Would you think this is odd?

[PePo]

I've debated posting this, but I don't know if I'm creating or thinking this is an odd scenario, when it isn't!

We've got an (I assume married) couple on the yard - they've been there a few months or so. I don't really have a massive amount of contact with the wife, but do see the husband more regularly.

He seems a very friendly guy - novicey, so whilst I do try to keep out of people's way I've stepped in a few times to advice if something is potentially dangerous. He's always said hello & we've chatted a few times we've both been down there together after work & he's helped me move my hay & straw on occasions, which I appreciate.

Recently, he's been using greetings like 'Hello gorgeous' and 'Oh, I'm so pleased to see someone looking like you tonight'. He overheard me talking to my friend about my Pilates class & the fact I've just started going to the gym & he started a conversation with me about how I don't need to go as I've already got a good figure ...

Would you think this is weird? I don't really know him well enough to know if he's like this with everyone or not?! Obviously, I don't want to create an atmosphere or awkwardness - but, I don't know ...?!

I would hate for anyone to get the wrong end of the stick - I just want to go to the yard, see Pete & chill not create drama. It's not even like I look remotely attractive in jodhpurs, having just ridden with hat hair & little make up. Plus, I have eaten a lot of cake recently

 

[KP nut]

Yes I think he's chatting you up. Whether he does that to everyone I have no idea. Some people flirt like they breathe. I think the key would be to see how he is with you when his wife is around. Personally I hate cheesy chat up lines, and I would utterly cringe if a guy said I 'didn't need' to go to a fitness class as that is so patronising. I play sport and go to classes because they are fun, good for my health and I like feeling fit and strong. Not so I can look good for men!!!!

 

[newforest]

Depends if it makes you feel uncomfortable or not. We have builders on our yard and we banter. Innocent fun, no one fancies the other. I can be quick to throw back comments.
I get gosh a total eclipse happens when you go by with the cob, I think they mean her bum, but I joke about mine.
It's normal for me to give my farrier a kiss and a hug actually, that's just friendly and I am a friendly person.

 

[joosie]

I don't mind flirting or cheeky comments - from single men. But for a married man to be making those comments to another woman is wrong in my eyes. If it was me I'd be telling him nicely but firmly to keep his thoughts to himself and save the "hello gorgeous" for his wife. Though this is all hypothetical of course as generally I am not the sort of person men usually flirt with!

 

[MrA]

Not odd no, most the guys at work think nothing of oggling women and chatting them up, they are all in steady relationships/engaged/married. No one fancies me so I'm fine, but if it ever did happen I would back right off and probably would avoid speaking to them, or just make it clear I have a bf and/not interested.

 

[Ruskii]

If my husband addressed another woman like that - I'd be hopping in fury. And vice versa !! He's chatting you up for certain and I wouldn't be comfortable with that, why does think it's OK to pass comment on your figure or your appearance ? You can be friendly without making comments like this and I think he's testing the waters personally.

 

[Jayne]

Yeah, I also think he's definitely testing the waters. Either that or he's just a big flirt. You're soon gonna find out when you see him around others or his wife. But either way you either put a stop to it now or he's gonna carry on. Personally I'd be thinking that he was watching me ,and that would make me uncomfortable !! [emoji33]

 

[MrC]

He could just be comfy around you. Some people are genuinely just flirts and enjoy banter. I have a few fiends like that both men and women and if someone tried to take it further than talk they wouldn't go there.

If you. Are uncomfortable with it then tell him. One thing I cannot stand is people who will not pipe up when something you are saying or doing is annoying them then just go off the deep end one day when a quick, please don't do/say that, will suffice in ending the issue.

 

[Trewsers]

Sounds like he's flirting with you. Could just be his way. I honestly don't know what I'd do lol never had this problem! Well, OH and I were on a yard together so nobody would flirt with me when he was there anyways..... Hmmmm. If it's all light hearted I wouldn't worry about it. Just watch out for his missus waiting for you with a fork full of horse poo........lol only kidding

 

[newforest]

One of the things you said, is I assumed married. They may not be and they could just be friends, brother and sister even.
I would sort that first, never assume.

 

[Trewsers]

Oh yes I never thought of that, NF is right, they might just be friends or relatives!

 

[Kite_Rider]

The most important thing regardless of if he's married, if he's chatting you up or if it's just his way, if it bothers you then it's wrong and you need to tell him so, be polite but tell him you don't like his comments and you would prefer it if he didn't speak to you in that way.
I work on a building site and over the years have developed a thick skin, most of the guys on site are married or in a relationship and some are flirty some are not but the big difference is none of it is serious and I couldn't give a fig either way.
I don't take offence to their comments and I can give as good as I get but if it made me in anyway uncomfortable in anyway then I would put a stop to it pretty quick.

 

[Mary Poppins]

I would just ignore the comments personally and take them as a compliment. It's not like he has made a move on you or asked you to meet him for a drink etc. You run the risk of turning it into a big issue perhaps only to find out later that he talks to everyone like this. I would probably make frequent references to his girlfriend (e.g. "Is your girlfriend riding tomorrow" etc.).

 

[Gimp]

If just banter/words etc I would just roll my eyes and tell him to bog off, If he crossed any boundries on personal space, or asked out etc then I would lay the law down on him. Im used to dealing with idiots from having my own village pub! Some guys are just like that, and worse after a drink! Some are just harmless idiots to ! I wouldnt worry about it to much, but tell him to pack it in if its annoying you.

 

[Flipo's Mum]

I agree with @Gimp. You seem a bit uneasy about it and uncomfortable, my suggested response is just brush it off, be cheeky back some days, some other days be business like and focused on dealing with your horse so only able to say hi, and other days have a chat, be friendly as you usually have. Basically you need him to realise that you're not interested, but if you're like me, you want to do that without actually having to say 'please don't talk to me like that!' Sarcasm is a good friend for these situations - next time he says something complimentary, ask him if his wife agrees. In a light tone. It's flattering but it's interfering with your horse time and im sure you want to not have this become a problem and ruin that time. Keep in mind that you can say no and whatever he might want to happen, can't, without your agreement. I find that thought reassuring.

 

[Flipo's Mum]

I would just ignore the comments personally and take them as a compliment. It's not like he has made a move on you or asked you to meet him for a drink etc. You run the risk of turning it into a big issue perhaps only to find out later that he talks to everyone like this. I would probably make frequent references to his girlfriend (e.g. "Is your girlfriend riding tomorrow" etc.).

I guess the constant references could back fire though - he might think you're deliberately mentioning his girlfriend/wife because you fancy him!

 

[squidsin]

It wouldn't really bother me - there is a guy on my yard like this but he's in his 60s and it's just his way, and I am 40 now and will take all the compliments I can get! If you are uncomfortable, then be short with him and stop helping him, he will soon get the message.