Confidence in strange situations?

[gail_rose]

I've been riding for nearly 20 years now, had a break between the ages of 16 & 22 and have not ridden properly for about a year now. Since I stopped riding about a year ago my confidence has taken a total nosedive.
I was in Aberdeen for 3 days this week at a place that used to run riding holidays until fairly recently, and knew I was going to be doing quite a lot of riding while I was there so I borrowed a friend's cob for a couple of rides before I went.
I know my friend's horse quite well but felt nervous on him in the arena, too scared to trot on one occasion :redface: and thought I'd wuss out of any riding while I was away. It was the total opposite - I rode 3 different horses over difficult terrain & had some pretty fast canters too without feeling too nervous at all. Didn't even want to come home!
I just can't understand why I'd be petrified on a horse I know in an enclosed space but feel so safe on horses I don't know very well over rough ground?
Anyone else ever experienced confidence in strange situations?

 

[Trewsers]

It is strange, for instance a few years ago OH and I went hacking on holiday and cantered on the beach, this is not something I had planned, but my horse followed the rest! At that particular time I would not even trot my own horse on a beach or in an open space - never mind doing the C word! lol.
OH and I were looking at some riding holiday centres recently in a magazine that offer one day rides (we wouldn't be staying over night) but I don't know now if I have the confidence to tackle a strange horse - daft isn't it?! See how things have changed - years ago I was the opposite. I think confidence is such a weird thing!

 

[selside]

I know exactly what you mean, Gail_Rose and Trewsers! In the same way as we gals are used to monthly cycles I think confidence/nerves also has cycles. Maybe hormonal? Apart from the obvious ageing issues (older and wider, less bouncy and more concious of the 'what if's') there may be other reasons why everything's a worry one day and you can cope better, even confidently, the next.

Some days I worry from setting off in the car - will the pony be OK to catch? - can I successfully move the others from paddock to paddock? Will grooming, tacking up go OK? Is he going to go to fast for me? Will I bounce off why trying without stirrups? Everything!!

Another day I can cope fine with all the minor issues, feel fairly confident, and enjoy the schooling and so on. There no pattern I can find. One day I'll canter in the school, ride stirrups crossed (not canter yet, though, even on a good day!) and think about trying little jumps or maybe bareback.

Another day it'll be lots of trot work, no riding without stirrups and an early finish because I feel that's enough. I'm trying at the moment to 'tune in' more to my nerves. If I don't feel good about it, then I'll ease off and play safe. On a good day I can go for it - now I am in my 50's I feel less inclined to push myself for the sake of it.

I just wish I could stabilise the variety of nerves, and understand the physical, emotional and underlying reasons for the lack of confidence sometimes. I've been riding off and on for 40+ years, so you'd think I'd have got the hang of it by now!

 

[selside]

OK - so I'm not only a member of the 'lack of' Confidence Club, I'm also stupid. You mean confidence in strange situations - why can't I read? But yes, been there too. Once on holiday foolishy admitted I could ride and was put on the biggest, fastest horse in the yard. Everyone kept double-checking "You can ride can't you?". The alarm bells till didn't start, as he was quiet as a lamb hacking down to the off-road area. New part of the country - never ridden there before.
Once assembled they asked for groups to put hands up for: trotting, cantering, and jumping. Guess what I plumped for? What was I thinking of, on an overhorsed big ex-hunter! Needless to say was hauled round (3 times) a small cross country course, right on the tail of the lead horse. Tried short reins, longer reins, etc. all to no avail. Totally out of control. Enjoyed it, didn't fall off, but it was a bit wild, and I can't imagine why I thought I'd be able to do it, given all the warning signs were there.

 

[laceyfreckle]

I am my own worse enemy because I am competitive:help:

I lack a lot of confidence at home with riding and some days I will be better then others.

However take me to a show or any type of competitive thing and I will have no nerves whatsoever. This leads to interesting things like entering a 6" baby SJ class at a show and then ending up doing the 6", then 1ft then 1ft 6 and then 2ft classes:smoke:

It is really really annoying though.

Interestingly I am so much better at doing groundwork at home on my own then in say, a clinic so it's sort of the opposite there.

 

[annareeves0]

My confidence is all over the blooming show but Im currently riding the crest of a huge wave so going with it!
Rosie takes a lot of her confidence from me so in the past thats made for interesting riding! However, we have always found that the further from home and the more unknown the place, the better team Reeves performs :running:
I always think that when its just the two of us, out on our own in an unknown place we only have each other and are obliged to trust the other, and so we do!
Despite all the progress we have made over the last year and the fact that our rides are consistantly good now, we still cannot ride around our own farm! Too much water under the bridge, too close to home, within sight/sound of field mates, too many bad experiences to get past - I dont know but she is just spooky and jogs all the way - its no fun at all. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that :frown:
Middle of the new forest, no idea where we are, where we are going or how long its gonna take - we are 1 !!! :biggrin:

 

[Trewsers]

Selside, that would have been my nightmare!!!! lol, I have a bad dream that I am part of a hunt or cross country event and I am really scared! I cannot imagine how I have ended up there......
I always play down my ability with riding when visiting strange stables!!! So much so, that on one occasion the helper really almost put me on top of the horse manually!!! lol, I must have looked that old and rickety! hahahahhaha. I claimed it was a long time since I'd got on from the ground, well, that is what I was gonna say, but I think she mis-heard (we were approaching the mounting block) and thought I was going to struggle using even the block!! lol.