Riding again after 20 years of no riding...

[Anna Kelly]

I finally did something for myself. I started riding lessons at a great school. I've been taking lessons now for 2 months.
Started feeling the old confidence come back and then we went out for a trail ride and I completely lost all confidence. The first horse I was on, a 3 year-old thoroughbred (sp?), spooked and bucked. I stayed on but decided I probably wouldn't do too well if he did it again. I was scared so my RI traded horses with me. I was on my regular horse, quiet & calm, and then he completely spooked. Needless to say, I was the only one in the group walking my horse back and trying not to cry. I know there are risks, but when this sweet, calm & quiet horse freaked, so did I. What do you do when this happens to you? Any tips for staying on and regaining your confidence? Thanks for any and all advice. This is my first post and I love this board.

 

[KateWooten]

aww - that's not fair ! What a pity they spooked and knocked your confidence back a bit. Don't let it get you down .. maybe stay in the school and have lessons for a while .. then you decide which horse to ride the next time you venture out ... would they let you do that ? I mean, you could spend a few weeks really getting to know that calmer older horse, and then you'd have a lot more confidence that if he did spook, you'd be ok. And having that confidence - he'd be a lot less likely to spook - they pick up on your nerves, obviously.

Ok, I'm trying to hold back.. but it's no use .... she took you out on a hack ... on a 3 yr old thoroughbred ??? ??? That's insane. What was she thinking ? Are you SURE this is a good school ?

 

[Anna Kelly]

It's all my fault. I've been doing well and felt very confident. My RI asked me if I felt confident enough to go out on the 3 year old. "Sure thing" I said. I've been around the horse and his owner in lessons and I've ridden him before. My RI stuck close to me and saw what he was up to. She switched as soon as there was trouble. Of course he was an angel for her. I take the blame.

 

[iluvhorses28]

oh boy! I agree..A THOUROUGHBRED? A 3 YO AT THAT?
Don't feel too bad..I did this before once or twice when my school horse was semi-freaking over nothing..I got nervous over the first spook and decided..I would do this horse no good staying on and PRETENDING I was calm and collected.. I WASNT!

So I walked him back home... No shame in feeling you need ot be safe, than sorry.

Confidence...Hmmm.. this I am also trying to overcome... I get these roller coaster od days when i am so scared to even handle my horse...and days when I looked like I've been doing it forever!

Sometimes...it does take a quiet horse to boost one' confidence.... I had an old TB Gelding that was my savior! He let me walked and walked and walked all through the lesson..when it was a trotting lesson I'm sure it was rather annoying to cater to me..but he did it...every lesson there after I did fine and looked forward to this horse... sadly another girl bought him...and I bought another horse... I have yet to gain confidence in her..but we are trying..for the most part...

All I can say is HANG IN THERE! It's great you even tried to ride again...that's a good sign of determination! TAke your time...and you will be fine...But I'd request for a more experienced,calmer horse next lesson though!

 

[raingodz]

It's all my fault. [...] I take the blame.

It is not your fault at all, I recently started riding after a 15 year gap, and I have gone through phases of ultra confidance and worrying fear of failing. Had someone asked me to ride a 3yo TB on a hack when I was in one of my ultra confident mode I would have said yes, and probably then felt as you feel now, but I think some of the fault must lie with your trainer who should have selected a more apropreate horse for you.

Things did not go well for you, but, you accepted the challenge of riding and the ups and downs that go with it, you have had your down so now you'll be on the up. The only blame you can take is that of wanting to meet your next challange, it did not quite go as you hoped but you will take the challenge after that, the one of trying again.

 

[Tots N Dots]

I have a bit of a confidence issue and have found that I need to accept the fact I am nervous and not fight it or beat myself up over it, also I set very tiny goals for myself, and try to make sure that I dont set myself up to fail.
I have probably looked very strange in the past, I dont go to ride i go to groom, If I tack up its a huge bonus, if I then ride even bigger bonus, I probably sound daft but I was at an all time low with it, I just made sure that I did what I set out to do, so if it was to groom and I didnt tack up or ride I hadnt failed, if that makes any sense? lol

 

[teabiscuit]

I accepted long ago that riding is just a series of ups and downs

the ups are fantastic, the downs can be a bit of a battle

i just keep going, and do whatever helps me cope at the time. if that means not riding, that's ok. if it means getting off when my horse spooks, that's ok too

it means i live to ride another day

if you think about it too long, you wonder why you do it

just to add, don't get too upset at riding the 3 year old, who ever's fault it was, it was a good learning experience if you are able to take something from it. taking a risk is an important part of learning imho and not many people have ridden a 3 year old tb on a trail ride!

