Nervous Nellie Thread

I def want to join this thread - I'm riding a year have my own horse four months and had an absolutely brill summer with him - did everything I was scared of even galloped across stubble fields and jumped a barrier while out on a hack - so proud of myself and my baby......... until last weekend when some devil possessed him he bucked and reared with me ending up on the ground. Took some time to calm him and a lot of persuasion for me to get back up which i did eventually and rode him out ok. Was persuaded again to get up yesterday (which believe me took a while) he was very nervous and jumpy at first but prob because I was visibly shaking but I eventually settled (after being brought around on a lead rope!) and eventually cantered him and he was fine but I am still sick, sick, sick at the thoughts of getting up again. He is only four, I know he is only testing me and has been such a gentleman up to this but am still terrified, i'm upset that i feel this way after coming on so much and I am devasted that he acted like this I thought he was just perfect. Anyway thats my little rant over - hopefully I'll look back at this in a few weeks/months and wonder what I was worrying about but at the moment I dont trust him and I need to get that back.
 
I def want to join this thread - I'm riding a year have my own horse four months and had an absolutely brill summer with him - did everything I was scared of even galloped across stubble fields and jumped a barrier while out on a hack - so proud of myself and my baby......... until last weekend when some devil possessed him he bucked and reared with me ending up on the ground. Took some time to calm him and a lot of persuasion for me to get back up which i did eventually and rode him out ok. Was persuaded again to get up yesterday (which believe me took a while) he was very nervous and jumpy at first but prob because I was visibly shaking but I eventually settled (after being brought around on a lead rope!) and eventually cantered him and he was fine but I am still sick, sick, sick at the thoughts of getting up again. He is only four, I know he is only testing me and has been such a gentleman up to this but am still terrified, i'm upset that i feel this way after coming on so much and I am devasted that he acted like this I thought he was just perfect. Anyway thats my little rant over - hopefully I'll look back at this in a few weeks/months and wonder what I was worrying about but at the moment I dont trust him and I need to get that back.

From what I've learnt with my own horse and on here with young/inexperienced horses its very much a few steps forward and then one or two back now and again. Its a shame when things were going so well for you that this happened it does test your confidence and trust so don't be hard on yourself, a buck & rear followed by a fall all on the same day would definitely test the majority of us and your boy is only 4.
Hope you start to lose that sick feeling soon and don't feel bad about going back to more basic stuff for a while, that's what I do each time - I guess I do get frustrated but its better than feeling out of your depth.
Have you any idea what made him react in the way he did?

NicNac - sounds like you are doing fine. Mine was a pain with her rear right foot for ages threatening to kick etc when picking it out but I think it was her testing me out and all part of forming the trust between us early on. Depending on your horse I was able (when I was confident enough) to just hold the foot even when she threatened to kick - she never actually followed it through, she soon realised it wouldn't wash & got bored with that one and hoof picking is a whole lot easier now - she even tilts the back ones for me before I get there!!:p, but it did take time so don't worry - other tip I was given was just ignore that foot for a few days or pick them in a different order. As for the catching when Thea used to run off when she'd rather stay and play with her field mates I just walked past her, ignore her and then walked away I think she was concerned she might miss out on something and started coming to me, also worked if I made a fuss of one of the others - she's all 'Oi, your my mum'!! Rightly or wrongly I usually take bit of carrot or a polo when I catch her so she's happy with that and I spend more time now in the field with her just giving her a good old scratch and a cuddle when she's in the mood (mares!) so I think she generally associates me with good things now! So don't lose heart, you've really not had her long ;)
 
I def want to join this thread - I'm riding a year have my own horse four months and had an absolutely brill summer with him - did everything I was scared of even galloped across stubble fields and jumped a barrier while out on a hack - so proud of myself and my baby......... until last weekend when some devil possessed him he bucked and reared with me ending up on the ground. Took some time to calm him and a lot of persuasion for me to get back up which i did eventually and rode him out ok. Was persuaded again to get up yesterday (which believe me took a while) he was very nervous and jumpy at first but prob because I was visibly shaking but I eventually settled (after being brought around on a lead rope!) and eventually cantered him and he was fine but I am still sick, sick, sick at the thoughts of getting up again. He is only four, I know he is only testing me and has been such a gentleman up to this but am still terrified, i'm upset that i feel this way after coming on so much and I am devasted that he acted like this I thought he was just perfect. Anyway thats my little rant over - hopefully I'll look back at this in a few weeks/months and wonder what I was worrying about but at the moment I dont trust him and I need to get that back.

Hi MissTamara, sorry to hear about your mishap. Sounds like you've been very brave not only getting back on, but having a canter too - the fact that you were terrified only makes you braver to do it!

You say your horse is testing you, of course I wasn't there and don't know your horse so you may well be right, but reading your post this is how I see it:

Something scared or excited horse which made him buck, you came loose which scared him even more - he probably never meant to lose you - now you are nervous, so he, especially as he is such a baby, is also nervous and confused because you're not giving him the clear instructions he's used to.

