Feeling really down

Sparklie

Sparklie

Active Member
Jun 3, 2005
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hartlepool
I'm not really wanting advice I don't think (although if you want to give it I'm happy to Take it all on board) so this is pretty much a pointless thread but I need to have a bit of a vent. Apologies, this is probably going to be long.

Buzz has been here for nearly a month now and to be honest I think we're going backwards instead of forwards!! He's only 3 and a half and he's my first real youngster. I did share a 4 yr old with a friend previously who we rebroke in (after someone did a rubbish job) and worked with for our YO but this is my first proper project with a baby horse on my own.

He's moved from a tiny yard where he was out all day and only in at night. He was turned out with between one and three other horses and was on the owners own land so no noise or disruption. Now he's on a large yard which is always noisey and busy, turned out with large groups where he is bottom of the pecking order (obviously at the moment). He's in unless I turn him out and with the horrendous weather recently that means he's been in quite a lot!

I've not ridden as saddle fitter couldn't come out in this weather and have only attempted inhand schooling twice due to solid ground (and our indoor doors froze for a while so couldn't get in! lol). The first time he was fab (this was before the snow). He followed me, kept his distance and listening to me completely. Last time was in the snow and he was horrendous. Didn't respect my space, walked over me, snorted, trotted circles round me, barged etc.

I turned him out yesterday and he didn't drag me to the field but he was a bit rude and then when undoing his halter he shot off. This I can understand, he'd not had turnout for a few days. He was perfect to catch. Today it was awful, I turned him out in a small group but they all galloped over and scared him so he tried to pull away and panicked. He then panicked once I got him in the field due to the horses crowding around the gate and pulled away from me dragging halter and line through the mud. I know it was mostly fear but it was quite scary :( he came cantering over to see me when I caught him (he definately knows me!) causing the horses to crowd over again and it made him panic again :rolleyes: after I'd got his headcollar on and pulled away again as the others were bullying him. Again this I totally understand and don't blame him for. He then snorted and pranced back to the stables almost dragging me.

He's getting bad to groom too. He didn't used to respect my space in the stable but now he moves back when I ask and over when I ask. But grooming he gets in a strop! He was pawwing the ground today and would NOT stop. He lifts feet fine but raises legs as if to kick when I try to brush his rear end or back legs :( I'm having to be very patient with his leg straps too (he has only recently started wearing a rug) as he goes to kick. I just talk to him and work slowly and gently. He also swings his bum around when I do his rugs or try to groom, is he just bored?

Ok venting over.

I plan to start getting him turned out all day now that the weathers getting better and working on his groundwork as I think he simply doesn't respect me. Any thoughts? Words of encouragement? Telling me I've bitten off more than I can chew? I just feel rather useless at the moment!!

Big tub of ben and jerrys if you got to the end. Which is what my lovely boyfriend bought me to cheer me up
 
Aw, Hun, I think EVERYBODY is struggling a bit at the moment and having
two Youngsters myself I understand where you are coming from.

Just bear with it, Buzz is still very much 'the Baby' and has changed home is now having limited turnout and is as you say 'bottom' of the heap with the herd. Its a lot for a Youngster to take in, especially with the limited turnout. One thing I would say is be VERY firm with the
lifting of his leg to kick, if needed LIFT it and hold onto it whilst doing up his straps so he can't kick, he will soon learn its not at all acceptable.
Every time he attempts it tell him a FIRM 'NO', he will soon learn, sounds like he is 'testing' the water a bit and that shows you at
least have an 'intelligent' horse who is testing who stands where in the hierarchy, lol.
To be totally fair a MONTH is no time at all, I know I had Sioned much younger but I just sat in the field with her for the first 6 months, getting to know her and playing really.

Just hang in there, I know you haven't asked for advice but I feel a bit the
same, manners have slipped a bit with my two, in fact Sioned got a
slap today in the end because she kept trying to mug me and would not
listen, she totally knows better and was taking the proverbial 'P' to be honest, but she listened then, not that she felt
it anyway with her rug on, but she knew I meant business;)

Try to stick to the 'boundaries' keep calm when all around you is going to
pot and come the more 'sensible' weather and the Spring it will all
fall into place:)

Its HARD having a Youngster, so much not to be sure about, but you know what, everybody who has a Youngster has to have
the FIRST one, lol, just stick to what you want and be fair but firm, and accept no less, I think the problem is that sometimes
we make excuses for them and they are very 'clever' lol, far cleverer than we give them credit for. There are times they
genuinely don't understand and if you think it may be that try asking in a different way, you will get there I am sure of that.
Nothing seems quite so bad when the Sun is shining, lol.
 
