What made you confident?

minkersmum

minkersmum

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Aug 4, 2009
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I've been back having lessons now for 6 mnths. Only had a couple of hacks out but despite feeling more confident (esp in the school having lesson) i still feel a bit on edge out hacking. When does this go? Does it ever?

I was on a wee highland today, he is very easy going but even when he was perking his ears up as if 'whats that?' at things i still felt a bit nervous even tho i know he is extremely unlikely to anything other than look.

Then coming down steep road he was sliding quite a bit and at one point he got a bit of a fright with the big slip he'd had to recover and again at that point i think if i'd been on my own i'd have got off and walked with him. No one else seemed that worried and the ride leader said 'don't wirry he won't go splat'. Am i just a big wet blanket? Will experience change this?

I really want to work towards getting my own in a couple of years and feeling like this is disheartening.

Any body offer advise as to when they started to feel confident?
 
To be honest - if you get your own horse and get to know him/her, and their own characters, then your confidence does increase.

I have had my lad now for nearly 9 years and getting on him is like putting on an old pair of comfy slippers. I know exactly what he is going to do, or will not do (unless he spooks at some scary "horse eating plastic bag!!!":D ) but apart from that, he is Mr Dependable.

I don't hack, as there is no good hacking near me, it is all roadwork, but I do sometimes take him down the lane that leads away from our yard. I also hack him around the fields, holding onto the rein buckle and not being afraid in the slightest.

And I was the most NERVOUS rider on the planet when I started lessons again when I was 27 years old (I'm now 39).

Stick with it. Seriously, if you are planning to get your own horse, then things will improve massively in the confidence department, as long as you buy something that is totally bombproof and you can trust totally. Speaking from experience here, because I used to quake when my RI put me on something that i had never ridden before, I used to wonder when I was going to get thrown off, even though nine times out of ten it never happened.

Hope things go well and you get your own horse - build a bond - trust him or her and you won't go far wrong

Rach
x
 
When I used to have regular lessons I was the opposite, I felt confident out hacking(blind faith me thinks!) and wibbly in the school! Only because I didn't realise how badly horses could spook!!! I used to see a hack as a "safe" option and much easier than working in the school! This all changed when I bought my own horse, as she was completely rubbish to hack out on at first - its taken us over four years to get where we are now! Even now, she doesn't really "do" hacking alone, she needs Joe for company!
I think a lot depends on where you hack and who you hack with too - I feel much better with OH hacking beside me and now we keep ours at home it is all off-road, so seemingly not as daunting as the busy roads we used to have to contend with. Having said that, there's nothing quite like being bolted with when your horse spooks at the neighbours cement mixer - lol, that was an experience - I didn't know she could go that fast (think steam coming out of her nostrils!!!) and didn't know she was capable of such fancy footwork at the top of the hill..............
Saying that, I think hacking gets better and easier with more practice - you learn such a lot from it me thinks.
 
minkersmum,
it's an individual thing so it doesnt work by judging it on how other riders are,its been unfair on self as well.

experience should help a lot,with being able to get used to those things,they become normal and to be expected,dont be hard on self or let it stop the ideas of getting a horse though.

am have been classed by support staff as very confident when riding [am not an advanced rider],due to having autism am don't have 'fear',and neither feel flesh/bone pain so all the things that affect how other riders may be when riding [such as thinking of falling off] are not experienced by self.
 
PoweredByHorses said:
am have been classed by support staff as very confident when riding [am not an advanced rider],due to having autism am don't have 'fear',and neither feel flesh/bone pain so all the things that affect how other riders may be when riding [such as thinking of falling off] are not experienced by self.
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Goodness, don't wish to hijack but (realising I sound like a numpty) I had no idea that autism could affect people in this manner. Does this mean that even in moments when you really ought to feel fear (i.e properly dangerous situations, not just a bit nervy) you don't?

Back to original question - it's like anything, the more you do it, the less nervous you are.
 
