The Joys of Having a Sharer!

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Hetfinch

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Nov 26, 2001
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I haven't been around the forum much lately - mainly due to the pulls on my time! DIY livery for Pally over the winter has tested my horsey-commitment to the limits.

And then I discovered .... wait for it.... the joy of sharing!

I advertised on this site and have found a wonderful woman who is riding and helping out with Pally three days a week. What a difference this has made, in lots of ways.

Firstly, Pally gets exercised and cared for and fussed over on the days when I can't give him the time he truly deserves.

Then, he is being ridden by somebody who not only knows how to correct his faults, but also take him on to new levels of fitness.

And I get to have a few nights off AND benefit from the expertise of my sharer. I have only been riding for just over a year and my sharer is very experienced. She is even teaching me to jump!

I'm not saying that it has all been easy. It was very difficult to let somebody into the relationship that I had with Pally. But the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Just wanted to start the New Year off with a happy, positive story!

Happy New Year all :p

Heather (and a rather slimmer, fitter and happier Pally)
 
I was quite surprised, as we were coming into the winter, we only have one floodlit arena at the moment, and Pally is a little arthritic. I had five or six people interested (all through this site).

I know other people have had success with the BHS site too, although I can't vouch for it myself.

Good luck!

:)
 
Never thought of doing that, sounds a good idea. What happens if you both want to compete on the same week end, and if you want to ride , do you have special days? Does she contribute towards expenses ? Tell me more. L
 
Having to let go a bit....

... was very difficult, believe me Rusk! In fact, it still is sometimes. And I vetted the people who responded to the advert well. One woman was a complete nightmare and I wouldn't even let her near a shopping trolley, let alone my horse. She was hitting him to get him to respond to her. Awful.

Laetitia - I've only been riding for just over a year, so I don't compete (yet!). It is only now that I've got a sharer that Pally is fit enough to do some small competitions (2'3" jumping is probably the max). We both get to ride a weekend day each and then divvie up the week days depending upon which is best for us.

All in all, it is working rather well.

Horses, don'tcha love 'em?

:)
 
Possessiveness!!

I agree that having a sharer is a great way to help with the costs and work involved in having your own horse. But on the other hand, it can be difficult to let someone else look after your 'baby'.

I started off being a sharer, and then bought the horse I'd been sharing. I then got a sharer in to help me, but I've just stopped that arrangement. I found that as time went on, I really didn't want to share my horse with anyone! When it comes to my horse, I like things done my way, and I think that I'm the only one who really know what she likes and doesn't like - no-one can look after her the way I do. Logically, I know this isn't true at all, but its how I feel - I admit I'm just very possessive of her!:D
 
I am also finding my first winter of DIY horse ownership very testing. I pay someone to Muck out etc 3 times a week as I found 7 days impossible with work and family committments. It got so it felt like all work and no time to enjoy horse ownership. The trouble is, as the weather is sometimes too bad to do any work with Isa when I'm there, she is not getting enough excercise (so much so that after all the bucking and charging around on the lunge this weekend due to freshness - she offered 4 circles of passage when she saw a horse in the neigbouring arena!! Now she is a nice dressage horse, but this was entirely 'unlearned', so just shows how up a height she was).

So I have also briefly considered a sharer. But really all I want is someone who rides well to ride her a couple of times a week for excersise. Therefore, I think I will look for someone (with references) who would like to ride twice a week for mucking out. All the benefits of a full on share for me, but less risk of the person getting too involved. I think it is a good deal for a rider who can't afford their own horse as Isa is very nice.
 
It was actually becoming a sharer that has brought me to the stage of horse ownership. It was also where I learned to tack up and muck out, but only on the day I rode which was unfortunately one day a week due to small children commitment at the time.

Just wish my rider was just as commited :(
 
Stella How long have you got

Well where do I start. She seems eager enough when you talk to her and she does get on well with Rhi although most of her work is done in the paddock. She has been riding since June and was a bit irregular through July and August. So I said she could pay less than price we agreed on. Did not ride much during the summer hols, but I know that she has to travel from Newcastle and her mum had just had a new baby. Sept, Oct November she has not rode much either she comes for a few weeks regular or she skips some weeks Know her mum has just bought a horse but she said she did not want to ride wanted to stick to Rhi. No payment for those months so I suggested that she pays for Rhi's shoes but would need the money before I went on hols so that I could give it to the girl who would be looking after Rhi whilst I was on hols. Did not turn up with the money so have had to pay myself (although I did say that Rhi would not be shoed if she did not turn up with the money, but I could just not do this to Rhi - was hooping this would make her bring the money over). Know she was on a weeks study leave before I went on hols. She did say she would come over that week but did not. No sign of her at all so far although her gear is still on the yard and she has a key to the tack room. People say that I should give her notice but have not seen her to do so. Have been told I should just text her.
 
Another side to it.

I knew a girl who decided to share as she had a very demanding job and didn't have a a lot of time. It did sound like the ideal solution and the sharer was a friend. She said she could compete a little at club level with the horse when she wasn't able to be there herself. BUT, the sharer turned out to be a much better rider than the owner and really got the horse going well, so it inevitably led to a lot of jealousy. Result, friends no longer and no sharing. Just a thought, as none of us like to think anyone can do better with our horses than we can, I suppose.:rolleyes:
 
I love sharing. i have been sharing my pony since I was 12 years old and if it wasn't for sharing, i would never have a pony anymore and wouldn't get on with my sister so well. Imagine 12yo and 15yo sisters getting on. i always think it is funny, as everyone thinks me and my sister are best friends, not sisters (we don't look like each other at all). Now I'm 16 and my sister is 19 and loads of people think we are marvellous, but if it wasn't for Maverick I wouldn't have learned how to share everything, including responsibility.
I also benefited with my sister being a better and stronger riding, as it has given me much more confidence, and now I am the more capable rider, and we never clash competing as my sister is petrified of going near a show ring, and I love it. She just concentrates on getting Maverick to go as fast as he can and jumping higher and higher. So we benefit all round and Maverick has a very varied lifestyle which he loves because he is so versitile.
 
what about all those people who own horses that compete at the high level, not all of them bought them as investments !

personally I love to watch my horse, and thought I would feel really weird at someone riding her well. But actually it makes me feel really good. Might be different if they were training her as well - right now its my training that they are reaping the benefits of.

I'll be looking for a sharer if I stay in Sweden, but may be coming "home" unless a job turns up soon. I don't really want to put someone through the process and get us all used to each other and then disappear across the water !:eek:
 
Originally posted by Laetitia
Oh dear, that doesn't sound like a very happy situation, Miriam. Personally, I think that you might need to cut your losses on this one. L
Click to expand...

I think you could be right. Waiting to see if she turns up tomorrow.
 
Re: Another side to it.

Originally posted by rusk
BUT, the sharer turned out to be a much better rider than the owner and really got the horse going well, so it inevitably led to a lot of jealousy. Result, friends no longer and no sharing. Just a thought, as none of us like to think anyone can do better with our horses than we can, I suppose.:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Stacey is much more confident than me which is great as that was what I wanted. I have said in a past thread that they are great together. Stacey can handle Rhi mood swings. One day Rhi can be fine to ride the next spooky. As my eldest son has problems with his ears and I was spending a lot of time running backwards and forwards to doctors and hospitals I wanted someone who could keep her ticking over. The one thing I have learned is not to get a friend involved but rather a stranger and get a new friend. The problem with the arrangemnet now is that I have not really got what I wanted.
 
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