Riding school riders and prima donna teachers?

Skib

Skib

Well-Known Member
Dec 21, 2003
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London
I had a really horrible time yesterday. I could hide it. But I am in trouble.
My normal escort was off sick and I was allocated instead an RI who is a knowledgeable and excellent teacher. When I do ride with her, I learn things.

As we set out she began to upbraid me - I'd insulted her by riding out with her only because my normal girl was ill. I was socially inept, failed to treat her with consideration; she attacked everything about me, claiming I had "issues" at the RS and I had failed to appreciate her support. She went on and on, reprimanding me for my failings and accusing me.

This is the second time she has done this to me. Last time was our second ride, abut two years ago.

If I try to defend myself it enrages her further, and my defence is weak. Because of course it is true. She was not my first choice and (I didnt tell her this) I had asked the staff in the office whether I couldnt ride with someone else? I didnt handle it perfectly, but it was none the less horrible.

I think the riding school versus own horse question is hard. So long as my favourite mare is well and I am riding two or three hours a week with someone agreeable, I dont have much incentive to buy a horse.

But it is a fragile arrangement built on white lies and total subordination. Which no longer comes easy to a competent old woman like me.
 
Skib said:
As we set out she began to upbraid me - I'd insulted her by riding out with her only because my normal girl was ill. I was socially inept, failed to treat her with consideration; she attacked everything about me, claiming I had "issues" at the RS and I had failed to appreciate her support. She went on and on, reprimanding me for my failings and accusing me.
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Crikey! :eek: I think Id have turned her to face a mirror and told her to ask herself why she thought I didnt ride with her!!
You dont pay to be treated like that. :mad:
 
Exactly Zip. Skib, that kind of behaviour is inexcusable. You are not paying a particular member of staff for their service - you are paying the stable, which means you should get the same level of respect from whoever you ride with. I'm a riding school groom, and yes, there are clients I don't like and clients who don't like me, but when I'm doing my job I do it properly and keep my negative opinions to myself.
 
Hi Skib, I go to my RS because I get to ride without the financial and time commitment needed if I owned my own horse, I get to meet other people who share my passion, but mostly I go because it brings me joy and its great fun. I'm not a fantastic rider and have at least a million technical faults but my RI loves our lessons and hacking because its social for her too - she only has 2 adult sessions per week, the rest are with children.
I think its disgraceful the way you were treated yesterday, smacks of bullying to me and personally speaking I would flatly refuse to put myself on the receiving end of such audacity during what should be a pleasurable ride and a time to unwind.
I wish you luck in finding whatever you are looking for from your riding:)
 
Definitely someone who needs to look at why she wasn't your first choice by the sounds of it! Very unprofessional behaviour.
 
Skib, you are not paying to be treated like this.

She clearly has issues, which she should not be taking out on a client. That sort of behaviour is unprofessional and (in my view) inexcusable. Riding is supposed to be enjoyable, which it cannot be if you are riding with someone with whom, for whatever reason, you dont "click" or who cannot perforn the job which she is being paid for to a professional level.
 
I totally agree with the previous comments. How dare someone that you are paying to take you on a ride speak to you like that? In some ways you could take it as a compliment that that RI cared enough about what you thought of her to get so upset.

Ideally you would complain, but would this mean that you wouldn't be able to ride there anymore? It depends on how much you normally enjoy it.
 
Sounds like the old YO, which is WHY we moved our horse (and our money) to a more appropriate yard.
I'd suggest, that if you're not paying to be yelled at, insulted and basically demeaned, that you let whoever's in charge of the stable know what you were forced to deal with. Also, get in a "mood", and let the RI that did this know in NO uncertain terms that although you kept your mouth shut, it wasn't because you're afraid to speak your mind, it was out of CONSIDERATION, of which it would seem she's got NONE. This is why you've been happily riding with the other RI, because you're not being attacked for every little thing you do wrong.
Are you training to show? Are you just learning so you can enjoy being in the saddle? Are you a perfectionist? Does it REALLY matter to you if you gain a perfect seat, perfect control, perfect transitions, etc? It doesn't sound like you're going for the uptight angle, more like you do it because you have FUN, which is WONDERFUL!
Some people thrive from the abuse, or learn better by being upbraided...some enjoy a more informal, relaxed session, with the RI pointing out what the rider is doing wrong, and being allowed to take small steps in the right direction as they go.
It's not supposed to be about being made to feel horrible, and forced to find some other location to be happy. It's supposed to be about being happy and content where you are, progressing at YOUR pace, with the instructor that's willing and able to take you where YOU want to go, even if that's just in circles. ;)
I'd also suggest writing down everything you can recall about this incident, so you don't forget any of the details if you decide to press the issue, and I certainly would! (but that's just me, the other day at a fast food restaurant I told the manager I'd kick this lazy employee in the a$$ and tell her to move down the road if she couldn't be bothered to complete a simple order that she'd started to make, without whining about it at top volume :D;) )
 
Come on Skib, tell 'em where to get off. Is it any wonder you don't want to ride out if she's going to take your every move personally!

