My Thyme

[Thyme & Me]

First major challenge. First failure

I don't mean anything to do with Thyme or training. But about me... I said when I started this diary that I want to change my life/myself through my horses. I am often angry, prone to temper outbursts, impatient, easily frustrated. I can be very controlling. I keep a tight grip on life fearing that I will spin out of control unless I am perfectly in control at all times.....

Horses on the other hand live in the moment, go with the flow, respond to situations as they arise rather than tyring to force particular outcomes. I want to be more like my horses!

Before I even started working with Thyme all my 'out of control' buttons had been pressed today. My tumble drier AND washing machine have packed up. Then when I was riding this morning Charlie got buzzed by 8 dirt bikes and bolted. For the first time EVER. We galloped about a mile up an icy road and were headed for a junction before I could pull him up. That freaked me out totally. Firstly because it was scary anyway. But also because Charlie is for sale.... Since putting him up for sale he has spooked and trampled me and now he has bolted. He is advertised as kind and sensible! Which he always has been. But now I'm worrying about what on earth is going on and I don't want to misrepresent him or sell a horse with 'issues'. Though he has never had issues before and he's the same pony! So maybe the 2 incidents close together are just coincidence? The only thing that ever spooked my totally bomb proof cob was a dirt bike. Or maybe it's because he has switched to haylage as Thyme needs more condition?? Can haylage be a bit heating??

Anyway, after the ride I should probably have just chilled out with Thyme and done some grooming. But I wanted to bridle Thyme for the third time. And this time to teach her to drop her head & open her mouth for it. It went ok at first but then she began to get resistant. I assume because my pressure/release timing was off. In retrospect, as I felt my frustration rising I should have walked out of her stable. But of course, I didn't. I'm far too goal directed and predatorial for that! So we had a fight. Only a minor one, it's true, but not one we needed to have had at all. Anyway, after a short tussle she did drop her head and allow herself to be bridled. I took it off, left her for a few minutes and then bridled her again. She was fine. I led her in-hand to the field still in her bridle to get her used to the stop/back rein-aids. Then when we got into the field she trod on my toe and head-butted me! Both accidentally (I think!). She was trying to get to the hay I had put out earlier but it is still highly disrespectful, even if it was not overt aggression..... I tried to back her out of my space but her feet were planted. I lost my temper again and upped the pressure significantly to get her away from my face and feet. I don't mind using lots of pressure if I need to, but I am VERY upset about how angry I felt. She did back off eventually. I gave her a scratch, walked away and burst into tears. As I look back, there was nothing I DID that was too terrible. I increased pressure rapidly, but she was not responding to lighter cues. It was how how FELT that is the problem. And I doubt I will have progressed either her training or our relationship. She'll be more wary of the bridle and more wary of me. Or maybe not. I was nowhere near as hard on her as another horse might be if she got in their face! But feeling that way is horrible, even if the behaviour itself is not too bad.

I DO need to sort my life/head out. Is it fair to use an innocent young horse as my life-coach, though? I'm feeling as though I should not be trying to train a youngster if I can't stay calm and be patient.

 

[KarinUS]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I've been using my poor kids as my 'life coaches'. The horses have greatly benefitted from it. lol

As for Charlie if you are feeling angry a lot he may just be picking up on that even if you don't *do* anything to him.
I stay away from training on days when the car breaks down, OH ticks me off or anything else majorly unpleasant happens because I know I'll be more likely to snap with my 'students'. Maybe allow yourself some relax time with a cup of tea and postpone training to another day?

I am so glad you didn't get hurt in the bolting incident though! That sounds very scary.

 

[Thyme & Me]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I've been using my poor kids as my 'life coaches'. The horses have greatly benefitted from it. lol

Thank-you. That is very reassuring!

As for Charlie if you are feeling angry a lot he may just be picking up on that even if you don't *do* anything to him.

I don't walk around angry from the outset. I am just too reactive to events. The human equivalent of a 'hot' horse I guess! Before he bolted we were enjoying a lovely hack in glorious crisp cold weather and I was blissfully happy to be riding again for the first time since my accident! I'll look into the haylage issue and switch to hay I think. He does go a bit loopy, temporarily, when the grass comes through in spring so the haylage may be having a similar effect

I stay away from training on days when the car breaks down, OH ticks me off or anything else majorly unpleasant happens because I know I'll be more likely to snap with my 'students'. Maybe allow yourself some relax time with a cup of tea and postpone training to another day?

VERY good advice. Thanks.

 

[Thyme & Me]

...when I was riding this morning Charlie got buzzed by 8 dirt bikes and bolted. For the first time EVER. We galloped about a mile up an icy road and were headed for a junction before I could pull him up. That freaked me out totally. Firstly because it was scary anyway. But also because Charlie is for sale.... Since putting him up for sale he has spooked and trampled me and now he has bolted. He is advertised as kind and sensible! Which he always has been. But now I'm worrying about what on earth is going on and I don't want to misrepresent him or sell a horse with 'issues'. Though he has never had issues before and he's the same pony!....maybe it's because he has switched to haylage as Thyme needs more condition?? Can haylage be a bit heating??

