The scene, Dreamfields Riding Centre – near Thunder Bay last Friday:
Scene I
A few minutes before 3:30 p.m. a professional looking (albeit overweight) woman drives into the yard. She gets out of the car and we see that she is dressed in a smart linen/silk skirt suit and crisp cotton blouse with snakeskin trimmed linen slingbacks. She takes a leather briefcase and heads for the tack room, saying “hello, Rusty” to a handsome chestnut gelding in a nearby box stall. Rusty thinks – voice sounds familiar, but don’t know who that is. Emerging a few minutes later is a dumpy middle-aged woman in breeches and a stained polo shirt. “Ah” says Rusty, “it’s my numpty owner”.
“Sorry I’m late” says numpty owner (NO) to Equine Chiropractor (EC).
Scene II
EC: “lets go into the arena and I’ll have you walk and trot your horse around both directions while I have a look”
NO: “OK” - thinking: Please don’t let the rain beating down on the metal roof spook Rusty
NO walks horse around arena until they get to what is known as “the scary corner”, as if on cue, Rusty rears and dances sideways.
EC: “Keep going”
At this point, kindly RI/YO says to NO “why don’t I walk him around and you can observe with EC?”
NO: “Thanks” – thinking: Bless your heart, I don’t know if I could keep walking without the use of my knees
EC: “he’s uneven on the right rear – why don’t you hop on bareback and you’ll be able to feel it?”
It is obvious that EC, clever though she appears to be, is completely oblivious to the look of horror on the now slack-jawed NO’s face. Did she not just witness the fairly major spook?
NO: “well, I’m just a beginner and I’ve never ridden bareback”
EC: “OK, do you mind if I hop on and I’ll explain what I mean?”
NO: “please do” and gives EC a leg up
Scene III
EC is seen walking and trotting blithely around the arena – bareback – on a horse she met 15 minutes ago – did she not notice the spooking? . They do circles, serpentines, etc. and act as if “the scary corner” doesn’t exist. EC chats calmly to NO the whole time and does not appear to be even close to crying.
Rusty: what a treat, someone who knows what they’re doing. I can see now there is nothing to be frightened of with this confident goddess guiding me.
NO: thinking: she is amazing – my new hero. Why can’t I ride like that?
EC: “there’s nothing seriously wrong and he’s not in any pain – we’ll just keep working on stretching his muscles so he can work from behind better. He’ll like a good canter – that will be easier for him than trotting, lots of big circles, lead changes, you know.”
NO: thinking: is she going to suggest I canter bareback? Should I confess that my cantering consists of taking the reins in one hand, grabbing the safety strap with the other, and holding on for dear life? And, that I barely make it once around the school, never mind making a circle.
NO: “OK, I’ll work on that”
After completing her treatment of Rusty, the EC leaves and we see Rusty and NO looking admiringly at her as she gets in her truck and drives away. "My hero" they both think to themselves....
The End.
Scene I
A few minutes before 3:30 p.m. a professional looking (albeit overweight) woman drives into the yard. She gets out of the car and we see that she is dressed in a smart linen/silk skirt suit and crisp cotton blouse with snakeskin trimmed linen slingbacks. She takes a leather briefcase and heads for the tack room, saying “hello, Rusty” to a handsome chestnut gelding in a nearby box stall. Rusty thinks – voice sounds familiar, but don’t know who that is. Emerging a few minutes later is a dumpy middle-aged woman in breeches and a stained polo shirt. “Ah” says Rusty, “it’s my numpty owner”.
“Sorry I’m late” says numpty owner (NO) to Equine Chiropractor (EC).
Scene II
EC: “lets go into the arena and I’ll have you walk and trot your horse around both directions while I have a look”
NO: “OK” - thinking: Please don’t let the rain beating down on the metal roof spook Rusty
NO walks horse around arena until they get to what is known as “the scary corner”, as if on cue, Rusty rears and dances sideways.
EC: “Keep going”
At this point, kindly RI/YO says to NO “why don’t I walk him around and you can observe with EC?”
NO: “Thanks” – thinking: Bless your heart, I don’t know if I could keep walking without the use of my knees
EC: “he’s uneven on the right rear – why don’t you hop on bareback and you’ll be able to feel it?”
It is obvious that EC, clever though she appears to be, is completely oblivious to the look of horror on the now slack-jawed NO’s face. Did she not just witness the fairly major spook?
NO: “well, I’m just a beginner and I’ve never ridden bareback”
EC: “OK, do you mind if I hop on and I’ll explain what I mean?”
NO: “please do” and gives EC a leg up
Scene III
EC is seen walking and trotting blithely around the arena – bareback – on a horse she met 15 minutes ago – did she not notice the spooking? . They do circles, serpentines, etc. and act as if “the scary corner” doesn’t exist. EC chats calmly to NO the whole time and does not appear to be even close to crying.
Rusty: what a treat, someone who knows what they’re doing. I can see now there is nothing to be frightened of with this confident goddess guiding me.
NO: thinking: she is amazing – my new hero. Why can’t I ride like that?
EC: “there’s nothing seriously wrong and he’s not in any pain – we’ll just keep working on stretching his muscles so he can work from behind better. He’ll like a good canter – that will be easier for him than trotting, lots of big circles, lead changes, you know.”
NO: thinking: is she going to suggest I canter bareback? Should I confess that my cantering consists of taking the reins in one hand, grabbing the safety strap with the other, and holding on for dear life? And, that I barely make it once around the school, never mind making a circle.
NO: “OK, I’ll work on that”
After completing her treatment of Rusty, the EC leaves and we see Rusty and NO looking admiringly at her as she gets in her truck and drives away. "My hero" they both think to themselves....
The End.
Could have been me as th NO - they always go beautifully for these ever so expert full of confidence types dont they?