Are you telling me you paid to ride out and had to suffer this kind of lip from someone whose ruddy wages you are paying?
 
That was out of order!!:mad:

I wouldn't stand for that behaviour at all. Its your money and your time and how you spend those two things is your business unless you make it otherwise.

Whether or not you take this further is up to you but I think if up to now you have been put with the other RI I would say that the YO has been considering your previous request. This latest episode wouldn't have occurred if the other girl had been around to take you.

If you're still upset though tell YO/YM so the RI can be made aware that her behaviour is unacceptable. Its the YM/YO's responsibility to keep her in check and it shouldn't be up to you to have to defend yourself from such an attack.
 
:eek: how awkward for you! and how very unprofessional of that lady! you go there to ride and have a nice time, not to have your personality unpicked or analysed! i wouldnt ride with her again!

thats what i dont like about most riding schools anyway. theyre often such bi*chy places, you're supposed to 'read between the lines' and please that person, but not the next person because someone else said they never liked XYZ anyway but they'd never say that to her face because ABC has heard from that guy who used to work there that .... BLAH! really can't be bothered with stuff like that!

Julia
x
 
Skib - you could always print out this thread, give it to the lady in question and let it do the talking for you! We cant all be wrong and we all seem to have a similar response here! :D
 
I have to agree with everything said on this thread. How very unprofessional of her. We all click with different people, don't we? No wonder you don't click with this particular RI. Sounds like her problem may actually be with your regular RI and not you (jealousy perhaps?) .
I'd be making a complaint to the owner of the yard or yard manager. Don't let her get to you..It's the empty vessels that make most noise. :D
 
Wally said:
Come on Skib, tell 'em where to get off. Is it any wonder you don't want to ride out if she's going to take your every move personally!

Are you telling me you paid to ride out and had to suffer this kind of lip from someone whose ruddy wages you are paying?
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Couldn't have put it better myself (really, I couldn't). It sounds like she's the one with the issues and is most definitely projecting her insecurities onto you.

I had a similar experience with an ice skating coach. She had tried to poach me from my coach and when I refused to have lessons with her turned on me BIG TIME calling me all kinds of names and saying that she wouldn't want to teach me anyway. My coach overheard one of her rants (she wasn't just saying it to me) and we ended up taking it to management. She got the boot! Good riddance too!

It might be worth having a word with the RS owner and telling her exactly how you've been treated. I know that there's a culture of not rocking the boat in this country but all it does is allow them to carry on abusing people.

All the best xxx
 
Ermmm...didn't you pay for this? Tell her exactly where to go!

Unfortunately some of us are not as perfect as she OVBIOUSLY is (tongue firmly in cheek) - but riding is meant to be fun!

Having a horse of your own puts the ball firmly in your court, but that means all the mishaps and the triumphs are down to you...not some jumped up silly cow who ovbiously thinks she is better than her clients.

Skib...buy your own horse (put it on full livery as a safety net) and get a good instructor who will help you!

I promise you'll never look back ;) I know I didn't :)
 
I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience this time Skib. I'm not sure if you remember, but you helped me when I began to post on this board and one of your many helpful pieces of advice was 'don't feel tied to one place'. What happens if the horse you like to ride is lame/not right or if the RI you normally have/get on with isn't there/no longer has the time to teach you...

But then again, we all have bad days, and it would seem that she has a bigger chip about it all than you do...
 
im gob smacked :eek:

i worked at a RS and if i had spoken to a client anything like that, i would have been sacked

if you paid for this session, you must demand your money back, and a appology from this gutter snipe,

very very out of order
 
I too am gobsmacked .... how on earth you didn't drag her off her horse and beat her to a pulp I will never know! I had issues with one of the RI's at the EC where I work. She spoke to me in an absolutely appalling manner in front of a load of pupils (to try and make herself look good). Mild mannered me absolutely flipped and told her to "stick her effin job up her effin effin backside" and walked out of the arena. Cue lots of open mouths and me thinking oh well it was nice while it lasted! Fortunately the boss saw things differently and the RI was reprimanded - surprisingly we are actually quite good friends now (she works on a different yard - that helps!).

You must speak to the Yard Manager/Proprietor and tell them about this - its bullying, its unacceptable and its downright nasty. If the RI is BHS qualified - complain to the BHS. You don't pay good money for your lessons and hacks to be spoken to like this. Its appalling.
 
Oh dear Skib, this is everything you advocate to the rest of us to walk away from..

This person behaved appallingly and at the very least you deserve your money back - is she the proprietor? If not you must go and complain. You ride 3 hours a week at this place, that must be a pretty tidy income for them.

If she is the proprietor then you need to move on..... if not then SHE needs to move on: and I would expect her boss to tell her to do so.

Time to acquire your own horse? (It is my retirement dream - even tho that is yet some years off. )
 
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