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Must be something in the air for horses! Rusty has (generally) very good manners but in the last couple of weeks he has been trying to bite me when I lead him around the arena. I think it's just playful, but makes an already nervous owner, even more nervous.

So.... asked my RI today if we could have a lesson in groundwork and I feel so much better. He just needs to know where the boundaries are, and maybe that's all Buzz is trying to find out. Plus, he's probably still settling in and that's not helping.

I know this post hasn't been helpful, but I do sympathize and hope things get better for you both.
 
Thank you VERY much FL.

I'm amazed that you managed to read it all and not drop off before the end.

I know a lot of it is probably the weather. I'm still in contact regularly with his previous mum and she's encouraging me to be firm but fair. And to long line a few times before getting onboard to remind him what it's all about. To be truthful riding seems 100 years away right now!

I'm glad it's not just me having youngster manners issues right now. I just feel rather alone on my yard as I only know a few people and they all have older riding horses. I've only been there a few months so things are still new to me.

Tbaynancy, thank you too. Your post was helpful, it's just nice to know I'm not the only one! I hope your horse's ground manners improve now. I think if things don't improve in a few weeks after added turnout and better weather I'll be investing in a good instructer too
 
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If the other horses are crowding you spend some time getting Buzz used to having the rope swing around him and realise that firstly its not aimed at him and secondly that it isnt scarey in any way. Then when the other horses crowd you twirl your rope at them - this gets them out of your way and you also exhibit good leadership by him not having to worry about the others horses while you are around. When its you two then you are a herd of two with you as boss. Its a great way to keep everyone safe AND earn horsey brownie points :)
 
i think in a way he would have been a saint not to react in some way given how much his life has changed. he is clearly not settled yet, the weather is grim, he is banged up in a stable,and has excess energy and when he does get out he get bullied and chased for his troubles, and he is only a baby who is unsure of his place in the world. he's like a kid being bullied at school but who has no one to talk to about it. so he's taking it out on the only person he can - you.

he's having to stand up for himself in the herd, which he is not used to, and if he is being crowded by them when you are trying to do stuff with him, his reaction is perfectly understandable, he doesn't want to be picked on, he wants out of there. it's a bit like you took him from a nice little village where everyone knew each other and dropped him into a gangster estate - he sees danger and threats everywhere and he's not happy. and is having to deal with it on his own.

i would try to get him into another field with a small group i.e. one or two others. or try to find a much smaller yard where he will be less intimidated. he needs to find a pair bond to give him a bit more security.

i am sure his manners and stuff are mainly a reaction to feeling threatened and unsure - they will fix themselves by being firm but kind to him and giving him boundaries.

i personally would not be riding him anyway at the moment as he is too spooked to be listening to you.

some horses do not settle at certain yards - some like the rough and tumble of a busy yard, others just shrink. I had a pony who hated living with us as it was too quiet, he was used to busy yards and he was lonely and bored with us. it's not the pony's fault, we have to try to provide the home that suits them and maybe this has been just too big a change for him and you need to try to find an alternative that is a bit more homely for him. One month isn't very long, some horses take up to six months to settle, and he is an inexperienced baby.
 
I'm with diplomaticandtactful as she has covered all the ponits I was going to raise.

I think much of this isn't age related. A lot of what you describe would be exactly how my 9 year old would be given half the chance. She doesn;t like big yards and blossomed when I moved her to a small yard. She also hates being cooped up in a stable so I don't do that to her either.

Lastly, I too certainly would be considerig riding until everything was right on the ground, buts that's just my way. :)

In the meantime having sound boundaries and being consistent in them will make you a very stable influence he will come to rely on. I'd also work on your skills with others in the field. When I'm with horses I expect them to respect my space and let me take charge, even when in the herd. If he can see that happening he'll feel safer and it will further serve to reinforce in his mind that you are boss.

