If it's any consolation at all, I build things up - when we moved the horses up here it was very hard for me as prior to it, Storm had been lame and not ridden for a long while. I literally had to put the body protector on and be led about in a small paddock until I felt okay about it. I was really worried - and it was a long time since I'd fallen off her. You are not alone - and yes it does hurt - but try to remember all your great rides on your lessons. I am sure there have been plenty. That's what I do now with Zi. I went through a phase of being really scared riding him - (still not hundred percent) and Mr T said just remember the good rides and how good he has been in the past. I still find it difficult and I am sure my anxiety about it is something a lot of riders would not understand. I don't talk about it on here that much.