Wow, I wouldn't have got on if I knew the horse had only been broken four months - hats off to you. Onwards and upwards, starting to look like you could write a book on the whole experience!
Latest disaster!!
- Thread starter ladywiththebaby
- Start date
In passing - I knew she had bought her fairly recently and she was 'doing a bit with her' before selling her to a better home, but she just slipped into conversation that they had broken her to ride, which set alarm bells ringing so I asked how long ago that was! And I'm not brave riding a recently broken horse - just totally naive!! I won't do it again!! Plus they kept telling me how the mum has only been riding 3 years, she grips up and she's fine, and if you felt wobbly Meg would most likely stop. You won't find a quieter horse. And I just believe everything people tell me! :banghead:
I don't know much about Criollos but I don't really worry too much about what breed it is - a laid back approach to life and its ability to make me feel safe is much more important! But no - I could never go any bigger than 15h - I'd get vertigo!!!
where are you based? there's a lovely mare for sale at the yard i'm on
I'm in Cambridge so not very local!
Oh and HappyHacker - I don't think the lady at the RS will be much help as she gets horses from a dealer, keeps them a week or so and sells them on. I take confidence from the owner (rightly or wrongly!!) telling me all about the horse and I just won't get that from a weeks worth of history.
But thanks as ever guys. My knee is actually feeling a lot better after the whole RICE procedure - and a whole load of chocolate :wink: I just have a very impressive egg shaped lump and graze!
Shame the lady at the RS wont be a good contact. Instead of telling the owners what you are looking for when you call, turn the tables around and say "tell me about your horse" let them do the talking and listen and pick out the bits that are relevant to you! People will tell you what they "think" you want to hear, so be very careful what you say.
See, I told you you were brave!
Keep up with the RICE, use ice again tomorrow if it is still sore.
And go on patting yourself on the back :wink:
Keep up with the RICE, use ice again tomorrow if it is still sore.
And go on patting yourself on the back :wink:
What is it your telling the sellers that they are not listening to?
If your wanting a quiet confidence giver to help you build confidence i can't see why they'd try and get you to view a pony who has only been ridden four months.
When i lost confidence i booked a lesson at a riding school and said the horse that's the next fastest up from the totally dead ploddy one who only breathes sometimes! Then when i got my confidence back and started viewing horses, i said similiar. I want to gain confidence on something that's been there and done it. I got an elderly semi retired mare, she was a tb so i still had things to learn from her but she wasn't a nutcase or green.
If your wanting a quiet confidence giver to help you build confidence i can't see why they'd try and get you to view a pony who has only been ridden four months.
When i lost confidence i booked a lesson at a riding school and said the horse that's the next fastest up from the totally dead ploddy one who only breathes sometimes! Then when i got my confidence back and started viewing horses, i said similiar. I want to gain confidence on something that's been there and done it. I got an elderly semi retired mare, she was a tb so i still had things to learn from her but she wasn't a nutcase or green.
I think the problem might be that alot of people don't really know how it feels to have lost confidence until they've experienced it themselves. To the seller the horse could be a confidence giver - but if they've never lost their confidence then they don't know. I asked about this a while ago - could someone sell a horse on thinking, innocently, that they are a good confidence giver suitable for nervous riders?
I would use newforest's very powerful description of what she was looking for! It might get the message across. I also like HH101's advice, asking them to describe the horse first so as not to just answer yes to your questions.
Actually it seems that if the blessed pony hadn't kicked you all would have been well.Lets list the good points 1/ you've ridden & got under control a green horse 2/ the injury was nothing to do with either you or the mare 3/ you've been carted & come back ok ( well apart from your poor knee :wink: ) . Obviously the woman selling the mare is simple minded ,she hadn't even got the mare cantering in the school & you'd stated what you were looking for so it would be quite clear the mare was unlikely to be it. Please bear in mind that most ponies & horses don't kick at another horse if passed,in fact it seems that manners are low on the list as far as that family is concerned 
.All told it was a learning experience & you've just past another landmark in your horse education. Hopefully the next one will be more the ticket good luck,chin up that girl :smile:
.All told it was a learning experience & you've just past another landmark in your horse education. Hopefully the next one will be more the ticket good luck,chin up that girl :smile:
You were very brave. I can't believe you got on her after watching the owner ride her! I hope your knee gets better soon although it might feel worse tomorrow. (Thats what always seems to happen to my injuries!) Thank goodness you have only been bruised. Perish the thought if the kick had hit your shin at the wrong angle. The owner was rather irresponsible to take out a nutty ned to accompany you.