Just e-mailed my RI what had happened with Charlie and she replied:

"Heck that is so out of character for him! But yes I would look at the haylage as it’s the one thing that has changed – to me he seems a different pone since changing yards."

So that's reassuring. My lovely calm, sweet natured ponio is still in there somewhere :wub: Going on hay from today. Fingers crossed it sorts him out. He never had haylage before moving yards so it could well be that.

 

[sjp1]

I would agree haylage can make a massive difference, so hopefully changing back to hay will sort it all out.

Emotions seem to make a huge difference to horses, and they also seem to know when you are pretending to be calm or happy - not always easy to be calm and happy!

 

[Thyme & Me]

So after all my stressing about setting Thyme's training back and damaging our relationship, she has been an angel the past 2 days. :wub: Coming straight over to me, walking alongside me with her head lowered, respecting my space, backing up readily. Silly stress-head (me, that is!) I still think that feeling angry is not a good mind set for handling horses but actually being assertive and putting more pressure on her when she was resistant and when she was in my face (and ON my foot!) may have been the necessary/right thing to do?

 

[Sparklie]

Glad things are back on track.

I think it's important to establish boundaries early on. It's hard to say without being in the situation but sometimes it is necessary when a simple "back" is ignored to back up your request with firmer actions. I find with Buzz that sometimes he needs to be TOLD to move back, not asked, as he's rather in your face. A good waggle of the leadrope usually works. If not he gets pushed back out of my space and at times when he's been very bargey I've had to wave a plastic bag at him :giggle:

 

[Thyme & Me]

Trotting Thyme

Turns out I sprained the ligaments in my knee when I got trampled 4 weeks ago. Ouch. Running has been impossible until the end of this week, so I have not been able to practice in-hand trotting for the Interdressage Practical Horsemanship Test. I did ONE practice on Thursday to try and teach Thyme to follow me when I jog. Then we videoed the test on Friday. This was meant to be a practice (which is why she is covered in sand from being allowed to roll in the sand-school before the videoing :yellowcarded. But today she was sore and it looks like she’s been kicked in the hip. Poor baby. She’s not lame but the area is tender and when I asked her to trot up she was sound but reluctant. And she tried to nip me. Which is a total first and I think was in protest because it hurts. So I’ve turned her out again for a few days off. And the muddy-horse/bedraggled-rider-in-the-rain test will have to do! I forgot parts of the test too. Even with a caller! And don't know my left form my right. Doh.

http://youtu.be/dD_9bv8xJ7k

I’m submitting it anyway for the feedback which is really detailed and useful. Feedback from any NR folk who might still be reading these ramblings would also be great....

And what of the lovely Charlie? I recently switched to haylage and he reacted pretty badly to it. But his haylage reaction coincided with Thyme arriving and me putting him up for sale so I wondered if it was those factors. Since then we had the trampling 4 weeks ago and the bolt last weekend which is when I switched him back to hay and he has been back to his normal self ever since. But I have become nervous when handling and riding him. I have NEVER had confidence problems with him. I trust him. But..... Hacking out after the bolt was hard. I thought having done it alone twice now it would be getting easier. But I really don’t want to ride out even though he hasn’t put a hoof wrong and I know it was a total one off. And when I am leading him I worry about tractors etc that NEVER used to bother either of us. And still aren't bothering him. It's just me. Sigh. Hopefully I’ll pull myself together and forget about it soon......

 

[Dark Storm]

Being trampled will certainly not help your confidence in him at the moment, as he's thrown doubt at you about your partnership.. try not to worry or be stressed around him, as he can pick it up, in the way you behave around him xx

 

[KarinUS]

Sorry you guys had such a traumatic experience!
Amazing what a difference different foodstuff can make.
Back in the day DJ turned into a rodeo bronc when the RS unbeknownst to me tripple his grain. Somehow I could tell all without them telling me...

Would you feel better if you had another person come with you? Or maybe just do lots of in hand stuff for now?

 

[Thyme & Me]

Hurray... Bought a wintec saddle off ebay. Last 10 second bid and won by ONE PENNY. - Previous bidder had put in £130 and I won for £132 - having bid exactly that. If I had bid just a penny less it would have gone to the lower bidder as she was first! Woop woop :skip::skip:

So next step...... BACKING THYME :help:

 

[sjp1]

Glad everything is back on track. I must say I always feel better that there is a REASON that something happened - like the other evening when Tobes was frightened by a pheasant in the school. It seemed OK with me and I didn't think he would do it again. Praps bear that in mind - the reason Charlie was naughty was the haylage.

Well done on saddle - very exciting when you win isn't it!!

 

[Thyme & Me]

Dark-Storm: Yes I am not as confident of him but that is rapidly returning. :inlove: He's a sweet natured ponio....

KarinUS: Great idea to go out with others. Had a great hack at the weekend and feeling so much better.

Sjp: Charlie had good reasons for doing what he did, which is really reassuring. But it brings home the fact that horses are unpredictable and things can go wrong so fast..... :help:

 

[Thyme & Me]

Time to get on Thyme....

No point putting it off any longer....

