Horse just won't listen???

Surfingblonde

Surfingblonde

New Member
Jul 25, 2016
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Hi!
I share a horse (my first ever sharing and caring for a horse outside of a riding school) and he will not listen to me at all. I am never alone with him, as the owner and other people/liveries are usually at the yard but the owner is the definite herd leader. I feel so disheartened because the horse just isn't listening to me and I'm trying hard to be assertive and gain respect but feel like I'm failing, although he will listen to his owner as quick as anything and other people over me. The horse definitely tests me when I'm riding him (which is great experience for me but makes me feel a little disheartened and we're not getting anywhere) but on the ground he doesn't bat an eyelid to what I do, almost like he purposefully ignores me when I ask him do to something. I have a feeling he's already figured out what I'm going to be like and doesn't even bother with me. I'm starting to feel nervous around him and it's really damaging my confidence (he's a big lad). Does anyone have any tips to make him listen?
 
Plunge and bound and yell at him and make a REAL racket at his next bout of bad behaviour. You'll only have to do it once or twice
 
As Wally says - only dont do it with the owner near. I have been well and truly rebuked for my way of rebuking a horse. You can do it with body language too, but I suggest you take a NH lesson or two, or watch a demo or video on line of a good trainer teaching a horse to lead nicely and keep out of your space.
You make another point tho. That you are never alone with the horse. The owner is always there. I had the same problem in riding lessons and have a theory that there is a hierarchy. With the owner present the horse wont heed you because it understands that you (or me as a student) is lower in the pecking order than the teacher or owner is. When I helped on the yard or put my horse away after a lesson, I was left to get on with it all on my own and that was far better. That sorted it.
 
What exactly is the horse doing that makes you say he is not listening or respecting you? And in what way is he testing you when you are riding?
 
Skib said:
As Wally says - only dont do it with the owner near. I have been well and truly rebuked for my way of rebuking a horse. You can do it with body language too, but I suggest you take a NH lesson or two, or watch a demo or video on line of a good trainer teaching a horse to lead nicely and keep out of your space.
You make another point tho. That you are never alone with the horse. The owner is always there. I had the same problem in riding lessons and have a theory that there is a hierarchy. With the owner present the horse wont heed you because it understands that you (or me as a student) is lower in the pecking order than the teacher or owner is. When I helped on the yard or put my horse away after a lesson, I was left to get on with it all on my own and that was far better. That sorted it.
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I do feel it's because they are there. They demand complete respect from the horses and the yard is very small so they own all of the horses there and are very hands on! I think sharing was mainly to help with cost of the care! x
 
KP nut said:
What exactly is the horse doing that makes you say he is not listening or respecting you? And in what way is he testing you when you are riding?
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He walks away from me when I try to catch even though the owner can just call him over, he is perfect in the stable to groom however and to tack up. He also tries it on with little things such as eating grass when he knows is not allowed etc. I haven't been able to test his manners regarding meals yet as the owner does them. Whilst schooling, he tends to run away with you, even if you pull him back into line and tell him off he will keep trying it, I spend half my time trying to focus him back on the task at hand (which is in no way boring for the horse) and he just keeps going off, nothing malicious, he just takes off. He only Listens when the owner tells him off and tends to run towards them! I also had a little battle with him when hacking out alone where he just whipped around ready to go home and wouldn't turn around (I eventually won that one). He is very intelligent But I also feel very awkward going to town making a massive deal because his owner is right there and they have said some choice words about past people berating their horses, I'm also quite softly spoken so I have to really work to get my voice to the right level to actually work and he just ignores me completely.
 
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Surfingblonde said:
He walks away from me when I try to catch even though the owner can just call him over, he is perfect in the stable to groom however and tack up (I haven't been able to test his manners regarding meals yet as the owner does them). Whilst schooling, he tends to run away with you, even if you pull him back into line and tell him off he will keep trying it, I spend half my time trying to focus him back on the task at hand (which is in no way boring for the horse) and he just keeps going off. He only starts to listen when the owner tells him off and tends to run towards them! I also had a little battle with him when hacking out alone where he just whipped around ready to go home and wouldn't turn around (I eventually won that one). He is very intelligent!
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Persistence and bravery is probably the name of the game with this one, something I need more of too (actually just the latter would do me!)
 
orbvalley said:
Persistence and bravery is probably the name of the game with this one, something I need more of too (actually just the latter would do me!)
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Haha! Me too! He's not a small boy either which makes it ten times worse confidence wise! I'm still learning on the ground and caring for a horse so I'm pretty sure he senses it!
 
Well you are describing lots of different behaviours, none of which really seem to be about 'respect' or listening. I would not expect a horse who does not know me to walk over to me in the field. However once the headcollar was on I would expect it to follow at my shoulder and go at my speed. However there is no reason for the horse to know that is what I expect. I have to show him by correcting any deviation from that consistently.

As for running off - that's more about riding skills than respect. Some horses like moving faster than their riders particularly want and it is normally most effective to re-direct the energy than to try and stop the movement with a telling off. Try circling or serpentines in trot, loads of transitions, negotiating obstacles. Basically keeping his brain busy and also kind of saying 'fine you can move but then you have to move where I tell you to go'. Running towards the owner is not a behaviour I would want and suggests a lack of confidence in the horse. It does not suggest respect or 'listening'. Finally napping (being reluctant to go far from home) is also common and is also likely to be a confidence issue. Why should he trust you to take him unfamiliar and potentially dangerous places. (Dangerous in his mind). I'd build up more slowly to solo hacking. It is a big ask for a horse.

