Hello everyone! Did you miss me?
I’ve decided to compress the week’s two lessons in a single digest so I’d have more material, as lessons are becoming more "regular" and (hopefully) I won’t be falling off every other week
.
Wednesday, 25 October
Today’s lesson was pretty uneventful. There were three of us (all male class - you don’t see that every day!). For a change there was a more advanced rider amongst us so I was not in front. Yeeesssss!
I was given Fofinha again, I took her from her stall and into the arena. As I was waiting for the rest of the class I entertained myself by patting her. After a while she turned her head towards me and nudged me in way I interpreted as "You’re really not that bad... You’re a lousy rider but - deep down - you’re an OK human!". Proving the pitfalls of trying to interpret the thinking of our fellow animals, the yellowish smudge on my t-shirt clearly demonstrated her thought process to be more of the kind of "Oh goodie! A white handkerchief to wipe this snot on... aaahhh, that felt good!".
When everybody was present and accounted for we started to work, mostly on the rising trot, a little on the sitting trot without stirrups and a bit of canter at the end. This time I was able to get about half of the posting smooth (wouldn’t say it was exactly right, but I bet Fofinha was happier). I would lose the cadence after a while, get it back, loose it again and on and on... I’ll get there, eventually! The trot without stirrups went just fine, I was able to kept my behind on the saddle just by relaxing (slow trot I guess), so it was easy to practice the movement of the lower back. The little canter we did was enough for me to realise that I still bitch endlessly with the stirrups when going from the trot to canter - probably something to do with the fact that my position is all over the place.
During all of the lesson the only problem was keeping Fofinha from following the front horse all the time. The student in front had to stop a few times in the centre to adjust something (I was too busy arguing with Fofinha to notice what it was). In the end my tactic was to make her leave the "track" and do the corners squarely, so I would keep her on her... I was going to say "toes", but it would be pretty good horsemanship to keep the horse on anything other than her toes. Each time we did the corners in a different way she became (for a few minutes) more attentive to the reins and would not follow the track (and the other horse) without my active guidance. But she was not the only one in autopilot. Once, after we had made one larger turn to show her "who the boss was", I got distracted with something - trusting she would carry on track by herself. Of course she didn’t and we ended up facing the far wall! She might have thought I was testing her (I sure hope that that was what the other students thought I was doing! ).
After the lesson we helped the instructor (and stable owner) to feed the horses (fifteen plus one pony). The lesson had started with some delay, so I guess the horses where happy there were four humans doing the rounds instead of just one. One of the last to be fed was a mare the instructor suspects might me pregnant. It seems she was serviced by a stallion - by "accident", according to the instructor. From the stallion’s point of view "bloody miracle" might be a better description! I guess the human version of "accidental pregnancy" had nothing to do with it "Honey, do you remember last week when they let us into the paddock? And we fooled around when they were not looking? Well... I hadn’t taken the pill then. Looks like you’re going to be a daddy!... Honey, are you all right?".
Friday, 27 October
Yesterday I went to a store in Lisbon, on my way to work, to buy a crop. To avoid having to search for one in a corner of the barn and replace it there at the end of the lesson, I wanted one of my own (pretty good excuse for a compulsive buy, isn’t it?). I tried to hide it the best I could on my way to work, but I couldn’t avoid some strange looks on the subway. I’ll spare you all the comments I heard from my colleagues as I got to work with a crop!
Today my mount was Jubileu, the same horse from the previous Friday (remember... the 17+ hand horse?). I was already with my self-esteem in the pits - I let my mother convince me to wash my jods, so I was the only one around the place with freshly perfumed trousers. Yuck!. But worse was coming. When I went to Jubileu’s box to take him out he seemed to have recognize me. He took a step back and positively refused to walk forward in a "Not this bouncing, kicking incompetent again!" kinda of attitude. After a few wasted minutes of persuasion the instructor’s daughter offered help, which I promptly accepted. I was predicting a complete humiliation by having him follow her like a puppy, but at least he made some token resistance (Thank you Jubileu - I could just kiss you!). He refused to walk again at the arena’s gate, but this time, with space to move him, I just turned him around till he had to take a sideways step and then pulled him forwards (a little trick I read somewhere).
The other student was riding the paranoid "fighter pilot" mare that once again pulled a 360 to avoid being first in line. We did lots of rising trot - and I was finally able to consistently do it without bumps, while gently squeezing the horse forward. On the other hand the transition up to canter was the same disgrace as usual. I still can’t agree with the stirrups, and I had my instructor laughing from the two of us (Jubileu and me) blowing in frustration. Following my instructor’s cues I did a transition by squeezing the legs around Jubileu and pushing forward. I was so surprised at it working so well that I just sat there and we fell back into trot in no time - at least for once I kept my feet in the stirrups <clap> <clap> <clap> <clap> <clap>!
Once again Jubileu proved himself to be a real gentleman. Not only did he lower his head for me to take the bridle off, but the first thing he did when we got back to his box was to take a leak... a very, very, veeerry long leak. If horses could smile of relief he would have. I thing he might have been crossing his hind legs a bit in the way back to the box.
After the lesson I watched the instructor working the mare that might be pregnant for a few minutes. It seems she has been using the pregnancy to put even more of an antic disposition. One thing is certain, she doesn’t like spectators. Not only did she pass gas twice as she went past me, but she even flogged me with her tail straight in my face. I have therefore compiled the following list of milestones in the carer of a rider.
Done
Thrown
Flogged
Farted upon
Having snot wiped upon
To Do
Stepped on (almost)
Urinated upon (almost)
Kicked
Bitten
Butted
Dragged
As you can see I’m really progressing along!