I have long-reined her in full tack so she understands how to stop and steer with a bit
I have lunged her with stirrups loose and flapping against her sides
I have put weight on the stirrups on both sides - jumping up a little
I have put weight across her back.
I have desensitised her to having her ribs, rump etc nudged/poked...

So no reason not to go for it.....

So Saturday is the day :help: :bounce::timebomb::skip: :frown: (mixed emotions!!)

Wish us luck...

 

[Thyme & Me]

Well it didn't happen.... Thyme was too distracted by a party going on up at the yard on Saturday and Sunday it was blowing a gale. So another week of ground work, and .....

STILL havent got on.

This time because I have been focussing on Charlie - trying to get decent pics of him jumping. That meant getting all the jumps out of storage which took ages. The girls have been keen to ride too, as they know he will be going.

But soon, soon, honest!!!

In the meantime here is us having fun with Charlie: tail plaiting; Izzy hacking out on her own for the first time :skip: and Charlie jumping.....


DSC01483 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr



DSC01571 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr


DSC01577 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr


419453_10150844727618012_594873011_12482375_1979657777_n (1) by Team KP Nut, on Flickr

Preparing Thyme...


DSC01494 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr


DSC01514 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr

No more procrastination. Next week IS the week!

 

[KarinUS]

Charlie is adorable. Too bad he doesn't fit into a big box to ship to Texas!
Why are you selling him?

 

[Thyme & Me]

He's too small for me and he's too much of a handful for them

He needs a confident teenager! (Or adult who wishes she was a teenager :tongue

 

[Thyme & Me]

I went to the yard today intending to get on Thyme. And I didn't.
"No point blogging then" I thought. "Not done it yet". But what exactly is "it"?!

When I started this blog, I wrote ...

" My predator-instincts are very helpful in a sport like ultra running, when you can latch onto your ‘prey’ and follow them for miles or when you can relentlessly pursue a single goal. But disadvantages are that I’m not very good at flow, compromise, flexibility. So when I can’t control something I get stressed and try and FORCE my will onto something I really should be directing in more subtle ways – or even accepting the absence of control. So I find myself swimming against the tide. And nowhere more so than with my kids and with my horses!! Horses, of course, are not predatory but are prey. So they are predisposed to respond in each moment to what’s around them rather than to plan ahead by setting and pursuing goals. To see the bigger picture rather than to narrow in on one thing.I think I could learn a lot from horses. But first I need to get out of my own way, and learn to listen to them. That’s what I hope to do with Thyme. I want to teach her the things she needs to know to be a reliable, ridden horse. And I want her to teach me how to be a good horse-leader......."

Well my 'goal' was to get on. And I didn’t so my immediate reaction is to feel that I failed. :banghead:

But what did happen today? Well I tacked her up again - this time she was totally unbothered by me tightening the girth. Not even a little look in my direction. She opened her mouth for the bridle and was rubbing her head less, so I guess she is getting used to the feel of it around her face and ears. I led her into the outdoor arena and she was calmer. I continued to practice stand cues through the bit. Then I put my foot in her stirrup and weighted it. She tried to move off but I checked her with the bit. When she was stood still I took my foot out. Repeated that a few times. Then did it on the other side, till she stopped trying to move off. Changed sides again and stood up in the stirrup with my hands pressing on the pommel. Waited till she was stood still and got down. Repeated both sides. Then stood up in the stirrup and leant across her back and gave her sides a rub/squeeze from above her. Repeated both sides till she was calm and relaxed. Then lined her up with the mounting block until she was happy to stand quietly next to it. Repeated this time with me on the block. Finally put my foot in the stirrup from the block and leant my weight across her. She stood like a rock. I felt that was plenty. Sure I could have got on but why??? That was enough new experiences for one young horse's young brain..... Right?
I finished the session with a calm chilled horsey who will not be feeling worried next time I work her. I was goal focused in that I know where we are headed, but NOT goal obsessed. For a change! Instead I listened to Thyme who was telling me by her behaviour when we started that this was all very new to her. And I listened when she blinked/licked/chewed as if to say 'give me a minute I'm just having a little think about all this' and I decided her well-being was better served by ending when I did. May sound trivial, but I'm really pleased I could park my ego and take things at HER pace rather than forcing mine. Failed? Nope! :skip:

 

[KarinUS]

wonderful

 

[Thyme & Me]

Riding-Thyme

Good things come to those who wait.....

Finally felt right to get on Thyme. She seemed ready - calm and relaxed. And it could not have gone better

I took my time again with her. Building up what I was asking for her little by little till I ended up on board!

What are you doing up there????


DSC01607 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr

It felt such a privilege that a powerful animal who could get rid of me anytime she chose was allowing me to sit on her back. Horses are amazing. As you can see, I was ecstatic!


DSC01602 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr

We then went for a walk around the arena and she took it all in her stride (no pun intended)


DSC01613 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr

Now I just need to build up slowly, getting her used to balancing with the additional weight of a rider, developing some muscle, improving her condition, continuing to work on trust and ground manners, and some in-hand showing...... Gonna be a fun summer :dance::dance: