Think I love a married man...

Rubic

Rubic

Equine Karaoke Queen
Apr 15, 2012
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Glasgow
Ok a bit dramatic. Maybe not love, just like... a lot... in a "more than a friend" sort of way.

I was my leaving night tonight. Loads of people from my work were there and one guy who is a sales rep and I spoke to a lot when he came in to visit. He is a nice guy, we get along and I've always liked him. He came to my leaving night tonight and I realised just how much I like him although he is married and has a child who will soon be a year old.

I'd never act on my feelings even if I thought he felt the same way, I'm just not that kind of person but I suppose I just need to get my feelings out. I can't exactly go telling any of my old work friends in case they go blabbing to him, not that I would actually see him again so I suppose it wouldn't matter. I just feel like I need to keep this "secret".
 
I've already said I wouldn't do anything about it, I'm not some sort of home-wrecker. I just felt the need to talk to someone about it since I can do nothing else but think about it. You can't really help your feelings but I can hardly go and have a laugh about it with my work friends because they know him and it could get back to him which I really don't want which is why I posted here.
 
Like I said, I would NEVER do anything about it, let's just clarify that. I came in, from a night out, was a bit drunk and wanted to have a bit of a laugh at my "misfortune" with people who have absolutely nothing to do with the guy so he never finds out, that's all.
 
I think you're in an emotional situation right now, leaving a safe comfortable place of work and setting off into the unknown. Being attracted to a married man has similar connotations since you're obviously not going to act on it, it's equally safe to muse over as you won't get hurt by him if you never intend to do anything about it.
I'm sure those feelings will pass, I've had similar but would never do anything about it as although they may be attractive in their current role as husband, you wouldn't be attracted to them if they were the type of person to dump their wife and child for you.
You're about to go off to a new life, and day dreaming about this guy will probably be comforting for a wee bit until you're settled again. No harm done, as long as you say you don't do anything about it. Hopefully a new single bloke will come along soon to replace him!
 
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I spent a few years 'loving from afar'. Painful but the guy was off limits so that was that. I got over it! We are both now very happily married to other people. Chin up. Someone equally nice but unattached will come along. x
 
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I'm glad you've got the decency not to act on how you feel. I was slightly "eek" when I read the title because, from what I've made of you on here, I'd always thought you were a better person than that & I'm glad that reading your post properly confirms that.

There'll be others, & anyway would you really want anyone who'd leave his wife & young child? You deserve better too x
 
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I went on a few dates with a guy I really liked. After a few weeks the jerk told me he was living with someone else. He tried to justify it and thought we shoyld still see each other. But for me it was instant end of relationship as my view of him changed immediately. As others have said, anyone who would cheat isn't worth having!!
 
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Yes, he would instantly become unattractive if I found out he'd cheat on his wife, part of the attraction is that he seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Since I split up with my waster of an EX I haven't really felt attracted to anyone and I suppose that's why I thought this situation was so typical and really laughable.
 
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You can't help who have feelings for, thats the bit that's uncontrollable but your actions you can control. We have all had crushes on people we shouldn't and its a bit judgmental for people to think you aren't as good a person for it.

As long as your not going to act on anything who cares who you have feelings for. I've had it more times than I can count but they have came and went with the other party none the wiser and me having done nothing about them.

We are all only human after all not morally programmed robots :)
 
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Your hormones won't care if someone is married or single - they don't know the difference! You can't help who you find attractive so don't feel bad about it Rubic, you've said you wouldn't act on it so that's all that matters really. Oh and sales people are notoriously good flirts so you may well have succumbed to his charms quite easily despite the suit ;)
Accept your feelings don't beat them down and just remember that's all they are, you have done NOTHING WRONG
Someone nice who's not in a relationship will come along eventually in the mean time as my mum always says 'nothing wrong with window shopping'
 
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A married man made a pass at me once, I just couldn't believe he would do it. I quite liked him before. "Come on, it will be fun," he said. "Fun for who???" I said. Rubbish. Good for you for leaving him alone.
 
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Oh no! Don't waste your time and energy on someone who can't give it back. I know we can't help how we feel but the road of loving a married man only leads to heartache. You have had enough of that! Find someone lovely who can love you back.
 
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