Tricky situation rant:(

Dark Storm

Well I'll be a Krampus's Auntie! :D!
Jan 4, 2009
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Hadfield
I've just found out the extent of how much my sharer has been riding my big 'un:mad: She had a lesson last tues with her RI, and pushed him to his limits, then took him out for a supposedly "quiet" hack, I assumed to cool him off..
NO:mad: she took him down one of the local bridle ways all the way to the end, and around the two local reserviors:eek::mad:
I'm fuming!!!
My recent posts have been about his saddle and his bad back, but this probably has a lot to do with it..... He's been losing muscle condition, and I've just put 2 and 2 together, and made 1000! I have explained to her he has a bad back and to take it easy, but its either ignorance, or stupidity that's caused this.
When she had her lesson, she never explained to the RI about his back and saddle, the RI was left to think it was mild arthritis or laziness that he was slightly dragging his toes on his hind feet.
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!! What was she thinking???? She knows I'm worried about him, but she's trying to impress her big headed friends, and my respect for her has gone out the window!!
I hate confrontations, but this has took the biscuit, and things are coming to a head. She's letting other people ride without my knowing.. and their riding abilities are no where near good enough!!
One had the bare faced cheek to suggest that he was lazy in picking his back feet up! He had lost some muscle tone in his left hind quarter due to being unable to use it properly with the saddle restricting him, he hasn't been able to do it because he couldn't!
How can I correct this when she's undoing it on the next breath? I've tried to explain, that he can't do what's she's asking of him, because he's not up to it physically, but I think its on deaf ears:mad:.
I've been having problems with them as mentioned in a previous thread about my youngster supposedly biting their horse and not wanting me to give my horse haylage in the field, as they don't want theirs to get fat (I always split a full net into 2 piles in the field which worked well in my eyes) their horse is a growing youngster (a 3 year old) who isn't fat, and I think I'm gonna tell her not to bother riding my horse again.
Tonight, I've taken my big 'un out of the field, and put him in the small field where my youngsters stable is, with a huge pile of haylage, and lots of grass, where I'll keep him at night 'til a stable becomes available, and he'll be in at night.
I'm not a happy chappie tonight... mint choc chip icecream and G&T Sorry if I seem harsh, I'm just so angry.. thanks for baring with me:eek:
 
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I'm trying so hard to get him right, but ignorance on their part is undoing it.. several people today have asked me why I need them.. I'm trying to keep him fit enough to cope with the work I'm asking him to do.
My centered RI, has giving me "home work", to help free up his muscles, i've explained that she needs to meet my RI, to see what I'm asking of her.
I'm a very highly strung person, but don't like falling out with people, as I'm not very good at arguments, I trip over my words:eek: an end up upset:(.
 
and this is what puts me off sharing my horses!! I'd be telling her to forget it tbh, it's not worth the hassle and once the trust has gone, it would be hard to get it back.

At the end of the day - he's your horse and you're doing your best to get him right and if she can't/won't help then tell her to forget it.

Ta for the G & T .....
 
Tell her to go, don't argue or discuss just politely tell her. She's abusing your horse & trying to bully you. Not acceptable.
 
I've only been on this new yard a month, but I already have the support the both the YO's, who are behind me 100%
I really feel settled here, the problem people are moving off shortly and their horse is going to be sold, or out out on loan. I don't think they'd be on much longer anyway, as the YO's arn't that impressed with them at the moment.
I'm crossing off the days on the calendar as I write:D
 
I hate confrontation too - it always makes an awkward atmosphere and I always prepare a speach then it all goes wrong when I try to explain myself. Personally I would just politely say that you no longer need help with him, say his back is getting worse and you want to cut his workload down for a little while, then job done you wont need to worry how much she's doing with him.

Sorry I dont know the history but have you now sorted out the saddle so its no longer ill fitting?
 
