Is this advert rubbish??

S

stressy

New Member
Apr 22, 2009
1,492
0
0
sunderland
FOR SALE: 16.2hh Chunky type bay TB gelding, 10 years old, full Wetherbys passport. Good to shoe. handle, catch, no vices. Sensitive and responsive ride so needs an EXPERIENCED RIDER, no novices. Been used mainly for schooling and hacking. Hacks out alone or in company with experienced rider. Has raced so would be eligiable for ROR classes. All vaccinations up to date. Comes with all tack and rugs. Sad sale so please no novices/ loans/ timewasters. £1.5k

Do I need to change it?
 
stressy said:
FOR SALE: 16.2hh Chunky type bay TB gelding, 10 years old, full Wetherbys passport. Good to shoe. handle, catch, no vices. Sensitive and responsive ride so needs an EXPERIENCED RIDER, no novices. Been used mainly for schooling and hacking. Hacks out alone or in company with experienced rider. Has raced so would be eligiable for ROR classes. All vaccinations up to date. Comes with all tack and rugs. Sad sale so please no novices/ loans/ timewasters. £1.5k

Do I need to change it?
Click to expand...

sounds ok to me but i prob wouldnt put the experienced rider bit in capitals....
 
I know this may sound obvious because you say he's been used for hacking and will hack alone or in company but I would also state whether he is good in traffic.

I'd be looking at him myself if I was in a position to have a horse again!!
 
Why does he need an experienced rider? The fact that you've said it twice (including once in capitals) is very off-putting - you may as well write "fire-breathing, psychopathic, mental-horse". Also repeating no vices makes me wonder if he does have some for them to be at the forefront of the advert writer's mind ;) The ad doesn't say whether he's competed, what level he schools at and what he's like when hacking.

Something like this would be better (IMHO):

FOR SALE: 16.2hh 10 year old bay TB gelding. (insert name) is an ex-racer (state how many times he raced and why he retired from racing) and has a full Wetherbys passport. He is good to shoe, handle, catch, (load?) and has no vices (stable or ridden?). He is a sensitive and responsive ride and although he has been used mainly for schooling and hacking, he has the quality to do will in ROR showing classes (anything else he'd be good at?). He hacks out alone or in company (and will go in front or behind? Is he spooky?). All his vaccinations are up to date and he is for sale with all his tack and rugs. This is a sad sale so please no novices/loans/timewasters. £1.5k
 
I think Dollys Mum's version reads better, though I think I'd leave it at ex-racer & let people ask if they want to know more of his track history.

I think you over-emphasize the experienced rider/no novices bit, it would put me off even ringing. Say once that he'd suit an experienced rider or that he's not a novice ride & leave it at that.
 
I would just state that he is an ex racehorse (flat or chasing?), retired sound or through injury, who has been retrained but not novice ride. State what his general points are...loading, shoeing, handling, clipping, hacking , traffic etc. what you have done with him, does he jump, has he been shown, hunted etc

If he is of a quality to do ROR classes provide some evidence of his successes or state he is unshown to date but is unblemished, has no major conformational faults and is schooled to show level.
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back