I agree with some of the others. Maybe its an idea to have a break from looking for something to buy and have a few lessons or pleasure hacks and just enjoy riding without all the pressure of trying to find the horse for you.
I agree with some of the others. Maybe its an idea to have a break from looking for something to buy and have a few lessons or pleasure hacks and just enjoy riding without all the pressure of trying to find the horse for you.
Thanks guys! My knee is a delightful puffy shade of purple, but it could have been a lot worse! I've been very lucky in that the pony got me in the soft bit below my knee cap so a bit higher or lower and something would have broken 
I'm trying to reframe it a bit this morning, as many of you have helped me to do (and especially Jane over the phone just after it happened!). It could have been a lot worse. I really did yelp and swear a LOT when it happened and that could have scared her and she could have taken off with me and tried to ditch the noisy person on top too, but she didn't, so she was a good girl really. Just not for me because I want something a bit more tried and tested.
The owners were lovely but like you say I just don't think they are all that well qualified for the job (A mum who has only been riding 3 years and a teenage daughter - although kudos to them both as they are both a lot braver than me!!). They kept saying how the mum wasn't a great rider but she really takes care of her, you won't find a quieter pony, she won't tank off, she'd rather stop etc etc and I just don't think they considered how long she'd been broken to be an issue. As I've said, I'm easily convinced and had travelled over an hour again so thought I'd at least give it a try. If I'd sat on her and she felt on edge or worried I wouldn't have attempted to do anything other than walk.
I only reply to adverts that mention 'confidence giving' (which I take with a pinch of salt because I really think Flipos mums post about confidence givers is a really good point - you might think your horse wouldn't worry about having a nervous rider on board, but unless you are one, with the wobbly legs, grippiness and various other things, then you can't really say). The first question I ask the seller is "would you consider your pony to be confidence giving?" and wait for them to give me examples as to why they do. I then start telling them that I am an adult rider who has lost her confidence due to 2 loan horses last year. So, now I'm looking for something to help build me back up. I ask how forward going they consider their horse (before I say I dont want something hugely forward going). But yes I may pinch some examples from NewForest! :wink:
I just wish you saw more older horses on the market, but everything seems to be younger than 10. Where are all the older ones hiding?!
I'm getting seriously tempted by a weekend in Ireland like somebody suggested before (will have to re-read last thread)! Although if Cortrasna can't find one out there I probably won't have much different luck either! I hope she has a better day today than me! Fingers crossed for her!
I'm trying to reframe it a bit this morning, as many of you have helped me to do (and especially Jane over the phone just after it happened!). It could have been a lot worse. I really did yelp and swear a LOT when it happened and that could have scared her and she could have taken off with me and tried to ditch the noisy person on top too, but she didn't, so she was a good girl really. Just not for me because I want something a bit more tried and tested.
The owners were lovely but like you say I just don't think they are all that well qualified for the job (A mum who has only been riding 3 years and a teenage daughter - although kudos to them both as they are both a lot braver than me!!). They kept saying how the mum wasn't a great rider but she really takes care of her, you won't find a quieter pony, she won't tank off, she'd rather stop etc etc and I just don't think they considered how long she'd been broken to be an issue. As I've said, I'm easily convinced and had travelled over an hour again so thought I'd at least give it a try. If I'd sat on her and she felt on edge or worried I wouldn't have attempted to do anything other than walk.
