old horse guilt

[Lucy J]

I need some feedback here. My old horse sadly passed away last March, he was still happy and plodding along but was very painfully thin (he was ancient) I read in horse and hound that a chap got charged for causing unnecessary suffering to an old horse that was painfully thin. Did I neglect my old horse? I knew in the months before he passed away that if I called the vet he would make the decision to put him to sleep. I believe it may have been liver failure, but he was still eating his breakfast, and although tired, not fed up and quite happy. His teeth were almost non existant, so he was fed on lots of sugarbeet, high fibre cubes, micronised barley and weight gaining supplements. One day he finally lay down and didn't want to get up (still whinnied for his breakfast and ate the lot!) so the vet was called and he was put to sleep.

I wanted to wait for him to tell me enough was enough, I didn't want to have to make the decision for him as I feel it is not right to take a life in your own hands. Was I cruel? Should I have had him put down when he was very thin and not gaining weight.

I am worried incase I caused him uneccesary suffering, but although a bag of bones, he didn't seem to be in any pain, although his quality of life was not what it used to be.

Now I am worried incase I was wrong. What is eveyone's views on this?

 

[Mehitabel]

i don't think you were wrong, and i don't think there's anything to gain by beating yourself up about it. you knew your boy, and i'm sure that if he'd been unhappy you'd have known and done the right thing. there are thin old ponies and then there are thin old ponies who are miserable - you don't sound to me like the kind of person who would have kept a horse going for selfish reasons.

 

[ros]

We had to have one of our dogs put to sleep very recently. She was coming up for 16. She was amazing right up until the last - still going for walks (though not exactly fast!), wolfing her tea down and, although she was a bit stiff in the old joints, she was basically quite happy. We always said the day Jessie went off her food was the day we would worry.

Obviously we'd been expecting it for a while, even though she was so well in herself, and I really thought I would be devastated when it happened. But strangely, I felt very peaceful about the whole thing. I think it must be because everything felt so *right*. She was happy until the last, and one day she just decided she was tired. As far as we knew she didn't have anything much physiologically wrong with her, so she wasn't actually suffering in that way, but she let us know she'd had enough of life and we gave her a hand. I just feel incredibly grateful that she was able to go like that, and that we had her as long as we did.

It sounds very much as though your horse was able to go the same way, so I really don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

 

[Lgd]

My older mare's sire has just been put down recently at the age of 25. He had severe arthritis for several years but the owner said that as long as he was happy he would keep him, until two days before he went he would canter, passage and piaffe down the corridor on his way to turn-out, his weight wasn't brilliant but he ate everything, appeared content and the vet was statisfied that no action was needed. Some days he was stiffer than others but always keen. He suddenly didn't want to leave his box the bank Holiday Sunday and became very disinterested in everything and was struggling to move around his stable. He went on the Wednesday morning.

 

[suze]

It can be very hard but when you know they are in a lot of pain and no chance of getting better than thats to time to say enough is enough.
With you it sounded like he still had a good chunk of quality of life, so Im sure you did the right thing.
I wouldnt want to end a life of any animal without a very good reason.
If they still enjoy life than why end it.
When they are old they are also wise and can let you know they are not happy.
Hard to let go I know but you have to, dont feel guilty, feel happy for him, your grief is another thing and can be just as hard to deal with, so let yourself grieve, after all you had to say goodbye to a treasured loved one.

 

[Tina J]

If he was thin and you DIDN'T give him food suitable for his age and lack of teeth, then you would have been right to feel guilty. But you cared for him, fed him well, and gave him a loving home to the end. Stop worrying, and just enjoy your memories of him. Even if you feel sad, you mustn't feel guilty.

 

[Lucy J]

thanks everyone, I suppose that reassures me a bit. It is just so hard sometimes to think whether you do do the right thing by them or not.

 

[judyl]

I don't think you should feel guilty. He told you when he was ready to go and was too tired to carry on. You did all the right things in feeding him and some horses have a lifelong problem in trying to gain weight. It's a terrible decision to have to make and made even worse when there's no real serious illness or major accident to have the decision made for you. I have this to come as my mare is 19 and I have to be realistic. At the moment she is in excellent health and looks amazing but you have to begin to prepare yourself. I dread the decision and hope I'm as brave about it when it comes as you were.

Judy

 

[rusk]

Horrible horrible day

I had a bad accident with my horse and he was killed outright. The worst feeling of all was the guilt. Was there something I should have done or could have done? How could I have been so stupid? Why didn't he look out for himself, did he trust me too much? I have lived with these thoughts in my head for five years now and I probably will always feel it was my fault somehow.
I heard a wee saying that grief is the price you pay for love, and it's so true.
Maybe everyone has feelings of guilt when they lose a loved one, animal or person.
It sounds to me as if your old boy went when he was ready, you knew him better than anyone. I have an old horse who came to me because of the accident and I hope I never have to make a decision about his end.

 

[Lucy J]

thanks, and I'm really sorry about your horse.

maybe guilt is something we always feel, I don't know. perhaps it is human nature to think there must have been something more we could have done. i am glad I am not alone.

 

[lamprellsarah]

i think you are very brave, and what you did was right, i admire you for being out to do it!!!
if we have these animals we have to be prepared to do this when, we see things going down hill and not getting back up, i hope i can do this when my mares comes to it, i hope it will be a while yet but she is 21 maybe purebred and has arthritis!!!