Much as I do not wish to disagree with @Wally I don't think any of the behaviours you describe would be helped by that approach!!! You had not described the behavoiurs when she replied - not sure whether she still stands by that advice. But personally I think you would make everything a lot worse by yelling and shouting. Horses do not owe you respect or trust. You need to behave in ways that lead the horse to trust you and respect you.
 
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I'd tend to agree, it sounds like the horse lack confidence and seeks it from his owner as his leader, you need to be clear, decisive, consistent and prove to him that you too are a worthy leader. Try not to be disheartened, that can take months, what has the owner said?
 
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KP nut said:
Well you are describing lots of different behaviours, none of which really seem to be about 'respect' or listening. I would not expect a horse who does not know me to walk over to me in the field. However once the headcollar was on I would expect it to follow at my shoulder and go at my speed. However there is no reason for the horse to know that is what I expect. I have to show him by correcting any deviation from that consistently.

As for running off - that's more about riding skills than respect. Some horses like moving faster than their riders particularly want and it is normally most effective to re-direct the energy than to try and stop the movement with a telling off. Try circling or serpentines in trot, loads of transitions, negotiating obstacles. Basically keeping his brain busy and also kind of saying 'fine you can move but then you have to move where I tell you to go'. Running towards the owner is not a behaviour I would want and suggests a lack of confidence in the horse. It does not suggest respect or 'listening'. Finally napping (being reluctant to go far from home) is also common and is also likely to be a confidence issue. Why should he trust you to take him unfamiliar and potentially dangerous places. (Dangerous in his mind). I'd build up more slowly to solo hacking. It is a big ask for a horse.

Much as I do not wish to disagree with @Wally I don't think any of the behaviours you describe would be helped by that approach!!! You had not described the behavoiurs when she replied - not sure whether she still stands by that advice. But personally I think you would make everything a lot worse by yelling and shouting. Horses do not owe you respect or trust. You need to behave in ways that lead the horse to trust you and respect you.
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Thank you! This makes more sense. I'm trying to get him to concentrate by keeping his mind busy when riding but I will put in some more circles and getting him to use his feet a little more! I have only been taking him a little ways from his home so I will start building that up and hopefully we can get somewhere! i'm feeling a lot more optimistic today as I'm seeing him again today so will be taking your advice into account!x
 
Jessey said:
I'd tend to agree, it sounds like the horse lack confidence and seeks it from his owner as his leader, you need to be clear, decisive, consistent and prove to him that you too are a worthy leader. Try not to be disheartened, that can take months, what has the owner said?
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Thank you! Makes me feel a little better! And they said he's practically the same with anyone which makes me feel ten times better aha. I think it's because they have already established themselves with him being the owner and like you said, will take me a lot longer to do so! X
 
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If he's walking away from you when you go to catch him it could be your body language, not him being naughty.
 
when my mare walks away, Ive found with her if I stop, and turn away slightly she will stop also. I can edge towards her without direct eye contact. With an old gelding I had to chase him away further sometimes until he couldnt be bothered to walk of any more! They are all so different and unique !
 
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KP nut said:
Much as I do not wish to disagree with @Wally I don't think any of the behaviours you describe would be helped by that approach!!! You had not described the behavoiurs when she replied - not sure whether she still stands by that advice. But personally I think you would make everything a lot worse by yelling and shouting. Horses do not owe you respect or trust. You need to behave in ways that lead the horse to trust you and respect you.
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Perhaps I did not explain it very well.

If a horse barges over me, walks through me, invades my space etc, I plunge and bound and do exactly what an alpha mare would do, Only need to do it once, then a look and a turn of the shoulders is enough,

Al alpha mare will scream at a subordinate who oversteps the mark, She'll only land blows in extreme circumstances. One loud and demonstrable reaction to bad manners is all you generally need , then you can just use subtle actions. If you find yourself yelling and shouting every day you are doing it wrong
 
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Wally said:
Perhaps I did not explain it very well.

If a horse barges over me, walks through me, invades my space etc, I plunge and bound and do exactly what an alpha mare would do, Only need to do it once, then a look and a turn of the shoulders is enough,

Al alpha mare will scream at a subordinate who oversteps the mark, She'll only land blows in extreme circumstances. One loud and demonstrable reaction to bad manners is all you generally need , then you can just use subtle actions. If you find yourself yelling and shouting every day you are doing it wrong
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KP nut said:
I do the same but OP did not describe barging etc.
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That sounds so good for a bargy horse, however mine doesn't barge, he's as good as gold in that respect! I think he's just a very playful personality so you always need to be on your toes with him and gain respect. Thank you for the advice! X
 
Personally it sounds like you are being too soft with him, I may well be wrong but I get the feeling that you perhaps feel a little bit intimidated by his owner and her mates always being around when you are with him, my horse is a doll, soft as butter and really good, but if she can sense you don't mean business she can and will take things into her own hands as it were, it sounds like he needs you to step up and take control and that could be why he appears to have no respect for you. What does his owner suggest you do? After all she knows him better than anyone else.
 
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