You've already made the first step in getting your confidence back together by riding him again. Just a suggestion, but something that helped me loads when I was having confidence issues was doing groundwork in the school - we didn't do anything fancy, I just led my horse round on a lead rope, then got him to follow me, turning and stopping with me, without the rope (ok, so it's because he knows he'll get a treat, not because he loves me so much!) and practising getting him to move away from the pressure of my hand on his side or chest. Somehow being nearer to eye level with the horse and seeing him try to understand what I wanted and then do it so willingly, made a real difference. I think I started to realise that the things he did that scared me when riding weren't done at all out of malice, he was just being his scarey horsey self and I then felt a responsibility to look after him, rather than assume he would just look after me. As it happens I now think he looks after me very well!

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have your perfect baby back very soon. Just be patient and don't feel the need to rush either you or your horse - you know you can get there, just keep going!
 
Hi RRA and Bodshi - thanks for your words of encouragement it really helps. RRA - not sure at all what spooked him, i got my OH to hold him while i got up and suspect that maybe that might have made him nervous as he wouldnt be used to him - he is not a horsey person but other than that no idea at all - its the only thing that was different but its just a guess, either way, its onwards and upwards!!!!
 
Hi MissTamara, sorry to hear about your mishap. Sounds like you've been very brave not only getting back on, but having a canter too - the fact that you were terrified only makes you braver to do it!

You say your horse is testing you, of course I wasn't there and don't know your horse so you may well be right, but reading your post this is how I see it:

Something scared or excited horse which made him buck, you came loose which scared him even more - he probably never meant to lose you - now you are nervous, so he, especially as he is such a baby, is also nervous and confused because you're not giving him the clear instructions he's used to.

You've already made the first step in getting your confidence back together by riding him again. Just a suggestion, but something that helped me loads when I was having confidence issues was doing groundwork in the school - we didn't do anything fancy, I just led my horse round on a lead rope, then got him to follow me, turning and stopping with me, without the rope (ok, so it's because he knows he'll get a treat, not because he loves me so much!) and practising getting him to move away from the pressure of my hand on his side or chest. Somehow being nearer to eye level with the horse and seeing him try to understand what I wanted and then do it so willingly, made a real difference. I think I started to realise that the things he did that scared me when riding weren't done at all out of malice, he was just being his scarey horsey self and I then felt a responsibility to look after him, rather than assume he would just look after me. As it happens I now think he looks after me very well!

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have your perfect baby back very soon. Just be patient and don't feel the need to rush either you or your horse - you know you can get there, just keep going!


Great reply, really helpful and constructive:)
 
i'll join :D

ive owned/loaned and shared horses before now... but had a bad falls and v.bad experience..

the first worst off my psychotic idxtb which bronked me off and i ended up being knocked out and not breathing *lovely*.... major knock..(was not allowed back on this horse)

2nd was my lovely tb who had a bad accident and wasnt able to be ridden, so didnt ride properly for 2 years owning him, then another year after i lost him... so had reall bad knocks there!!

im not on riding lesson 5? on monday... im nervous and i dont know why!!!

my instructors fab, so are the horses, so i dont know why im so scard!

ive walked/trotted and cantered, but like my RI said, its not all about speed!, very true... my position is slghtly rubbish nowadays..so tht needs working on lol... anyhow!

any help/advice welcome :)

p.s im not buying another horse for 3 years while im at uni.... but in 3 years i hope to have my confidence back and be ready for competing when i buy my own (of not before but i wont set too bigger goal)! so its just lesson advice needed :)
 
Hi RRA and Bodshi - thanks for your words of encouragement it really helps. RRA - not sure at all what spooked him, i got my OH to hold him while i got up and suspect that maybe that might have made him nervous as he wouldnt be used to him - he is not a horsey person but other than that no idea at all - its the only thing that was different but its just a guess, either way, its onwards and upwards!!!!

that could be it. I used to ride a very green pony (a long time ago when I had some courage).
Anyway he couldn't be held for me to get on, if someone held him he would rear up, found it was best just to get on him myself and it worked out ok.
 
I had a great few days, riding out on my own and with my OH. Weather is great for riding here, and I intend on having a great weekend too.. things could be looking up:)
 
I haven't read every singel post in detail, as there are just so many. The message is so many of us feel the same; love our horses, love riding, but suffer from dreadful nerves.

As many of you know, my Ed is a pretty rock-steady boy, but I just detest the idea of hacking alone (only go 15 mins to riding lesson once every two weeks - that feels like climbing a mountain:D).

When I try to rationalise my apprehensions, I realise that even though I've had him over 4 months, I still cannot fully predict his reactions, in a year or so I will be better at this.

Went with for a hack with my friend yesterday (very experienced rider) had several fast canters. Ed absolutely loved it and I enjoyed the exhileration of the whole thing, but goodness is he fast and so strong - he became really quite excited!). I had to ask that we walk for a while so we coud all calm down. Unfortunately, it has discouraged me from taking the opportunity of a fast group ride in a couple of weeks - think I'll be out of my depth (and probably out of control:eek:). But, hey there's always another month, or another year :D
:D
 
Yay - loads of canters!

