Wish us luck D Day Tomorrow
- Thread starter diplomaticandtactful
- Start date
have asked them to do that but her neighbour is a bit deaf so not sure if it registered!
don't have their numbers at the moment and also she finds it hard to use the phone, we have to pre program it all on speed dial with big buttons but there are only 10 numbers available
things settling down a bit, been down every couple of days with poodles for an hour or so bringing in food etc. Broke the news that we have a tenant moving into her house tomorrow, was expecting a bit of a reaction but seemed ok. So fingers crossed.
Still not really settled, but a bit better, won't go and socialise with the others at all, have asked endlessly. Bringing her up here twice a week either for lunch or lunch/dinner and trip out with the poodles. I had to take cat to vet for vaccinations yesterday so collected mum as she is just up road from vet, brought back for lunch, had a lazy afternoon, then took her to kelso while i walked the dogs, fed her pizza and red wine and OH took her home. We supply home made lasagne, chilli, pies, crumble. Her memory is worse and irrational, last night she wanted OH to get her a twin tub as she wants to do her washing herself. Heartbreaking
she chats daily with her friends at previous home, have asked social services for help but nothing forthcoming, she has had a visit from some church people and trying to change her church to locally will see if Age Concern have any ideas. It's a shame she won't go and join the ladies who meet twice a day downstairs, sit on their walkers and chat and then do a circuit of the garden togehter. I have asked her time and time again to come down and join them, when i go to see her if they are there but she won't
You can lead a horse to water and all that, we've got one the same, won't go out of her room, everything we suggest is met with multiple objections, it's hard work and now even my old Dad who is 88 in a few weeks is showing signs of 'giving up' which is making me very worried and equally sad as he has never, ever been a quitter.
When she's here and going out she's fine, guess we will just have to keep doing this couple of times a week and try to get her out and about and work on that
I suppose I was lucky really, my mum joined the U3A, loved painting, and really kept those things up until maybe 6 months before she passed away. There were things she would have nothing to do with though, like the going down and socialising in the communal lounge - she said they were all old fuddy duddies, and too old! (She was in her 80's)
A lot of it is her eyesight, she can't read any more and i guess she has lost confidence. We did try every gadget under the sun but she wouldn't use them. Her memory though is really bad. And if i hear one more time that all the clothes that i packed in her house, transported and unpacked there are not hers I will bloody scream! She used to go on buying sprees spending 000s at a time and then put them in wardrobes etc and forgot about them then went and bought more!
Took her out today to Abbotsford, so she and OH could have coffee and cakes while I walked the poodles. Back at her flat, got the CD for the church service working, then saw that she had thrown out 7 new sweaters and tops, including a Gollehaug one which was £100 new reduced to £30....the rest were Olsen which are expensive. Dragged them out and asked about them, oh I didn't buy them they aren't mine. Well the Gollehaug came from a shop in Biggar, I gave her the Olsen ones for xmas birthday, some new with tags, all size 20 so fit her. The Emreco ones were bought either at the same shop in Biggar, or a place in Darvel or at the Emreco sale in Glasgow! So i spent the next 20 minutes hanging them all up again as someone has messed up my hanging so while there were enough hangers for everything there now aren't!
You need to polish your halo missus! Honestly, I don't know how you cope. You do so much for her.
Why not take away some of the clothes that you can see she's not wearing, even if you give them to a charity shop it's better than her throwing them away, She sounds unwell though, and I hate to say it but I wonder how long she'll be able to keep living there 
We struggle on. Still very demanding. Complained that the light bulbs too dim so managed to get some of the older style one which are much brighter, complained they are too bright. Asked me to get her some make up, ordered it, didn't come ordered it again, then found there was some in the bathroom cabinet so we now have 3 of them. Still going on about ready meals from the local butcher, I haven't the time or inclination to stand in a small shop and go through the freezer cabinet to find out which if any can be microwaved. Still going on about the bloody heating, complains she is cold - well she turned it off...You do the shopping and then find that the carer has thrown out the milk as it was one day over the use by date but perfectly fine....so have to go and get milk again. Still getting the these clothes aren't mine. On the plus side took her out yesterday to collect a bookcase and then have fish and chips on way home and last week took her to the haining while i walked the dogs and she and OH had ice cream and looked at the views.
we get that one already!!! helps a bit but not always fool proof
We struggle on biting tongues and gritting teeth. God she is hard work, No matter what you do it's not enough. Since lockdown eased, I have taken her back to meet up with her friends twice, once for a birthday, another time just for the sake of it, booked place to eat, driven there and back.
She comes up here usually at least once a week for a meal and we take her out for a drive with the dogs once a week, been a bit less recenlty with Kim poodle being unwell. She is confusing the shopping now as she is ordering ready meals from the local butcher - thanks carers for setting that hare running!!!! So they deliver them to the flat and then find there is no room in the freezer, when we did it we knew what was there and what needed topped up. So that causes more hassle.
We organise hair cuts and take her to them, and chirpodist to come in, And a cleaner once a week, we do the clothes washing. She still won't go and socialise even with the better weather so stays in her room, doesn't walk. Doesn't put her legs up on the stool we gave her for her swollen ankles - it a cat bed but the right height but she won't use it, has cushions on it, comfy but no. So I suppose i will get her a proper footstool just for the sake of it.
She has asked the management if she can move into a one bedroom flat - a couple came up just after she moved in but i didn't tell her about them given ihad just decorated the place, put down new flooring, fitted appliances, and moved her in. If one comes up and she wants to move, she can bloody pay someone else to recorate it and move her as i am not doing it. I have enough decorating to do here to last me at least six months!
She won't make any effort to try to be happy. I am going to take her to see her friend who moved from a 4 bedroom house into a studio flat where the kitchen kitchen bedroom and living space are all one big open area - that might be a reality check!
She comes up here usually at least once a week for a meal and we take her out for a drive with the dogs once a week, been a bit less recenlty with Kim poodle being unwell. She is confusing the shopping now as she is ordering ready meals from the local butcher - thanks carers for setting that hare running!!!! So they deliver them to the flat and then find there is no room in the freezer, when we did it we knew what was there and what needed topped up. So that causes more hassle.
We organise hair cuts and take her to them, and chirpodist to come in, And a cleaner once a week, we do the clothes washing. She still won't go and socialise even with the better weather so stays in her room, doesn't walk. Doesn't put her legs up on the stool we gave her for her swollen ankles - it a cat bed but the right height but she won't use it, has cushions on it, comfy but no. So I suppose i will get her a proper footstool just for the sake of it.
She has asked the management if she can move into a one bedroom flat - a couple came up just after she moved in but i didn't tell her about them given ihad just decorated the place, put down new flooring, fitted appliances, and moved her in. If one comes up and she wants to move, she can bloody pay someone else to recorate it and move her as i am not doing it. I have enough decorating to do here to last me at least six months!
She won't make any effort to try to be happy. I am going to take her to see her friend who moved from a 4 bedroom house into a studio flat where the kitchen kitchen bedroom and living space are all one big open area - that might be a reality check!
Can you ask the managers to tell her there's a waiting list for those flats? Explain to them the trouble you had settling her in where she is now and that you don't think moving again would be helpful. I think you'd be reasonable to say that to them, but I totally agree that if she does get one she deals with moving everything and getting it how she likes.
newrider.com