 

[Anna Kelly]

Thanks for all of the replies and advice. I think I'm going to go out and just visit with the horses tomorrow. When I first started riding again, I would stop by the stables just to bring a treat for my school horse and sometimes just to groom him. I'm with you there Tots n Dots Since we're in the middle of a heat wave (101 degrees yesterday) I'll wait to ride till Monday at my lesson. Thanks again everyone. It's nice to know that others have felt the same.

 

[oldbushy]

HI,I'll ramble on a bit but I hope I'm of some help. Congradulations on staying on. It is an experience for you and you will get better at it. Unfortunately the first horse I bought after about a 10 to 15 year absence from riding has one major bad habit which they didn't point out to me. He shies badly severely suddenly and often. It absolutely threw my confidence
out the window. I am astounded that I've stayed on. Now on the rare occasion that I do go out hacking it doesn't even worry me that he shies. If he gets really nervy I simply take my stirrups off that way I can't get caught up. Its not good for you to be on horses like this but you will get over the nerves from this I promise you. Just sit on a horse in an enclosed space or walk round bareback in a very small space. You will get better soon. It's just one of those ordeals we all go through be kind to yourself about it. Kindest regards Oldbushy And thankyou for posting this as it has been a great help to me and all the helpful replies. I don't know what i'd do without this site

 

[dunlvr]

I second that! Thanks for the post

because there are a lot of us with the same confidence issues. My guy (Rebel) shies or spooks too. He has dumped me twice before I finally figured out that his tensing right before he shied - meant to 'be aware'. He has been my confidence builder - until my daughter (who is a fearless wonder) rode him and he bucked down the entire arena (120 x 240 feet) with her on his back. She stayed on - then got off and gave him back to me. He had spooked at something at the one end of the arena and came unglued. I got on him (knees knocking, heart in my throat) and made him go back to the spooky scary corner. He got tense and wanted to bolt - but I patted his neck, spoke to him and he calmed down. Once my heart quit beating so hard and fast, I enjoyed the rest of my ride on him. The key to Reb and my partnership is that 1) he trusts me and 2) I have had to learn to trust him. Not easy to do though.

 

[Guest]

Confidence is something we seem to lose with age...unless we are men and then they are just always confident or just full of mouth.

I think the answer is never push yourself to far, always step just outside your comfort zone just enough to achieve something and then before you know it your comfort zone is a whole lot bigger.

Also riding the right horse can make all the differance, two horses have helped me so much, Gully my old schooly and my girl Bryony.

Good luck and stick at it!!

 

[Trace The Ace]

I too have returned to riding after some 10-15 years and have EXACTLY the same confidence battles. I accept that I will have some major challenges, but take it one day at a time.

I think you did brilliantly to stay on and it will be a huge learning curve. You only learn by challenges and mistakes, not from getting it easy or right. Good for you and they were most certainly wrong for sticking you on a three year old. How insane.

I have my eye on a beautiful six year old and I am even questioning that because he is young.

Good luck and it looks like we are all in the same boat.

 

[Skib]

It is not your fault. Well done for staying on.
I say it is not your fault because for me the most important thing when grown ups learn to ride or resume riding lessons is that we take the decisions for ourselves. Particularly where safety is concerned.
Then we only do things we are happy with and dont end up a ball of nerves. Also hopefully we stay safe. You did get back safe after all.

Now if we take our own decisions, it stands to reason that sometimes we take the wrong ones?
Almost all my falls were down to instructor error. But I could have put my foot down and refused to do as asked?
So my error too, if you see what I mean. One learns from one's mistakes and these days touch wood, I no longer fall.
It is very hard to resist friendly suggestions. That's human nature. That is what you did. But dont knock yourself for having hacked out too soon and on the wrong horse. Go on taking your own decisions.

After all, you didnt go very wrong. All horses occasionally spook. Even my rock solid sensible mare did a massive spook a week or two ago. But that is not the norm. I was a bit wary the next ride and then I forgot it. Give yourself time to get back into the hang of things, relax and enjoy it.