has two kids and two dogs but no horses. Her ' kids' aged 18 and 14 do nothing round the house, because they have never had to. They wait for her to arrive home , then say they are 'starving', but wouldn't dream of starting tea themselves. She taught them to be like that tho...............

Even my 12 (nearly 13) year old can wash up and hoover when asked. They can all manage to cook a meal even if it just means shoving pie and chips in the oven. They have to; OH is often either too ill or too busy depending on how much pain he's in to manage everything. People used to tell me that kids need routine but my lot have never really had one (hats off to all mothers who do manage that) and as a result they've learned to be adaptable. I look at women who work all day and then come home and get tea on the table at tea time with a kind of awe. It's not uncommon for us to be eating tea at nine at night after ferrying kids to friends' houses and back. We have a sort of agreement - we help them out getting them to friends' houses (we are a small village and their friends often live miles away) and they help out with housework.

 

[Gimp]

I couldn't do it again thats for sure, The worst part was my family life felt Part time and my childminder saw my eldest daughters first steps was things like that really. Lasted about 2 yrs before I went back self employed, had less but was happier.

 

[Kite_Rider]

I guess it's one of those things you won't know until you try, at the end of the day if it's your dream job why not go for it, it won't be easy I don't imagine but you only have one life and if that job and the extra cash that comes with it is what you dream of why not, the flip side of that is you may end up with a fantastic salary and a working life you love, but no time to enjoy either the money, your family or your horse. Good luck and I'm sure you will make it work.

 

[Trewsers]

Yes as KR says you won't know until you try - see how it goes

 

[chev]

I couldn't do it again thats for sure, The worst part was my family life felt Part time and my childminder saw my eldest daughters first steps was things like that really. Lasted about 2 yrs before I went back self employed, had less but was happier.

OH missed third baby being born because he was the other end of the country working while I was home in Anglesey. You never get moments like that back again. He was there for the rest of them. But when you work long hours something has to give.