Took a big step today - sat on my horse!

annareeves0

annareeves0

Active Member
Dec 18, 2007
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Bournemouth, Dorset
A friend of a friend bought a horse last year, around the same time as i got Rosie and had got herself so scared she couldnt catch her horse,couldnt take its rug off and couldnt get it in from the field! 9 months on, with the help of this guy, John, she is now tacking up and riding out on lead rein and has just done a bit of cantering. Now I think thats a long way to come even in 9 months.

So I thought Id give John a ring, get him to come over and see what happens. I was specifically asking for help walking out in hand (more around the fact I have confidence issues) and help with the saddlechariot - just to make sure I am getting the timing right on my approach and retreat etc. Plus to some extent some things are just plain old hard to do on your own!

Well, having convinced myself I was never going to ride Rosie again, somehow, with a bit of persuasion (and a mouthful of hair as she's moulting so much!!) there I was sitting on her bareback with John holding her and her taking a couple of steps :eek:

Its kind of blown my brain! I havent sat on Rosie in just over a year and last time I rode she threw me and I hurt my shoulder.

I have to confess it did feel good to be up there and Im now thinking whether I want to pursue that route. Either way it was great to feel that connection with her :D Hmmm, will go away to mull over whether I can justify forking out for a treeless saddle.......
 
Well done!!

Well done you!! The 1st steps the hardest. It'll get easier every time you do it. Take your time and enjoy every small step!! Give yourself a pat on the back. Well done again xxx:D
 
annareeves0 said:
I have to confess it did feel good to be up there and Im now thinking whether I want to pursue that route. Either way it was great to feel that connection with her :D Hmmm, will go away to mull over whether I can justify forking out for a treeless saddle.......
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Congratulations!
Why not just pootle around the field bareback for a while, before making any decisions or spending any more dosh?
 
Way to go Anna!!!!

I know how you feel, for a long time I didnt think mine would ever be rideable again (because of his dangerous behaviour probs). Nerve wracking the first few times too!!!

Let us know how you get on wont you?
 
Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone :D

It has been so weird because it is totally not what I had planned to do - ever! I think if he had been coming today with the intention of getting me to sit on her, I would have had my knickers in a right old twist but as it was completely spur of the moment I just did it! And of course, once you've done it once and know its OK, then you can start ..... if you want to of course :rolleyes:

dragonfarmgirl said:
Did you also get the help you wanted for leading, and the chariot ? x
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Sometimes I cant see the wood for the trees etc etc so actually it was really good to have another pair of eyes to look at what we do.

John pointed out that we are still playing dominance games, albeit very subtley and watching Rosie do it with him, made me very aware of what she does to me and Ive got used to, stopped noticing etc For example every time he moved her feet, when she stopped she always took a step towards him, often into his space - he is noticing this, correcting it and 5 mins later she being really well behaved and starting to get attentive/have better manners. I realised how much I had been starting to let the little things slip and once he'd gone I was much more precise in my expectations and got a much better try. All of this is leading to the fact that I am still not entirely 'leader' and until I take the position and prove myself trustworthy then she wont trust me when we are out and about. These are fair comments and things i have always known but chosen to ignore recently ;)

Also reminded me that its OK to be cuddly but only on my terms not hers. Basic stuff that had slowly slid out the window becuase i was beguiled by the long eyelashes and blonde hair!

The other thing he suggested for walking out was not to allow her to 'sightsee' but keep her attention solely on me. This is contrary to what a lot of others recommend???? Im sure Ive read lots of stuff on allowing them to check things out, approach and retreat etc etc He is suggesting when she looks at something off in the distance to get her back to me straight away and not let her look at whatever 300ft away and let me worry about it - hence the leadership thing. Actually that makes sense to me as we'll be fine, she spots something that I cant see in the distance, I remain calm and nonchalent giving her time to have a good look and reassure herself, she freaks anyway, I struggle to get her to calm down and she's on her toes all the way home :rolleyes: It makes sense to not let her focus on that stuff in the first place but am not sure of how practical it is long term? Anyway, we'll see how that pans out.

