What would you have done?

[Bodshi]

This morning I went to take AJ out for a little ride down our back road again. Last week's attempt was rather fraught so I was hoping for a calmer experience this time.

Really bad timing - just as I was opening our (solid, electric) gate, it rolled back to reveal an older (like me) lady coming round the corner towards us on a grey cob. She was heading in the same direction as us (opposite direction is a big no for us as it goes straight out onto the main road).

She passed by our gate and headed up the lane so I planned on standing and waiting for her to be well ahead before we set off. However she then stopped and started turning circles - I don't know if it was her decision or the horse. I asked if she was ok and she said she thought her horse had seen the horses in the adjacent field but by this time AJ was beside himself with excitement and frustration and starting to throw himself about.

My options as far as I could see were to either a) turn round and go back through our gate, b) ask to accompany the lady in the direction she was heading or c) just carry on as planned and let the lady look after herself.

I'm afraid I opted for c). I didn't think a) was a good option from a training perspective and b) probably not a good option for the lady who looked rather nervous and if she thought her horse was upset just by seeing some horses quietly grazing, may not have welcomed a bucking idiot horse right next to her.

So I sent AJ on, he couldn't walk, we clattered and humped our way down the road for several minutes before he regained control of his senses. When I looked round the lady and her horse had disappeared. I probably completely ruined her hack and she probably thinks I was really rude. She looked like a nice but nervous lady who might have gone back to her yard feeling really good if she'd got past the horses and had a successful ride and she probably went back feeling really shit because she couldn't deal with her own horse's upset.

So, feeling a tad guilty.

 

[chunky monkey]

I would probably have chosen b) but asked which route she was going and seen if it linked in with mine. Then decided what to do. It would depend really on the nature of the horse under me though.

 

[Jessey]

Sometimes you just have to do what’s right for you. I probably wouldn’t do A, as you say not a good lesson to teach. B or C would be valid options but like you said, if she was already struggling then adding an over excited baby into the mix probably wouldn’t help anyone. Sometimes you have to choose the best of not great options.

 

[carthorse]

Sometimes you just have to do what’s right for you. I probably wouldn’t do A, as you say not a good lesson to teach. B or C would be valid options but like you said, if she was already struggling then adding an over excited baby into the mix probably wouldn’t help anyone. Sometimes you have to choose the best of not great options.

This.

You asked if she was ok which gave her a chance to ask if she could join you to at least get past the horses, but just because you're riding the same route doesn't make you responsible for her.

 

[Bodshi]

Thanks. Yes if I'd been on Raf I would have asked to go with her, I might even have made a new friend. I'm glad no-one went for A as I was worried I should have chosen this as the least selfish option.

Anyway I had an idea and I've posted an apology and explanation on our local equestrian FB page. Then I had to immediately edit it because I'd put the approximate time and described the lady's horse before realising she may not want to be identified on a public site. So now it's a rather vague post. Oh dear, I'm getting too old for all this trauma

 

[carthorse]

Honestly @Bodshi her horse's behaviour and her response to it is not your problem. She has no more right to feel you ruined her hack than you have to feel she ruined yours and arguably if she knew she was likely to have problems with the horses in the adjacent field she should have invited you to go first.

If the positions had been reversed would you have been annoyed with her? I wouldn't.

 

[Bodshi]

Honestly @Bodshi her horse's behaviour and her response to it is not your problem. She has no more right to feel you ruined her hack than you have to feel she ruined yours and arguably if she knew she was likely to have problems with the horses in the adjacent field she should have invited you to go first.

If the positions had been reversed would you have been annoyed with her? I wouldn't.

Thanks @carthorse. No you're right I probably wouldn't have been annoyed (but I might have thought she was a stuck up rude cow )

 

[Mary Poppins]

Honestly @Bodshi her horse's behaviour and her response to it is not your problem. She has no more right to feel you ruined her hack than you have to feel she ruined yours and arguably if she knew she was likely to have problems with the horses in the adjacent field she should have invited you to go first.

If the positions had been reversed would you have been annoyed with her? I wouldn't.

I agree with this. If you are out hacking, you need to be in control of your horse and have the ability to make your own decisions. You made the decision which was best for you and AJ. She needs to make her own decisions as well.

 

[newforest]

I would have done C as well.

I have been known to add in a mini loop so the horse in front is well out of site. Mine can be the one who is nappy.

I wouldn't say anything online to be honest. Chances are she's not looking on there or thinking anything of it.
She's possibly just having a ride where she was a little overwhelmed, we've all been there.

 

[PePo]

Probably A but I like all of mine to know that sometimes we start, stop and then re-start. I'd have then left it a few minutes, got off, faffed around (to recreate say setting off and having forgotten my phone or other important piece of kit) and dome some groundwork exercises with the horse if necessary to bring the focus back on me then re-started my ride as planned (or adjusted my ride plan if I thought the original plan eould be too much for my horse's mindset). And used the whole ride as a training opportunity for a less than perfect start ride.

I don't think there's a wrong answer though & you shouldn't feel guilty for the decision you chose if you thought it was the best. It was very sweet of you to post on social media too!

I'm basing my decision on although you might not be responsible for them you never know when you are going to be having issues yourself. I've certainly had a few rides over the years where I've been grateful for the kindness of another rider for changing their plans for one reason or another when they could have just looked after their own interests.

Hopefully you might meet her again & be able to ride together

 

[Sparky Lily]

I would have done a, but that’s because I am a real wimp out hacking, and starting out with a worked up horse would be a big no for me. As PePo says, no wrong answers, as every rider and horse combination is different.

 

[Jessey]

I'd do A with a more established horse, but not one in it's first few months of being ridden and only 2nd ride out from home.