Feeling Mega Guilty

Hiya
Just want to say for what its worth i think you made the right decision, You made the choice to give him back for a valid reason he couldnt do what you wanted no matter how good he was elsewhere. I had many a horse like this one i most recently gave away after him spending years in the field and me never riding him , i still feel sad now but with all of them I made the right choice and who knows whats around the corner.
 
Thankyou, few days on and I know I made the right decision. This Arab
will always hold a special place in my heart, and I would love to find out down the line that he has found the perfect home and hopefully stays there, however ultimately I know that is not with me, I certainly had the love for him, but realistically not the time, or maybe even the knowledge it would need to help him over the problems with the traffic levels he would experience here with me.

I am still living in hope of a phone call from Ali to say he is grazing happily in one of her fields, although I won't be holding my breath on that one:eek:
 
read your post with interest, but didnt comment beause i had the same dilemma a couple of years ago, and never really resolved it, so didnt feel i could help you.
am glad you have made up your mind, and like me I am sure it is the right one.
never stops you wondering though ?
 
ow thankyou, I know I have made the right decision both for the Arab and for me:)

However it still hurts, I really had not got over sending him back in the first place, and could go on and on again about the reasons why, not to justify it to anyone else, but to myself I think:)

Its weird I have had and dealt with quite a few horses in my time, but for some strange reason, some stick in your minds forever and a day, and he will be one of them, to me he was one of the most beautiful horses I had ever seen, and the thought that he really did 'try' to cope with everything I put at him just makes me love him even more, and quite honestly more convinced that I did the right thing for him:)

Had I been able to 'bag' more time with him it may have been a different story, however, I couldn't. However, BluesMum, should my Auntie come up on the Pools this week:)
 
A quick update for anyone who is wondering. This beautiful Arab is still sat in a field in the Forest of Dean, and is apparently to be put 'on loan' yet again for a few months whilst 'the lady' goes walking.

She is still at this time adamant that she will not drop the price so that he can go back to Ali, and Ali is still saying she will not pay the full price to get him back, so it is a total stalemate, and one quite honestly I cannot quite get my head around. 'The lady' won't drop and Ali won't up the anti, what is that all about:confused:
 
Totally agree Blues Mum - am I right in thinking its a difference of £200? Surely the owner could make a concession?:confused:

Personally I would much rather sell the horse for less money, knowing he was going to someone who could offer him his ideal home, than risk selling him to someone who might not be able to cope and would sell him on again. Especially as the lady who has him now doesn't seem to describing him with total honesty.
 
Well, here I am back on same thread. Was hoping to have some news to tell you as somebody (shall remain nameless) from NR had Pm'd me for details and photos as may know someone who was interested. However have not heard anything back as yet so maybe it was not to be.

However I have taken my *** in hand tonite and e mailed the 'lady' to try and find out what is going on with the Arab and previous owner etc, if she intends to sell or keep out on loan.

Feel a bit cheeky really, cos I really do not think she thought my returning him was for him as much as anything, but will wait and see if I hear back from her.

Once again I will 'NOT' be holding my breath. But I cannot stand not knowing, just genuinely wanna know what is happening with him. I KNOW it is not really any longer my business, but cannot get him outta my head.
 
i no u feel bad, but if he wasnt right then, he wont b any better after having been moved to more new homes and back.
if u end up spending time and money u dont have, your other horse and u will miss out on your special time together.
its heartwrenching 4 u im sure, but u cant save them all, sadly

with regards to the other lady trying to purchase him, is it the actual price thats the problem with the owner or the fact that its this lady trying to buy him do u think?

i hope the story has a happy ending whatever u decide to do x
 
Thankyou, and quite honestly I really do not know what the problem is anymore. I was certain the previous owner was pretty desperate to have him back, but am quickly coming to the conclusion that I got that all wrong as well. I really cannot get my head around it. I bought him (with a trial period) for £2000. Now Ali (original owner) told me that she could neither afford or be willing to pay that, I won't go over all details again as already on this posting. However, price of Arab has now dropped to £1500, so where is the problem:confused: I know she would have liked to have paid around £1200 - £1300 but again all for the sake of £200.

I am usually a good judge of character and firmly believed she wanted him back. However, I am seriously beginning to doubt my judgement.

I don't know if there is more going on between these two than I originally thought or what? Genuinely cannot understand it.

Again, I know I made the right decision, I am not in the position to buy him back, my youngster needs loads of work, and again I do not have the time or the money.

Just wanna know where he is going or what is happening to him for my own peace of mind I guess, and to get rid of the guilt.:)
 
thank you for bumping fairlady, it has been a long and very interesting read. Sounds like you made the right decision, you have morse and he is yours and you have formed a bond.
Sounds like some sort of feud between "the lady" and ali :confused: if i were desperate to get a horse back i would find the extra £200, "the lady"obviously isn't budging on price as in her mind the price has already dropped... how odd.
 
if only it was as simple as just the price now Coss. This poor horse went out on loan yet again when I took it back, it then came back to the present owner and Ali and she were still discussing price etc, when he was advertised for sale again and went out on trial to a VERY VERY experienced horsewoman.