Re the chariot, he isnt a driving enthusiast (said he felt it was a cop out, which it is, thats what i got it for!!!!) and is very keen for me to ride her. He managed to fob it off by saying once we had the basics rock solid, the chariot would be easy and again I may have to concede a little truth in there.

Short term i will try to remember the leadership stuff and not let her push her luck and Ill see how I feel about the riding when he comes back in a fortnight :D
 
Sounds like you learnt lots - great!

I got videoed 'playing' recently. That was interesting! Bit like having an Instructor out but I can see whats not right rather than being told. I can also see the good bits!!! ...and its a good reminder as when in doubt I can just watch it again!
 
Well done! I know you've had issues but as long as you are having fun with her it doesnt matter whether thats on the ground or on her back.

Its also a whole different ball game not riding because you choose to rather than because you are too scared to!
 
Well done! I know what a huge step it is to get on, especially if you've had a fall and hurt yourself ...

Maybe you should have some lessons at a school, so that you get riding fit and confident in yourself at the same time as getting used to Rosie?

This John fellow sounds brilliant, though ... Where did you find him?

I had a lesson with a Centred Riding Instructor a little while ago; all about relaxing, and balancing and the way your position and state of mind affect the horse - that was on a school horse, not Hebe. But she's said she'll come to Dorset in the middle of June to give me a lesson on Hebe - she's very young, very competent, kind and relaxed: would you be interested in a lesson with her? Either sharing with me, or on your own, on the same day. PM me if so.
 
I have waited a year to hear this, VERY pleased for you. Congratulations. Now you can just sit and potter about the field on her till your confidence grows. Get hubby to hold the leadrope for a while if that makes you feel better, with a pile of hay on the ground so you know she wont be going anywhere. Look forward to hearing your post in two weeks when he comes back!
 
Hmm not quite such a positive day today but am still OK with it (I think) A bit deflated but OK. The last 2 weeks have been good - Ive been very assertive and made a point of actually asking and expecting what I actually want, not asking and then putting up with the 75% effort but with very slightly bolshy attitude that we had got into the habit of working with recently. Is it Mark Rashid that says you get what you expect? Well this fortnight ive been expecting more!

John came over today, did a little ground work to make sure Rosie was paying attention and minding her manners - pointed out that when I backed her up I took a tiny step back too! Oops - thats not meant to happen - I hadnt even npticed Id done it so another thing to watch out for.

Anyway, am mounting Rosie from a plastic garden chair (as you do) and she was a little fidgetty. Previously she had been stood at her tying up tree but this time we were in the middle (fenced off area around shed around 20 x 40 but in weird oval shape!) Anyway being a short arse I struggle to get my weight onto her leaning over but after some leg waving and very precarious balancing on one arm of said plastic chair :)eek::rolleyes:) Ive leant my weight over, rubbed etc and to actually get on I have to get my leg half way over and do a little leap - its not easy bareback with just a mane to hold onto! As i write this Im thinking what the hell was i thinking but it didnt seem as stupid at the time as it sounds now!

To cut a long story short, I hop on, she rears and does her best to escape over tape and I fall off. John says, oooo I didnt see that coming at all! :rolleyes: Im thinking John thinks Rosie is a lovely horse and Im a total neurotic wimp - rearing episode shows that the story isnt quite that simple. Luckily I dont hurt myself and after 5 mins groundwork with John we have another go and take it really slow and I successfully slide on a little more gracefully and have a little sit on for a while and practise my yoga breathing :p whilst cursing the little ****s who have appeared riding round 2 fields up on their mini motos, I get off, fetch apples chunks for Rosie for being a good girl and then get back on the chair and lean weight on again just to prove to Rosie that I dont bite.

So eventually successful but not quite the 'cor I quite like this' i had last time. I guess she has some hang ups too. Watching her with John (who is always calm and never agressive) I do think again, that somewhere along the line she's been abused - she flinched several times as he approached after circling or backing her up and she was very crop shy when I first got her ???? Guess Ill never know for sure.