Pedro Fortunato
I’ve decided to compress the week’s two lessons in a single digest so I’d have more material, as lessons are becoming more "regular" and (hopefully) I won’t be falling off every other week
.Wednesday, 25 October
Today’s lesson was pretty uneventful. There were three of us (all male class - you don’t see that every day!). For a change there was a more advanced rider amongst us so I was not in front. Yeeesssss!
I was given Fofinha again, I took her from her stall and into the arena. As I was waiting for the rest of the class I entertained myself by patting her. After a while she turned her head towards me and nudged me in way I interpreted as "You’re really not that bad... You’re a lousy rider but - deep down - you’re an OK human!". Proving the pitfalls of trying to interpret the thinking of our fellow animals, the yellowish smudge on my t-shirt clearly demonstrated her thought process to be more of the kind of "Oh goodie! A white handkerchief to wipe this snot on... aaahhh, that felt good!".
When everybody was present and accounted for we started to work, mostly on the rising trot, a little on the sitting trot without stirrups and a bit of canter at the end. This time I was able to get about half of the posting smooth (wouldn’t say it was exactly right, but I bet Fofinha was happier). I would lose the cadence after a while, get it back, loose it again and on and on... I’ll get there, eventually! The trot without stirrups went just fine, I was able to kept my behind on the saddle just by relaxing (slow trot I guess), so it was easy to practice the movement of the lower back. The little canter we did was enough for me to realise that I still bitch endlessly with the stirrups when going from the trot to canter - probably something to do with the fact that my position is all over the place.
During all of the lesson the only problem was keeping Fofinha from following the front horse all the time. The student in front had to stop a few times in the centre to adjust something (I was too busy arguing with Fofinha to notice what it was). In the end my tactic was to make her leave the "track" and do the corners squarely, so I would keep her on her... I was going to say "toes", but it would be pretty good horsemanship to keep the horse on anything other than her toes
. Each time we did the corners in a different way she became (for a few minutes) more attentive to the reins and would not follow the track (and the other horse) without my active guidance. But she was not the only one in autopilot. Once, after we had made one larger turn to show her "who the boss was", I got distracted with something - trusting she would carry on track by herself. Of course she didn’t and we ended up facing the far wall! She might have thought I was testing her (I sure hope that that was what the other students thought I was doing! ).After the lesson we helped the instructor (and stable owner) to feed the horses (fifteen plus one pony). The lesson had started with some delay, so I guess the horses where happy there were four humans doing the rounds instead of just one. One of the last to be fed was a mare the instructor suspects might me pregnant. It seems she was serviced by a stallion - by "accident", according to the instructor. From the stallion’s point of view "bloody miracle" might be a better description! I guess the human version of "accidental pregnancy" had nothing to do with it "Honey, do you remember last week when they let us into the paddock? And we fooled around when they were not looking? Well... I hadn’t taken the pill then. Looks like you’re going to be a daddy!... Honey, are you all right?".
Friday, 27 October
Yesterday I went to a store in Lisbon, on my way to work, to buy a crop. To avoid having to search for one in a corner of the barn and replace it there at the end of the lesson, I wanted one of my own (pretty good excuse for a compulsive buy, isn’t it?). I tried to hide it the best I could on my way to work, but I couldn’t avoid some strange looks on the subway. I’ll spare you all the comments I heard from my colleagues as I got to work with a crop!
Today my mount was Jubileu, the same horse from the previous Friday (remember... the 17+ hand horse?
). I was already with my self-esteem in the pits - I let my mother convince me to wash my jods, so I was the only one around the place with freshly perfumed trousers. Yuck!. But worse was coming. When I went to Jubileu’s box to take him out he seemed to have recognize me. He took a step back and positively refused to walk forward in a "Not this bouncing, kicking incompetent again!" kinda of attitude. After a few wasted minutes of persuasion the instructor’s daughter offered help, which I promptly accepted. I was predicting a complete humiliation by having him follow her like a puppy, but at least he made some token resistance (Thank you Jubileu - I could just kiss you!). He refused to walk again at the arena’s gate, but this time, with space to move him, I just turned him around till he had to take a sideways step and then pulled him forwards (a little trick I read somewhere).The other student was riding the paranoid "fighter pilot" mare that once again pulled a 360 to avoid being first in line. We did lots of rising trot - and I was finally able to consistently do it without bumps, while gently squeezing the horse forward. On the other hand the transition up to canter was the same disgrace as usual. I still can’t agree with the stirrups, and I had my instructor laughing from the two of us (Jubileu and me) blowing in frustration. Following my instructor’s cues I did a transition by squeezing the legs around Jubileu and pushing forward. I was so surprised at it working so well that I just sat there and we fell back into trot in no time - at least for once I kept my feet in the stirrups <clap> <clap> <clap> <clap> <clap>!
Once again Jubileu proved himself to be a real gentleman. Not only did he lower his head for me to take the bridle off, but the first thing he did when we got back to his box was to take a leak... a very, very, veeerry long leak. If horses could smile of relief he would have. I thing he might have been crossing his hind legs a bit in the way back to the box
.After the lesson I watched the instructor working the mare that might be pregnant for a few minutes. It seems she has been using the pregnancy to put even more of an antic disposition. One thing is certain, she doesn’t like spectators. Not only did she pass gas twice as she went past me, but she even flogged me with her tail straight in my face. I have therefore compiled the following list of milestones in the carer of a rider.
Done
Thrown
Flogged
Farted upon
Having snot wiped upon
To Do
Stepped on (almost)
Urinated upon (almost)
Kicked
Bitten
Butted
Dragged
As you can see I’m really progressing along!
Pedro Fortunato