:D:D

As it was a bit windy today I didn't fancy the open fields so went in the school to work on my canter and she was such a good girl....only one small protest in the form of a stomp and a buck but other than that GREAT! We cantered on both reins the full length of the school - the left rein so far has produced only a few strides so I was whooping with pride :p We even cantered half a 20 metre circle - first attempt. I'm feeling so much more confident cantering her now and she definitely understands whats being asked too so BIG improvement.

So we went into field afterwards just for 10 minutes the wind made it a bit 'scary' :eek: but the schooling gave me the confidence to push her on when she napped and when I tried to take her into another field and she was one back step away from going up (her answer to not doing as she's told) but I distracted her from doing this, put my leg on and we went 'calmly' into the field (a few weeks ago I would have lost my nerve if she'd even hinted at napping/rearing)... so lots of praise for my brave hoss(!) and although we didn't venture very far the main thing was I felt so much more assertive today......at last! :o

So pleased with her I've made her some horse cookies!! Obligatory photos below.....I know I'm a bit sad :p
 

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I had a great few days, riding out on my own and with my OH. Weather is great for riding here, and I intend on having a great weekend too.. things could be looking up:)

Yay thats great! Bet you are feeling really happy!

RRA sounds like you had fun too, your horse cookies look yummy lol, i hope she enjoys them!

I still cant ride Tia, but should be able to do an old lady hack out on the road on Thursday, as she is having her wolf teeth out tomorrow. We basically have to do lots of roadwork and plodding around the farm to help her get fitness back, then lunging to build up her top line. Its annoying as I still havent cantered her out hacking and I've built it up in my head now, so I know it'll be a big deal when I finally get to do it, still Rome wasnt built in a day and all that, and I wouldnt want her to end up worse than she is in terms of lameness/back problem. And even the roadwork we need to develop as we've only done it twice.

Good luck to everyone else!
 
Confidence has taken a bit of a knock as came off at speed on Saturday, and am now on crutches. Was out on Larry, just walking as OH doesn't have a saddle and so was just walking Rufus alongside. Going past a field of polo ponies, they decided to go bonkers, galloping around and bucking, and Larry decided to join them. Had my first gallop and stayed on admirably, until the polo ponies came to the end of their field and stopped abruptly, as did Larry, who also bucked as he was coming to a stop.

Fortunately nothing broken, just badly twisted ankle and hip. Will try to avoid polo ponies from now on though!
 
Hi just found this thread and what a great place for us to all share the joys and turmoil, its good to know one isn't alone and share with folk who truly understand.

Haven't had chance to read through all posts yet but just wanted to say Hi. I had my first gallop the other day, since riding accident 4 years ago, (see other post) which was a major breakthrough for me, its onwards and upwards now.

B.O.B ~~healing thoughts~~ go out to you what a set back I hope you have a speedy recovery - mind over matter and all that.

One of my fears is riding past a field of horses, or coming across others on a ride - there aren't too many of those around here but it will be another test for the nerves when it does happen.

My most important tip for anyone suffering from anxiety REMEMBER TO BREATH :)

xxx
 
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anybody just think about quitting before they get hurt?
I was out on a friends horse yesterday for a while on a ride out, my friend was there too beside us, the mare wasnt badly behaved but fairly forward going, especially with other riders overtaking. I hated most of it and couldnt wait to get off. This was supposed to be improving my confidence as I can't get the confidence up to ride my own yet.
It's really getting me down and don't think I'll ever be cut out for this, think I started riding too late in life for that to change now and don't believe that they horse has been bred et that could be laid back enough for me to be confident on.. Sorry just not in great form, wish I liked fishing or something:)
 
anybody just think about quitting before they get hurt?
I was out on a friends horse yesterday for a while on a ride out, my friend was there too beside us, the mare wasnt badly behaved but fairly forward going, especially with other riders overtaking. I hated most of it and couldnt wait to get off. This was supposed to be improving my confidence as I can't get the confidence up to ride my own yet.
It's really getting me down and don't think I'll ever be cut out for this, think I started riding too late in life for that to change now and don't believe that they horse has been bred et that could be laid back enough for me to be confident on.. Sorry just not in great form, wish I liked fishing or something:)

Hey you are not in great form are you! I know what you are saying.. but you can still get hurt fishing.. :D

What is it that you enjoy about horse riding ?

On another note.. are any nervous nellies going to stay on new rider when it starts charging in a couple of weeks?
 
Just thought Id share this photo - taken yesterday - I only started riding about 4 months ago and haev only been riding my loan horse for about 6 weeks .
I too was very nervous and wouldn't canter at all but with a kind horse who looks after me and a good instructor this how far I have come - jumping a clear round of 8 ( very small!!!! ) jumps :)
 

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