I only reply to adverts that mention 'confidence giving' (which I take with a pinch of salt because I really think Flipos mums post about confidence givers is a really good point - you might think your horse wouldn't worry about having a nervous rider on board, but unless you are one, with the wobbly legs, grippiness and various other things, then you can't really say). The first question I ask the seller is "would you consider your pony to be confidence giving?" and wait for them to give me examples as to why they do. I then start telling them that I am an adult rider who has lost her confidence due to 2 loan horses last year. So, now I'm looking for something to help build me back up. I ask how forward going they consider their horse (before I say I dont want something hugely forward going). But yes I may pinch some examples from NewForest! :wink:
I just wish you saw more older horses on the market, but everything seems to be younger than 10. Where are all the older ones hiding?!
I'm getting seriously tempted by a weekend in Ireland like somebody suggested before (will have to re-read last thread)! Although if Cortrasna can't find one out there I probably won't have much different luck either! I hope she has a better day today than me! Fingers crossed for her!
I just don't believe this..well actually I do. People are so desparate to sell sometimes I think they actually convince themselves that their fantasies about the horse are true.
Mine was an ex driving pony. Very much as you describe. She did have some intensive professional schooling which solved a lot of problems and is well worth considering if you find a driving pony that you really like, although her canter work in a school is still not brilliant and not being a particularly able rider I haven't been much help.
You did really well though LWTB. You stayed on in a really difficult situation on a young horse and I am so sorry you got kicked, that pony should never have been used as an escort for a young horse and yourself.
When I was searching I ended up going for lessons as well. Find yourself a really good instructor and explain your goal. You need somewhere that will really build your confidence and use a variety of different mounts to progress you. I found a RS actually took some of the pressure off. I felt I was still progressing whilst I was still searching. It's worth going out for hacks with your RS as well to get used to riding different horses in open country don't just stick in the school all the time.
Mine was an ex driving pony. Very much as you describe. She did have some intensive professional schooling which solved a lot of problems and is well worth considering if you find a driving pony that you really like, although her canter work in a school is still not brilliant and not being a particularly able rider I haven't been much help.
You did really well though LWTB. You stayed on in a really difficult situation on a young horse and I am so sorry you got kicked, that pony should never have been used as an escort for a young horse and yourself.
When I was searching I ended up going for lessons as well. Find yourself a really good instructor and explain your goal. You need somewhere that will really build your confidence and use a variety of different mounts to progress you. I found a RS actually took some of the pressure off. I felt I was still progressing whilst I was still searching. It's worth going out for hacks with your RS as well to get used to riding different horses in open country don't just stick in the school all the time.
So sorry you had yet another awful experience.
I really rate older horses. We had our rising 18 year old 14.2hh HW stunning absolute confidence giving ride & drive mare literally snapped up - but she was sold for over (certainly your original) budget. She was coming up 18 but sailed through her 5 stage vetting & I'm sure will go on for many years yet. She travelled up to her lovely new home in Scotland 2 weeks ago - arriving chilled & happy after 3 days "on the road" (with overnight rest stops). These horses really are out there so please don't lose hope.
Do hope you find your perfect partner soon.
I really rate older horses. We had our rising 18 year old 14.2hh HW stunning absolute confidence giving ride & drive mare literally snapped up - but she was sold for over (certainly your original) budget. She was coming up 18 but sailed through her 5 stage vetting & I'm sure will go on for many years yet. She travelled up to her lovely new home in Scotland 2 weeks ago - arriving chilled & happy after 3 days "on the road" (with overnight rest stops). These horses really are out there so please don't lose hope.
Do hope you find your perfect partner soon.
The gold nuggets are out there, you just have to keep looking..
My first horse was a 15.2 Hanoverian x Tb, just turned 13, and had spent the last 5 years as a brood mare. As a youngster, she'd tried to jump a fence and damaged her foot, causing ringbone.. this never bothered her in the two years I owned her, I only sold her on, because I was ready for something that could jump, as she wasn't able to, it might have set off her old injury..
She was the quietest, sweetest mare I have ever know, she never bit, kicked, gave a grumpy face, she always greeted me everyday by throwing her head up and down, a bit like black beauty does in the film with Sean Bean in, and neighing at me, excitedly.
She'd been taught dressage in the past, so knew some moves, I just wasn't good at them, so never really called upon her to do them. She was also a very patient horse, and that surprised me with her breeding an all..
A good seller, may offer you on loan with view to buy, I strongly recommend this, if they don't offer, ask to find out if they will. Along with a 5 star vetting, this will give you a window of up to 12 months to get to know the horse, and decide whether he/she is right for you. I'd say a minimum of 3 months would be enough.
My first horse was a 15.2 Hanoverian x Tb, just turned 13, and had spent the last 5 years as a brood mare. As a youngster, she'd tried to jump a fence and damaged her foot, causing ringbone.. this never bothered her in the two years I owned her, I only sold her on, because I was ready for something that could jump, as she wasn't able to, it might have set off her old injury..
She was the quietest, sweetest mare I have ever know, she never bit, kicked, gave a grumpy face, she always greeted me everyday by throwing her head up and down, a bit like black beauty does in the film with Sean Bean in, and neighing at me, excitedly.
She'd been taught dressage in the past, so knew some moves, I just wasn't good at them, so never really called upon her to do them. She was also a very patient horse, and that surprised me with her breeding an all..
A good seller, may offer you on loan with view to buy, I strongly recommend this, if they don't offer, ask to find out if they will. Along with a 5 star vetting, this will give you a window of up to 12 months to get to know the horse, and decide whether he/she is right for you. I'd say a minimum of 3 months would be enough.
Hugs and a lorry load of ice en route to you, with some chocolate and wine.
Ok. Time to draw the line here. Been there done that body breaks very easily. You need to sit down and really think about what you need in a pony.
You are really worrying me. You sound such an honest and lovely lady who really wants a pony friend. But you are in a shark pit without enough spears. I know exactly what you are feeling, and remember being eaten alive by the sharks.
I ended up buying from a shark, staying there at livery (dont ask) and learnt far to much about their tricks.
1. Size- Dont bother calling to big or too small
2. Ponies experience- Dont bother calling newly broken, green, needs condident rider, no can be sharp, loves to hunt....... ads
3.Age- No under 8's and if you go for an oldie be very aware they do get sick
4.Type- no arabs, no mad TB's etc
5. Price- dirt cheap often means a problem
6. Location- not to far for you to travel more than once to view
7. Dealer or Private- both imho are as good/bad as each other
At the viewing
If you get a feeling or the seller wont hop on- walk away
If the pony bucks into canter or is silly- walk away
If there is no one of the sellers to ride the pony- walk away
If the pony is a bit sweaty or without water when you arive- it could be drugged.
Dont hack out on any pony you have not riden in a safe area
ASk a million and 1 questions
When was it last ridden
Do you need to sedate to clip/shoe
When did pony last see vet
Ever been lame
lami
live in/out
Hack out alone
load and travel
been to parties
What do you feed it, any supliments.......
If pony A passes your own tests , walk away. Say you will call. Then think and call. Book a second visit. Do it all again. Get a friend to video. Turn up early for a 2nd viewing or late. (messes up sedation nicely)
Please dont allow your confidence to get any lower. I wish I was nearer, Id love to help. Im a seller/dealers nightmare!
You deserve the best pony out there, and it is. Its waiting for you.
Ok. Time to draw the line here. Been there done that body breaks very easily. You need to sit down and really think about what you need in a pony.
You are really worrying me. You sound such an honest and lovely lady who really wants a pony friend. But you are in a shark pit without enough spears. I know exactly what you are feeling, and remember being eaten alive by the sharks.
I ended up buying from a shark, staying there at livery (dont ask) and learnt far to much about their tricks.
1. Size- Dont bother calling to big or too small
2. Ponies experience- Dont bother calling newly broken, green, needs condident rider, no can be sharp, loves to hunt....... ads
3.Age- No under 8's and if you go for an oldie be very aware they do get sick
4.Type- no arabs, no mad TB's etc
5. Price- dirt cheap often means a problem
6. Location- not to far for you to travel more than once to view
7. Dealer or Private- both imho are as good/bad as each other
At the viewing
If you get a feeling or the seller wont hop on- walk away
If the pony bucks into canter or is silly- walk away
If there is no one of the sellers to ride the pony- walk away
If the pony is a bit sweaty or without water when you arive- it could be drugged.
