thank you all, well I am mucked out, worked the three comtois, was going to ride Buddy but it is raining. So chucked him out and see if it clears up later on.
Suze gave me an extra special birthday present this morning, she was so good and attentive, accurate, responsive, it was one of those special moments when you realise how far you have come, and how much better she is. she just stood with her nose in my hands, sighing gently, totally at peace with the world. I have had the worst of times with her, when I have almost given up and been scared of her, but now we have the best of times, when she really gives herself up to you and trusts you completely. She is the one I have the deepest connection with - I love Bud to bits, but Suze gives me the most back, I think she understands now that she is in a good place and is safe.
I guess I'm not doing too bad for 58.....still got all my teeth, most joints still work reasonably well!