The worst day ever with my horse, gutted scared and angry etc!!

[Harlequin32]

After loads of hacking and calm work today i decided to start schooling my ex-racer who is just 8 and been off the tracks for about 7 mths- he has been doing really well just recently, can be a bit crazy but nothing major or that i couldn't handle.
So i get on and try to go into the field he starts backing off quite severely once we got through the gate he backed into the fence and just was a loony. We tried to walk around following after his calm friend who always accompanies us on hacks but went potty!
He jumped around kind of threatening to rear- prob only went up a foot or so but felt like more, doing little bucks and spins-trying to take off with me and prancing sideways. Eventually after not all that long i just had to get off- either that or be thrown off as he was getting worse by the second.
I an totally gutted and sooo angry with myself I was properly scared and shaking but now feel like i failed.
I am scared this is going to be a major step back I'm not looking forward to riding tomorrow. My main fear has always been loosing my nerve and we've had a cr** dayand more

 

[Joyscarer]

I can understand all of that.

This is now your chance to do a post mortem on today and learn all you can from it.

Don;t think of this as a failure as you have so much to gain from today. If you can treat this as part of the precess and to be expected from time to time then you will be putting yourself in the right frame of mind to take things in the right direction form here.

Quit beating yourself up and consider yourself cyber hugged

 

[*Sez*]

Oh, hun!
First things, take a deep breath. We all have days like this one As a fellow owner of an ex-racer who has had more than his fair share of loony days, and someone who lost all confidence in said ex-racer and had to rebuild it, I can completely sympathise. Sometimes, they just have bad days. Then we get uncomfortable and unnerved, which makes their behaviour even worse. It's a vicious cycle, and in my opinion, often the safest thing to do is what you did tonight - just end it.
However, please DO make sure you ride tomorrow, for the sake of your confidence if nothing else. You haven't failed by any stretch of the imagination.
I don't know where you're based, but I have a feeling you've mentioned it before and it was too far for me to travel, but otherwise I would have loved to have come across and been a "ground person" for you. Sometimes all it takes is someone who knows how you feel and can offer some advice to be on the ground and boost your confidence in the saddle. It worked wonders for me.

It sounds like you've made real strides and progress, so don't let one bad day upset you and be proud of what you've acomplished so far.

 

[Harlequin32]

Oh your both so kind I feel so sorry for myself- the problem is i told someone today how well he/we were doing and he had a reputation to keep you know!!
I know all horses have off days and that hopefully tomorrow will be fine. I had hoped to go for a quick round the village later so we ended on a good note but monsoons prevented that!
I am hoping its dry tomorrow blustery weather's never good and we both need a chilled ride to get back on track.
Thanks for the hugs joyscarer and i am in oxfordshire(?!) sez

We have made huge progress really its just hard to remember that sometimes
Thank you both xx

 

[Clava]

Totally agree with Sez. I had a 3yr old tb (from Ascot sales, but unraced) and we had days when the best thing I did was get off and try again later. She went on to be the most wonderful friend and ride for the next 20 years. Good luck tomorrow.

 

[Harlequin32]

Thanks Clava, I look forward to the time in a couple of years when i will be able to say that- He is here for good and i do intend to get there one day.
Its nice to hear people saying its ok to get off- I have always been told not too unfortunatly although i am always surprised at the confidence i have with Henry its not limitless!!

 

[*Sez*]

i am in oxfordshire(?!) sez

Aww, too far for a day-trip unfortunately. However, I stand by what I said - if you have a friend or a local RI with a good understanding of ex-racers, ask them if they would mind being on foot while you ride, even if it's only in a school while you build your confidence in him and he in you. Distraction techniques, and even just someone to tell you what you already know and reinforce your confidence can be a huge help.

 

[Harlequin32]

Darn!!
I have a great friend who insists he needs a gag, very tight flash standing martingale etc
A neighbour dressage rider who hates ex racers and i am too scared to admit he is one
A girl at the yard who just wants to get on and see how high he will go
No-one quite on my wavelength. However i have spoken to a instructor who sounds great, just need to remember to call her

 

[dressed4success]

So know where your at... I have an ex racer and the first time I took her out she backed into a ditch and fell backwards on top of me.... I was sooooo nervous to get back on, but after checking her and me over... I got back on and she was as good as gold.... dont be disheartened, shes just a thourghbred.... and they havent got a reputation for being unpredictable for no reason...

Sending you hugs... their off days are rubbish... but they make up for it when they behave really well afterwards and you remember why you love them after all!

sounds cheesey... bt im in a mushy mood... hubbys away with the army doing horrid things and all I have is little Kez to cuddle up to me!!

 

[Harlequin32]

Hi dressed4success who is little Kez, is that your horse? Having visions of a TB lounging in your bed

 

[dressed4success]

Lol..... no i go and lie in her bed.... Kez is my horse.... her racing name is dressed for success!! I took an hour drive to see her for 5 mins... just to give her a treat! Me misses her lots! :'(

 

[Harlequin32]

I see Can she not be any closer to you? It must be hard having to go that far to visit her, I guess she is on livery though so you dont have to go too often?

 

[sheryl]

Hi Harlequin,
Have you considered he may have been in pain somewhere?
Just asking because 6 weeks ago, I had a similar hair raising experience. Indi is a T/B X, and is very green. When he was playing up a bit under saddle, I put it down to his usual grouchy and difficult behaviour, and ignored him. Then on that awful day, he completely lost his head, and rodeo'd with me, making a determined effort to get me off. I stayed on, but I should have got off really. I could have been really hurt...
After taking his tack off I inspected his back, and he had 2 swellings just infront of his loins.
I had a saddle fitter out, who confirmed that my saddle was bridging on his back. And then I had a back lady out, who had left me with massaging to do every day, until his back is better.
I felt exactly the same as you- gutted, terrified and angry with myself, for not noticing the small signs that he was giving me before .

So don't beat yourself up. I think you did right to get off. Better than falling off!

I'd have him checked all over thoroughly before giving it another go, and then get someone knowledgeable to be with you, when you do get back on.

Good luck anyway x

 

[Harlequin32]

I dont know, I had his back checked only last week and the saddler fitted a new saddle about 3/4 weeks back, he dosent like having his saddle put on and did once kick me but both saddler and back person have assured me all is fine.
Today when i went to put his saddle on he broke away so it is something i wonder but figure as both the above had said he's ok then he must be and he is usually better behaved.
The weather was rough?? thats all i can think of.
If it should happen again i think i should get the vet to check him over though.