Dont hack out on any pony you have not riden in a safe area
ASk a million and 1 questions
When was it last ridden
Do you need to sedate to clip/shoe
When did pony last see vet
Ever been lame
lami
live in/out
Hack out alone
load and travel
been to parties
What do you feed it, any supliments.......
If pony A passes your own tests , walk away. Say you will call. Then think and call. Book a second visit. Do it all again. Get a friend to video. Turn up early for a 2nd viewing or late. (messes up sedation nicely)
Please dont allow your confidence to get any lower. I wish I was nearer, Id love to help. Im a seller/dealers nightmare!
You deserve the best pony out there, and it is. Its waiting for you.
I wrote you an essay after that lovely mare you rode. I didnt post it - but now I will. I agree I wouldnt get on a horse that had only just been broken to ride - but let's think about the mare.
For what it is worth, that's me. I like it that the horses I ride most often do react just on a thought. But I make them like that. In other words we can teach horses to be as reactive as we choose.
And it is probably equally possible to train a horse not to react to so little. The horse may well have been taught to react as she did ? Which could suggest she is trainable and intelligent?
Horses that react to next to nothing are not necessarily unsafe.
The same horse can be ridden in both modes. My share horse can go into solid aid mode for kids riding lessons. When I get on her some days she is very light and reacts to tiny aids, offers me trot and canter almost before I ask. Other days she is an old plod. It depends who has been riding her the day before.
If the prospective mare you visited was too whizzy even for the girl showing you the horse, do you think the girl herself got more speed than she wanted? If so, one must ask what the horse had been fed on?
Was the energy the result of special feeding to jazz up a horse being shown for sale? People do things to horses for sale to liven them up. I've also known a seller take a horse on a fast hack or exercise in the school before a viewing, to get the horse loosened up and over-excited.
But all the horses in our RS will walk off, as you describe - we simply arent allowed to kick them.
I am not suggesting that you buy this horse if you didnt feel safe - but that if you go to see another that responds to light aids there is another way of thinking about it. That she has been trained for an old lady who wants to ride with as little physical effort as possible. I always make that assumption when I get on a horse and if you are expecting the horse to move off on a thought, then it isnt frightening.
And your latest exploit suggests you are a more confident rider than you think.
For what it is worth, that's me. I like it that the horses I ride most often do react just on a thought. But I make them like that. In other words we can teach horses to be as reactive as we choose.
And it is probably equally possible to train a horse not to react to so little. The horse may well have been taught to react as she did ? Which could suggest she is trainable and intelligent?
Horses that react to next to nothing are not necessarily unsafe.
The same horse can be ridden in both modes. My share horse can go into solid aid mode for kids riding lessons. When I get on her some days she is very light and reacts to tiny aids, offers me trot and canter almost before I ask. Other days she is an old plod. It depends who has been riding her the day before.
If the prospective mare you visited was too whizzy even for the girl showing you the horse, do you think the girl herself got more speed than she wanted? If so, one must ask what the horse had been fed on?
Was the energy the result of special feeding to jazz up a horse being shown for sale? People do things to horses for sale to liven them up. I've also known a seller take a horse on a fast hack or exercise in the school before a viewing, to get the horse loosened up and over-excited.
But all the horses in our RS will walk off, as you describe - we simply arent allowed to kick them.
I am not suggesting that you buy this horse if you didnt feel safe - but that if you go to see another that responds to light aids there is another way of thinking about it. That she has been trained for an old lady who wants to ride with as little physical effort as possible. I always make that assumption when I get on a horse and if you are expecting the horse to move off on a thought, then it isnt frightening.
And your latest exploit suggests you are a more confident rider than you think.
I'm sorry to hear this has happened. I hope that your knee recovers soon.
I don't want to sound nasty but I do think that you need to trust your instincts more. You said that you didn't think that the horse was for you when you found out she had only been broken for 4 months and couldn't canter in the school. I think that you should have ended the viewing there because you already had doubts. As soon as a doubt hits your mind then I don't think you should carry on.
