Not again.. Yards!! WWYD?

Thought I would update this thread. I went back to the yard today. And took a friend as well.
The stable floor issue is actually not half a foot drop! And is more 4-6 cm. He said he could level it out in the summer no issues. In regards to if there was any assistance he said he could bring in for me if I needed and if I needed more we could sort something out. I can put hay out in the field too. As long as I tidy up etc.

Currently things at my yard has settled down for now.
 
Jessey said:
Your current "back up" yells at you, calls you names and denies sox has any problem and walks him barefoot over the sharp stones daily crippling him (rather than putting his boots on), surely no back up is better than someone making matters worse? If you don't want to do him twice a day maybe looking at assisted DIY or part livery would be more appropriate.
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Yes no back up I guess would be better :)
Things have settled down.. until the next time..
 
Flipo's Mum said:
This is bullying behaviour. They see you as a soft touch that they can try to manipulate and don't respect so just attack for the very slightest thing. Sometimes folk say things to me that I know they wouldn't dare square up to other folk about. That doesn't make me upset, it makes me angry that they can be so disrespectful because they think you won't fight back. I always then think about what my behaviour has done to make them think they can treat me that way. I'm not for one second advocating that you fight, but you need to be careful about how you come across to these people as if you give an inch they see a weakness and claw at it. Usually it's because you've asked for advice and then not taken it from them. They get irritated.
I wouldn't run away if you're happy at that yard. Sort it out. Sort this other person out. You're responsible for one horse only, he is number one, be tough, keep him as your priority and your fuel to fight for what is best for him.
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I was thinking about this FM. The yard has settled down. That's not to say I don't get asked a lot of questions when we are down at the same time. I don't mind it here, we have a decent size school with lights and while I wouldn't have that at the other yard it's nice to have that. Not that I used it often. It seems where ok asking as I don't need to restrict him in anyway. It's if I have too that's when we have issues. The other thing is he is settled here and even though possibly gets a little bullied is happy at the yard.
squidsin said:
I totally agree that this person is a bully. However, if that's how they are and they're not going to change, there's nothing wrong with wanting to move for a more peaceful life. In an ideal world, we'd always stand up to people who make us miserable, but I've moved yards before because I just couldn't be bothered with that level of confrontation, and tbh it made my horse stressed too. As always, you need to weigh everything up and decide what's best for you and Sox.
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I find it so hard weighing it up though as he is settled here. But it's like if I did need to restrict that's where the issues lie.
 
I'm glad things may have calmed down for a bit. It's so difficult, I get that, but I just think folk can be so quick to livery hop and actually the more yards you go through, the more I start to wonder if the individual who yard hopping is the issue rather than the many yards they have left behind.
Maybe think about how you can go about introducing the subject of limiting him when it comes so that it doesn't get their backs up. Maybe some public relations, I know you shouldn't have to, but folk are a funny breed and need managing for a quiet life!
 
Flipo's Mum said:
I'm glad things may have calmed down for a bit. It's so difficult, I get that, but I just think folk can be so quick to livery hop and actually the more yards you go through, the more I start to wonder if the individual who yard hopping is the issue rather than the many yards they have left behind.
Maybe think about how you can go about introducing the subject of limiting him when it comes so that it doesn't get their backs up. Maybe some public relations, I know you shouldn't have to, but folk are a funny breed and need managing for a quiet life!
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Yeah I see where you are coming from. That's quite hard as the person in question doesn't want sox restricting in any way. Last summer he was at first box rested he lasted 4 days , he was just box walking as as other said ' he was doing laps' so the only other option was a pen then people weren't happy as it was too small for him, apparently. In short as long as what I do isn't affecting her horse its fine. If he is in a pen they cant really interact, if sox is stabled I cant leave her horse in the field by himself ( eventhough there are other horses next door). Yet at the same same if she kept her horse in as sox was in its me that apparently would be paying for any damages done as I am the reason her horse is stressed.
 
People are very opinionated wherever you go. It just seems an unavoidable part of yard life tbh. My strategy is to smile politely, thank them for their concern and advice then do what I want!
 