Good luck.
 
I'd just like to add to all the other advice and suggestions here that your OH deserves to share your Ben and Jerry's ice cream for being so thoughtful himself!

A month is very early days for your youngster, and he is still trying to find his way in the world, including where he stands with regards to all those other bigger, older, world-wise horses he's been put amongst. He's also still working out where you fit into that balance, so patience and trust is everything. The more reliable, reassuring and calm you are with him the better, but that's not to say you shouldn't be firm when necessary. He is still three, he does still need boundaries marked out for him. I am sure he will settle in time, when the weather improves, and you will have a lot of fun together :)
 
I think the weather probably isn't helping, most horses are a bit loopy (well, more than usual!) at the moment. Perhaps more turnout will help - but perhaps a quieter yard might be better? (Don't know if this is possible for you).
Most people will probably say that a busy, noisy yard will teach your horse lots - which it probably will, but if you are not happy handling him around all those other horses - and to be honest it can be a bit scary being in the thick of it, then its up to you. After all, we do it for enjoyment, and it shouldn't be something that gets us down all the time.
You say you don't know many people on the yard, might there be anybody you can try and befriend that could offer advice / help? Some people don't want to give their advice until approached. I'm sure things will improve when the weather does - am a great believer in the power of a night, calm, still clear day!!! (Our pair have horseonality transplants in the winter!!!! - and Joe is 19!!!! he obviously thinks he's still a baby!)
 
Thank you to everybody who has commented. I'll take it all on board, I think sometimes I just need someone to give me a shake and tell me to sort myself out. I also appreciate the encouragement. It's lovely having a big group of horsey knowledgable people to ask advice and support from.

Annareeves, I'll work on that. I think it's a really good idea. Obviously when I'm trying to discourage the others it's not exactly making him want to stay close to me at the moment. I was spoilt with my old pony who would tramp into the middle of the group with me and give his no messing face and they'd all scatter! He was also used to my flailing arms and shouting when shooing away the real bargey problem horses on our previous yard bless him.

Luna corona, he did buy himself a tub of ben and jerrys too to put up with the headache he knew I was going to give him! :o

Thank you for all my other advice everyone, especially d&t who always seems to spend time typing a helpful reply :)

Moving yards is not something I'm keen on doing. I moved from a less than wonderful yard to this one and although it's large the YO is lovely and tries really hard to help you out. If Buzz is not happy with being turned out with the others I may ask if he can go into a smaller group. At the moment we're on winter turnout so not sure if this will be possible but knowing YO he'll do his best. He does have some unbroken 3yr olds of his own so I wonder if it's worth asking if he could go out seperately with them?

I know the people in our stable block, it's the rest of the yard that I haven't really met properly yet. The people in our block are lovely and a few understand that I'm taking my time and letting him settle. Some people want to rush me into riding though so I'm keeping to myself on that one. I have a very good friend who's horse is stabled next to mine so she will turn Buzz out or bring him in if I ask and I do favours in return. She is also very supportive and takes no crap from either horse or rider having a wobbly attack!! Lol however she works nights and we're like ships that pass in the night at the moment. I think I'm missing that partnership with another horse and rider so hopefully we'll get some time together soon and then she'llbe more than happy to help me with Buzz.

Ok now update.
Today my lovely forementioned friend turned Buzz out first thing into the bigger group of horses. He was a star (her words not mine) to turn out and he seems happier in this group. They crowd the gate less as they're tougher horses that like being out in this weather and they play lots!! Buzz spends most of his time tormenting a poor Arab :rolleyes: he came to the gate tonight when I called and walked in calmly practising transitions on the way with him really listening.

We then did some groundwork in the school. We did walk, a few tiny bits of trot, lots of turning, halting and some backing up. He wasn't perfect but he did try quite well. Then I tied him up in his stable and groomed. I managed to groom him without him playing up at all. When I got near his rear end to a but he wasn't sure of I went back to a safe bit until he relaxed and then tried again. This seemed to work well. He also moved over when I asked with minimal tail swishing and angry looks.

So feeling a little better today. My lovely OH has offered to come and turn out with me before work in the morning just so that Buzz can have some turnout time again :D
 
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