Ugh that is something I wouldnt dream of doing if I knew my share horse had a bad back!! I like that the owner and I are honest with each other and both only want to do the best by the horse.
 
sharing is about trust and shared goals, if you both want to ride then one doesn;t go and knacker the horse so that the other person can't etc.

if she doesn't even know the damage she is doing, or able to feel that the horse is not up to it, and he is brave enough to try, then she is pretty useless and dangerous.

get shot of her.
 
Sorry I dont know the history but have you now sorted out the saddle so its no longer ill fitting?


This is under "work in progress".. I'm on the third trial saddle.. was given 2 to try this morning, first one is too high on his withers, I can put my full hand under the pommel when I'm sat on him!
The second looks promising, gonna get approval before paying for it.. If I fail with this one, I will get the saddle fitter to come out and help. These saddles come from this saddle fitter, I've given her the best examples of my horse's shape (clothes hanger, pictures etc.)
 
i share a horse and i wouldnt dream of going behind the owner of my horse shares back. You have told her straight what is wrong and she is being out of order. sounds to me like all she cares about is the riding side of horses and not the actual horse its self
 
She wants to do equine studies, she's good at mucking out and making the beds, but I don't think the health side is something she understands.
I always thought that 99% of owning a horse was looking after him, the 1% is the privilege of riding him.
I don't ride that much myself, 2-3 times a week, between half hour in the menage to 1 and a half on a hack. I tend to do menage work along the lines of walk and trot.. canter I save for hacks.. and that's usually 2 short bursts.. I enjoy taking my time with him, I'm building on that slowly. With learning Centered riding, I'm creating a better bond with him, and his is learning to enjoy his work again.
 
i would just tell her he is no longer available to be ridden by her, and that if he is available at a later date you will let her know, and then dont. he deserves your support, she doesnt sound like she deserves him.
 
Write down everything you want to say to her. Practise going over it and make sure you are clear in your own head the points you want to get across.

Explain to her that for health reasons you dont think the share is going to work out.

Keep cool.

You have to do the best for your horse.

Jen
x
 
Letting other people ride your horse without your knowledge is totally and utterly out of order. That would be enough for me to tell her exactly where to stick it.

If it were me and I'm not a big fan of confrontation I would just tell her you want to end the share agreement. There is no explaination needed to be honest. He's your horse you can do with him what you like. Unless you have a contract in place between you and your sharer you don't even need to give them notice.
 
even if there is a share agreement there is some behaviour that would be totally in breach of it anyway and nullify it and letting other people ride the horse would cover that.

i sometimes do worry about these youngsters who want to be into horses but seem to think they are like cars. my friend runs a horse sanctuary and she says the college trained ones that come to her for work experience are the worse, they don't seem to have any common sense or empathy. sorry please do not shoot me down in flames but she has noticed a change in them.

i was always just mad keen to even smell a horse, touch it, riding was kind of the bonus, i just loved being with them. still do.
 
Allowing others to ride your horse without your agreement is the equivalent of "twokking" ie taking without owners consent. Suggest that to her.
I personally would not let someone so inconsiderate & ignorant like that near my horse.
If you decide to keep her you must have an agreement, about what she can & cannot do, how much she rides, on which days, & not letting all & sundry on. Its up to you.
 
Sorry to read this thread - the sharer doesn't seem to be interested in your horse as an individual who might have specific needs, but more like an equine to be ridden.

I really love your choice of words here, I guess I live by the same rules.
I always thought that 99% of owning a horse was looking after him, the 1% is the privilege of riding him.

I don't know your full situation but from what you've posted here, I'd also ditch the current sharer who clearly has no respect for you or your horse.
Hope you can find someone else a little more suitable and considerate but in the mean time, at least no one will be undoing the good work you're putting in for the back issues.

Good luck :)
 
I think you need to get rid of her, if only for your own sanity. I don't own a horse but as someone who might be a potential sharer i would never dream of doing anything that the owner of the horse didn't want me to do.
Maybe your new yard could recommend a new sharer???

Good luck
 
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