In a dilemma :(

C

Christie442

New Member
Jun 28, 2010
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I`ve had Rocco now for 5 weeks and he seems to be getting more and more spooky. He spooks in the sand school and out on hacks and I`m beginning to lose what confidence I had. I `ve had my first lesson at the yard and it went reasonably well but I`m putting off getting on him again when I`m on my own.

I have him on a calmer, Relax Me, he`s been on it now for almost 2 weeks.
I`m on the verge of selling him. He was supposed to be bombproof and I`m sure with his previous owner he was but definately not with me.

On the ground he`s a sweetheart and I love him dearly, am I being to quick to judge him, do you think he can change?

I just want to feel safe on him :(
 
5 weeks is a short time for everything a horse knew to be uprooted and changed hun *hugs*

I would go back to basics, in hand walks, ground manners, games etc hyst spending time together - he doesnt know how you need to be looked after, or how to translate what you mean - he has a new language to learn in communication... and so do you!!! :(

It is hard, but start small with simple goals - lots of us have or our there and always happy to be a shoulder :D check out flipos mums blog and annareevees00 diary of rosie to... :)
 
I understand how difficult it maybe to feel that you are losing confidence with him ridden. I think there maybe an element of getting to know each other and bond. He needs to feel he can look to you for reassurance and the 'its ok' that he may need in these scary situations in a new home. Maybe working on the ground more with him and taking time out to just spend time with him while you make the initial bond. I would not beat yourself up, just give yourselves time. Abby is literally bombproof with me riding, but i have had her 5 years and it was not always like that. Put her in a testing situation without me/different rider she will be completely different. She knows that when i say its ok and push her on that it is, but thats because we trust each other. I cant speak for everyone and i would say give him time and you, but if you really feel he is not right for you and you are losing confidence then re-think, go with your gut feeling. Wishing you luck, and hope that may help you feel a bit better :wink:
 
Have you had anyone else ride him for you? I bought my boy as a bombproof hack and had my confidence almost annihilated (sp?!) by our experiences. In retrospect I thought he would look after me when in truth he needed me to look after him. We've done alot of groundwork, despooking, and I had him sent away for retraining. The verdict from the trainer was that he's insecure and takes his confidence from his rider. I didn't instill confidence in him and our situation totally broke down. I've watched him being ridden beautifully and he doesn't bat an eyelid at anything (except sheep and cattle?!) Now I'm working on our relationship and its a long road but it sounds like you may be able to stop it getting as bad as my situation did. I now see that I've got to prove I'm trustworthy for my horse so lots of groundwork, schooling, in hand walks and cuddles.
This is just my experience and obviously doesn't mean that your situation is the same but maybe worth a try. Good luck.:wink:
 
I have had Ace for 6 weeks now, and i would say in the past 2 he has changed, little buggar! Little barges, little nips, not standing when i go to mount, little spins when out hacking. He has changed and the farrier saw the difference in him too. He is finding himself i reckon from being a RS pony for so many years, to just having me (poor sod). I spoke to my instructor yesterday about it, as she has known him all through his rs career, and as soon as he saw her he just stood there tied up, whereas lately with me his is going left going right oh look at that straw and hay i want it, turning round!! And she said now he knows it is just the 2 of us, he is starting to look for confidence from me, on the ground and when riding. So what i am trying to say, i know for me it is way too soon, and am going to be giving me and him a year to suss each other out. In your case as it is mainly riding, i would do ground work, lunging and carry on having lessons, as i had mine yesterday and for the first time i felt that we had gelled together and was working as one. It will boost your confidence and his in you! x
 
There was a fab article in one of the horse mags a few months ago about this. To help with despooking you basically took the horse into the school with his bridle on and walked about. Every time you want to stop, you expect the horse to stop beside you. Obviously they dont at the start so you just keep on changing direction till they get the hang of it. After about half an hour of this you have a calm horse looking to you for direction. After a few days of this you can then start getting back on and doing the same thing - walking around and changing direction regularly, starting and stopping till your horse is listening to you.

It really does work!

Loads of us have been there - after 20 years riding (including competing) I ended up back on the lead rein with my young cob:eek:. Now we are (more or less) solid but he needed me to be confident then he was confident.

Do loads of groundwork, there is a great book called 101 horsemanship exercises by Rio Barret that is fab and gives loads of great ideas to let you build your bond again.

Most important thing is not to panic - this is normal! Yes really, loads of us have been there and we are all coming out the other side but it takes time - you cant rush it. Ignore all the folks that say just get on and slap him or whatever. Dont be pushed!

Stop panicking, relax and trust us - you'll get there if you just keep taking baby steps:D. And I promise you, you'll have a much better bond at the end of it:D
 
It's par for the course when you buy a horse that they start to act up a few weeks after you buy them, it's due to the horse arriving in a new 'herd' and trying to assess the pecking order, if he thinks he can get away with it, he'll try for top spot and you get biting, kicking, barging, napping, spooking at everything and all other sorts of bad behaviour for days or weeks while the battle for dominance continues.

My horse went through this 'teenage tantrum' phase a few weeks after I bought him - and I didn't even move him to a new yard! - things got really rough and after posting about it on NR I tried Join Up, which worked!

So don't give up, a horse is a horse, with a brain, eyes, ears, a nose and a personality, you can't remove it from what was familiar [in it's previous home] and expect it to behave perfectly, it needs to adjust to the new sights, sounds and smells (remember horses are prey animals and assume everything it sees, hears and smells is going to try to eat it!). You and your horse need to get used to each other - it's like any new relationship, you need to learn each other's quirks and likes and dislikes.

My horse looks like he's attacking me when he greets me, but he's not, for some strange reason he likes to say "hello mammy" by opening his mouth and gnawing on my hand, he doesn't actually bite me, he just rubs his teeth on my skin... I took the time to study his body language and accept that this is what he does, and let him do it, rather than slapping and shouting at him (which only made him angry - and then he would bite me!)


"hello, how are you?"
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So don't give up just yet, spend time with your horse and get to know him and let him get to know you!
 
I agree with what everyone else has said - forget riding for now, build up your trust in each other by doing loads and loads of groundwork, going for walks in hand and anything else you can think of.

I have the same issues as most on here - can do anything on the ground and she trusts me 100% but get me in the saddle and things just go pear shaped because she needs the same reassurance as when we're on ther ground and I just can't give it, so I have someone we both trust walking with me whenever I ride.

It'll take time, but if he's your forever horse, what's a few months out of a lifetime together?
 
Thank you all so much for your replies. I `ve been very busy so haven`t been online for a while.

I went out last Sunday with a friend and her daughters. They share a lovely calm highland, she walks and her daughters take turns at riding so she walked along side us and he was good.

Had a lesson in the school Thursday, no probs but today we were in the school for about 30 mins, about 20 mins into our schooling, just doing transitions and turn, he suddenly spooked for no reason, too off, and I ended up head first into the school fence. :furious: He had passed the same area for 20 mins and nothing had changed. Anyway I got back on him and continued so I was pleased that I managed to do that.

But anyway, you`re all right, I need to givbe us both time. I`ll definately try walking him in the school with his bridle on tomorrow and I`ll read all the blogs. It really does help to hear others experiences, thank you :)
 
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