I also think John and i will have to discuss signals as I think this may be confusing for rosie - she is used to my asks and at times seemed confused as to what John wanted - one of the problem of being a bit eclectic - no-one else knows what on earth you are doing!

So am off to the lovely Isle of Wight Mon - Fri so will be getting NR withdrawal. While Im there my treeless saddle arrives which i wont get to play with til Saturday and wont sit on til Sunday. So next weeks installment will be with saddle - at least Ill have something to hold on to!
 
Really pleased you have a saddle coming. I knew you would do it in the end. How would she be with him lunging whilst you were on or would there be a traditional vs circling clash? (not wanting to confuse her).

You could of course continue to just sit on her under the tree for a few weeks until you both feel confident enough to go any further. If you make it a goal to just be walking by the end of summer, then you take all the pressure off you both. You dont have to go anywhere for three days at a time, then try 10 steps, then just stand still again.

I still believe in your situation you should have headcollar and leadrope being held by someone else whilst she just grazes with you on her back for a few hours a day without planning to do anything or go anywhere. (you might want a pair or reins on headcollar for backup, but you dont have to pick them up if it upsets her. Just take it slow.

Have a great holiday!!!!!:D
 
Hmmn, slight glitch there - well done for persevering and getting back on.

She's been out of ridden work for a while now so just keep taking the baby steps:D
 
Did she 'rear' or did she 'go up in front'?

I make a big differentiation in my own mind between the two. My lovely Welsh Rosie goes up in front - this I see as a result of being forward-going enough to WANT to stride out and not nap, but being confused and frustrated by feeling unable to do so (for whatever reason) despite being requested, or thinking that she is being requested, to do so.

It doesn't actually worry me at all, whereas rearing most certainly does.

From the brief description you give, I believe you are describing what I would classify as 'going up in front'. This I think of as being the result, chiefly, of 'mixed messages' from the human section of the partnership and thus not a problem which the horse presents to me, but one which is presented to the horse by the human. All we have to do is change the messages, or if we can't do that, alter the horse's response to/runderstanding/translation of the messages. Horses are such forgiving, tolerant creatures that this is never an impossible task.

If we were even a hundredth as forgiving and tolerant of each other as they are, the world would be a better place.
 
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Well done.
Re the "Siteseeing" idea I think you may have missread past suggestions.The idea is to focus (Not on what she is trying to get you to look at but where you are going and expecting her to do/go)Malaga was very good at getting me to look at him and what he was watching(siteseeing),which made HIM the leader:)Now you have it cracked you will find it easier:D
 
Maybe all the driving training on the ground has helped you reach a better understanding of her, and her with you.

some of the Haffy mares I have known can be bessoms and need a firm hand.
 
I am starting to realise that Rosie is a bit like our aged collie - willing to please (he'd definately jump off that cliff if we asked him too) but when he doesnt quite understand what it is you want or what to do in a given situation he gets all silly and nervous and very stressed. 25kgs of dog sat on your feet whining and wagging its whole self is managable but translated into ton of horse being all silly and dancing around its another matter. I think the mentality behind the behaviour is actually starting to make sense to me - Im proving to be a slow learner - I get all this stuff and can repeat it back but then weeks later get an ah-ha moment when I REALLY get it!

Re the "Siteseeing" idea I think you may have missread past suggestions.
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Was hearing it but not getting it :rolleyes:

Did she 'rear' or did she 'go up in front'?
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The trouble is when these things happen, its all so fast and youre hanging on so tight its very hard to judge whats going on. When she used to chuck me off before it took me many falls to figure out what was happening!:rolleyes: It felt like a big movement and was done in anxiety rather than just trying to move off - she was held on a lead rope and she knew that was there. With hindsight I think my leap on was just too enthusiastic and it frightened the life out of her.

My journey with Rosie has never been smooth progress but a succession of huge leaps interspersed with some plodding along and occasional backsliding (on my part all this is) I do think we have made progress recently and the focus on positive things like the driving training has been a help - Im a need goal kind of person!

Anyway - have to go organise! see ya
 
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