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KP nut said:
People are very opinionated wherever you go. It just seems an unavoidable part of yard life tbh. My strategy is to smile politely, thank them for their concern and advice then do what I want!
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I know, its a pain and even though is does annoy me I do just try to deal with sox. However it seems harder since I am sharing a field with this person who has very strong opinions and its very hard to ignore that when they say the things that they do and make me often doubt whether I am managing sox correctly. And because I then doubt myself I.. need reassurance that I am doing right from people who aren't involved with this.
 
I know you can deal with the bullying behaviour when it crops up again (which it will) but I thought your main reason for looking for another yard was so that you could manage sox differently to get him sound? A lovely school is all well and good but bloomin useless if you can't use it because you have a lame horse from not being able to restrict him when its appropriate or because the bully in question bruises his feet yet again by leading him in and out over stones without his boots to protect his feet because in her opinion he doesn't have anything wrong with him.
 
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Jessey said:
I know you can deal with the bullying behaviour when it crops up again (which it will) but I thought your main reason for looking for another yard was so that you could manage sox differently to get him sound? A lovely school is all well and good but bloomin useless if you can't use it because you have a lame horse from not being able to restrict him when its appropriate or because the bully in question bruises his feet yet again by leading him in and out over stones without his boots to protect his feet because in her opinion he doesn't have anything wrong with him.
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I know the bullying will crop up again, sadly. Yes it was/ is the reason why jessey.
I would like to think the boot thingy was a one off but I aren't there normally when the person in question brings in.
At the new yard the hacking.. is all roads and there busy but I can deal with that and the school is more a lunge pen and a grass jumps paddock again I can deal with that. My biggest issue about him been at this other yard is first would he settle and second how will he be if I take him from his friend at the present yard to been by himself?
I just seem to go around and around with this and don't seem to actually make a damp choice!...someone I have told at the yard said that you can see it's stressing me out and it's affecting me physically. But I disagree.
 
lauren123 said:
Yeah I see where you are coming from. That's quite hard as the person in question doesn't want sox restricting in any way. Last summer he was at first box rested he lasted 4 days , he was just box walking as as other said ' he was doing laps' so the only other option was a pen then people weren't happy as it was too small for him, apparently. In short as long as what I do isn't affecting her horse its fine. If he is in a pen they cant really interact, if sox is stabled I cant leave her horse in the field by himself ( eventhough there are other horses next door). Yet at the same same if she kept her horse in as sox was in its me that apparently would be paying for any damages done as I am the reason her horse is stressed.
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Sorry Lauren but this makes me spit!
Sox is your horse, whether she wants him restricting or not is completely irrelevant, the one with a problem here is her and if her horse isn't happy on it's own it's NOT your problem.
Belle has had to come in overnight since my op as her field buddy is on box rest and she doesn't like being out overnight on her own, it's made things difficult for me, or rather my husband who has had to learn how to muck out on top of the rest of the chores, BUT, there is no way in hell i'd be moaning to my friend and demand her horse stay out, that's ridiculous. I'd be telling this other person to sort her own horse out and leave you and Sox out of it quite frankly.
You are following vets advice, i'd also be telling her that if she insists you go against that, then she can feel free to pick up the vets bill... argghh it makes me boil.
 
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Kite_Rider said:
Sorry Lauren but this makes me spit!
Sox is your horse, whether she wants him restricting or not is completely irrelevant, the one with a problem here is her and if her horse isn't happy on it's own it's NOT your problem.
Belle has had to come in overnight since my op as her field buddy is on box rest and she doesn't like being out overnight on her own, it's made things difficult for me, or rather my husband who has had to learn how to muck out on top of the rest of the chores, BUT, there is no way in hell i'd be moaning to my friend and demand her horse stay out, that's ridiculous. I'd be telling this other person to sort her own horse out and leave you and Sox out of it quite frankly.
You are following vets advice, i'd also be telling her that if she insists you go against that, then she can feel free to pick up the vets bill... argghh it makes me boil.
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Thanks you all speak so much bloody sense!
I know I will fly at her one day not litrally don't worry but I will just go in all guns blazing!
It's okay though as of course ( how I wish he didn't have a list of problems) there is nothing wrong with him! It's like last year when people were saying they would report me or the Yo sons OH would 'have to intervene ' (as he was in a pen and had lost weight) I said again and again ' I am following the vets advice' and I was told that I needed.to ' let him in 1/4 of the field and be a horse as I aren't letting him be a horse' and again I said 'well for now I going to keep following the vets advice.'
 
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