She had an absolute nightmare with him, he was bolshy in and out of the stable, she could not mount, and when she did he 'took off' with her. She had his back checked ok. Vet said he needed his Wolfteeth out as they were giving him problems and obviously that could be contributing to his behaviour. The 'loaner' contacted Ali and spoke at great lengths with her about all the problems she was having. The 'lady' (owner) was made aware of the problems but refused to drop the price, the loaner sent him back a few weeks ago and decided he was just too much work with his teeth, problems and the fact that she could not hack out on him. He has been advertised for sale again, talks between Ali and 'the lady' have totally broken down. Then I saw him on here with Cariadbach thinking of having him on trial. He apparently has hardly any mane or tail left and a bloodtest showed sweetitch, as far as I am aware his teeth still need sorting out, and he is a total danger on the roads.

WOW, this poor horse, this beautiful beautiful Arab, it breaks my heart:mad:
 
I also sort of understand where Ali is coming from to be fair, she sold a perfectly sound, fit and healthy hackable horse and feels that he has been totally ruined. She has made numerous attempts to buy him back and all have been rejected. She refuses to pay an extortionate amount for a horse that has now become a potential danger to someones life, and who can blame her.

As much as I would love to see this horse settled in a good caring home and having his problems dealt with, I could not let anyone on this board have either buy him or have him on trial without knowing his problems and the full potentials of the risks that they could be taking, I could not live with myself if anything happened especially as Cariadbach had been posting about the problems she had been having with her loan mare etc. He is not a family horse, he is not for a novice either, he needs someone very very experienced in dealing with these problems.

Just as well one person in his life has a conscience.:mad:
 
I hadn't read this thread before untill now. I can imagine how difficult the decision to not have him back was, but ultimately it seems you understood the huge commitments, time and danger involved- which I admire. Many would just leave on the rose tinted glasses.

It is unusual that the origional owner won't go up £200 for a horse she so desperately wants back, in my opinion.

Fairlady, I admire that you had the courage to make the decision and I really hope that the arab gets a great life in the quiet.

Gracex
 
fairlady said:
if only it was as simple as just the price now Coss. This poor horse went out on loan yet again when I took it back, it then came back to the present owner and Ali and she were still discussing price etc, when he was advertised for sale again and went out on trial to a VERY VERY experienced horsewoman.

She had an absolute nightmare with him, he was bolshy in and out of the stable, she could not mount, and when she did he 'took off' with her. She had his back checked ok. Vet said he needed his Wolfteeth out as they were giving him problems and obviously that could be contributing to his behaviour. The 'loaner' contacted Ali and spoke at great lengths with her about all the problems she was having. The 'lady' (owner) was made aware of the problems but refused to drop the price, the loaner sent him back a few weeks ago and decided he was just too much work with his teeth, problems and the fact that she could not hack out on him. He has been advertised for sale again, talks between Ali and 'the lady' have totally broken down. Then I saw him on here with Cariadbach thinking of having him on trial. He apparently has hardly any mane or tail left and a bloodtest showed sweetitch, as far as I am aware his teeth still need sorting out, and he is a total danger on the roads.

WOW, this poor horse, this beautiful beautiful Arab, it breaks my heart:mad:
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fairlady said:
I also sort of understand where Ali is coming from to be fair, she sold a perfectly sound, fit and healthy hackable horse and feels that he has been totally ruined. She has made numerous attempts to buy him back and all have been rejected. She refuses to pay an extortionate amount for a horse that has now become a potential danger to someones life, and who can blame her.

As much as I would love to see this horse settled in a good caring home and having his problems dealt with, I could not let anyone on this board have either buy him or have him on trial without knowing his problems and the full potentials of the risks that they could be taking, I could not live with myself if anything happened especially as Cariadbach had been posting about the problems she had been having with her loan mare etc. He is not a family horse, he is not for a novice either, he needs someone very very experienced in dealing with these problems.

Just as well one person in his life has a conscience.:mad:
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omg :mad: i can see where ali is coming from. it really does sound like her horse has been messed up :( all the trialing and loaning will have messed his head up. It is very good that you made the decision to leave him as it sounds like he is a dangerous horse who is only getting worse. I really hope he finds a home that will keep him safe and help him work though his problems. it is also great that you have warned people so they know the full story, the current owner obviously doesn't know how to help the horse and isn't going to give him a chance by the sounds of it :mad: really hope it works out for him. Please keep me (us) updated
 
The woman who had him on loan and found out about his wolfteeth is a very experienced horsewoman who does lots of endurance etc and really knows her horses. However this op was gonna cost about £300 - £400 and although she was willing to have the op done, obviously not at her own expense for a horse she had on trial. The '[lady' owner refused again to drop the price and even when Ali and I offered to make up the difference and repay the woman who had him on trial, she had had time to work with him a bit more by then and she was not interested as she felt 'the arab' had too many issues.

To hear 'the lady' owner talk about him you would think she loves and cares about him deeply but she obviously does not give a **** cos she just keeps dumping him off on people for a trial whilst she goes off 'walking' and does not seem to get to the route of the problem with him by either helping get him sorted or letting him go to a home that could help him at the correct amount of money to allow someone to sort his problems out, and whilst she is being, shall we say, less generous with the truth about him, that is not going to happen anyway. She seems to think he is worth xxx amount of £££'s and is burying her head in the sand about his 'issues'.
 
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