In future viewings, is there anyway you could take a bike with you so you could ride on the bike while someone else takes the horse? That's what I plan to do when I start my search. There is no way I will be hacking out a strange horse without seeing him behave with someone else on him first.
I don't want to sound nasty but I do think that you need to trust your instincts more. You said that you didn't think that the horse was for you when you found out she had only been broken for 4 months and couldn't canter in the school. I think that you should have ended the viewing there because you already had doubts. As soon as a doubt hits your mind then I don't think you should carry on.
In future viewings, is there anyway you could take a bike with you so you could ride on the bike while someone else takes the horse? That's what I plan to do when I start my search. There is no way I will be hacking out a strange horse without seeing him behave with someone else on him first.
Help yourself, i really lost my nerve and went back on the lead rein for a month, it was the only way i could get back on again. (riding accident)
I found booking a lesson at a strange riding school helped, see what they offered as confidence giver and did it help. If it did i asked them to describe the horse to me if they sold to help with the adverts.
The words that came up were schoolmaster, family pony, anyone's ride. mother daughter share, novice ride.
OOhh, soooooooo sorry to read the latest episode LWTB.
All I can do is echo what everyone else has said - it's not your fault! And yes, people may well really believe what they say about their horse/pony. You hit the nail on the head when you summed it up - THEY think it's a confidence giver because THEY are confident with him/her/it.
I tried out a youngish, green Fell pony, just as a happy hacker, but it was a disaster. He was described as 'bombproof' by the very honest young woman who told me very fairly all about him. What she meant was that he was bombproof for HER i.e. he never did anything untoward when she was riding him. He needed confidence from his rider, and I needed confidence from my mount - in the end we just brought out the worst in each other. He was, and is, a kind & gentle pony, who never does anything dangerous. But he was a nervous, twitchy and sweaty boy when he hacked out with me, glad to get home as fast as he could. And so was I.
I agree with you that not every seller is hiding something or letting you take a risk by not listening to what you have told them - they may just be naive and have not proper understanding of what being a nervous rider is really like.
Well done to you for what you did. Trust your own instincts. You will get there in the end. Maybe take a bit of time out, though.
All I can do is echo what everyone else has said - it's not your fault! And yes, people may well really believe what they say about their horse/pony. You hit the nail on the head when you summed it up - THEY think it's a confidence giver because THEY are confident with him/her/it.
I tried out a youngish, green Fell pony, just as a happy hacker, but it was a disaster. He was described as 'bombproof' by the very honest young woman who told me very fairly all about him. What she meant was that he was bombproof for HER i.e. he never did anything untoward when she was riding him. He needed confidence from his rider, and I needed confidence from my mount - in the end we just brought out the worst in each other. He was, and is, a kind & gentle pony, who never does anything dangerous. But he was a nervous, twitchy and sweaty boy when he hacked out with me, glad to get home as fast as he could. And so was I.
I agree with you that not every seller is hiding something or letting you take a risk by not listening to what you have told them - they may just be naive and have not proper understanding of what being a nervous rider is really like.
Well done to you for what you did. Trust your own instincts. You will get there in the end. Maybe take a bit of time out, though.
Kis Vihar
Nutty Saddlers !
What a nightmare! 
I SO wish you were closer to here.... I'd find you something. Even my Kicsi (who is much bigger than you want!) was unbacked when I got her, but had a novice on her after a couple of months. She is SO laid back, and DOES require a firm aid to get her shifting!
Have you given any more thought to Jude from Ireland who finds people horses? She has a fantastic success rate, and has access to some FAB horses...and she's a little closer to you than Hungary!
I SO wish you were closer to here.... I'd find you something. Even my Kicsi (who is much bigger than you want!) was unbacked when I got her, but had a novice on her after a couple of months. She is SO laid back, and DOES require a firm aid to get her shifting!
Have you given any more thought to Jude from Ireland who finds people horses? She has a fantastic success rate, and has access to some FAB horses...and she's a little closer to you than Hungary!
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