Falling off actually made me far more confident! I fell from a cheeky riding school pony and broke my arm quite severely, I was in pot for nearly 5 months! When I came back said pony was taken out of lessons as thought to be too spooky for lessons, I was gutted! I loved that pony so much, so my riding teacher said that if I worked at the weekends I could have her, cost free! (The actual pay was half as what the livery fee would be for me to have her on actual loan!) That silly spooky mare gave me more confidence than I could imagine, knowing that I had overcome both our fears and making her twice as good and learning both of us alot along the way! She was taken back to use in the riding school after nearly a year, but I was still her 'owner' and could ride her everyday if I wanted to! I outgrew her sadly and now she had been sold as a first pony and the little girl adores her! I do miss her lots though!
 
Riding LOTS of different horses. I've ridden 40+ different horses in the last year or so and it's taught me a lot which has made me more cinfident. Not falling off when they have tantrums or spook..... but also falling off and not hurting myself a few times made me more confident.

And my horse has made me more confident :) I've never been a nervous rider but I trust more than any other horse, even if he's silly sometimes. I've never felt scared on him.
 
Thanks for replies everyone.

KJW i think autism can manifest itself in many different ways. And i'm wondering if you live in the same place as me (too rainy!)

Melting Moments, i do feel like that, in my head i'm like right lets get out there and go for it, but its more things that are (seemingly) outwith the horses control like slipping on the road, tripping over stones on a stoney path, altho in my head i think 'its fine, its fine' my stomach literally launches into my throat!!

Method acting, i don't feel scared as such just a bit nervy. I have felt better recently as been on little fat ponies as opposed to the big athletic horses! Such a wimp!! But they are fun!!

Pale moon, how old is your lad now then, having had him 9 years. Is he your first horse??
 
I think the younger you start riding, the more confident you are - I started riding at the age of 4 (am 39) and I have never had confidence issues.

I also think confidence come from doing something regularly, and the more you do it, the more confident you become, especially if you ride the same horse, and know that you can trust him/her.

Don't stress over it, enjoy your riding, and one day you will wonder why on earth you stressed about it in the first place.

Enjoy and good luck!!:D
 
My confidence grew in leaps and bounds when I took over my daughters games pony. He got me off 5 times a day for the first 3 months, till my balance got better, he has now calmed right down which took 3 years, but I havent fallen off him for 3 years now. He used to take off in gallop from walk. Stop mid gallop. Spin, buck, NEVER reared.

It was a steep learning curve, but the more he got me off, the more determined I was to be a better rider. I was determined to get my quiet hack, as I loved him so much and refused to sell. I am very happy we persevered and got there in the end.

It made me a better rider and confident that I can handle anything he throws at me, which he doesnt do anymore of course. Well maybe occassionally.

I got black and blue, he is 11.3 and hard to balance on, very fast, but it really improved my riding, relationship with him and when you arrive it is all worth it. I now have my calm hack. I just never go in open spaces in case he gets too fizzy again.

This is an extreme way to get there and was not by choice initially but love him to bits and couldnt sell him. What a journey!:)
 
Kturner, 11.2? Are you small then? I love riding the ponies at the rs i go to even tho i'm 5ft 9! They are just so dif from the bigger horses!
 
i dont know what made me confident, growing up with decent horses must have been a big part of it though!

i did have a wobble about a week back, but im through that again now :)
 
minkersmum said:
Thanks for replies everyone.

KJW i think autism can manifest itself in many different ways. And i'm wondering if you live in the same place as me (too rainy!)

Melting Moments, i do feel like that, in my head i'm like right lets get out there and go for it, but its more things that are (seemingly) outwith the horses control like slipping on the road, tripping over stones on a stoney path, altho in my head i think 'its fine, its fine' my stomach literally launches into my throat!!

Method acting, i don't feel scared as such just a bit nervy. I have felt better recently as been on little fat ponies as opposed to the big athletic horses! Such a wimp!! But they are fun!!

Pale moon, how old is your lad now then, having had him 9 years. Is he your first horse??
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I know how you feel, I went through the same thing a few years ago, it could have quite easily made me sick, I am still a little iff when it comes to leading out of road because of a accident I had years ago but I will ride anything out on the roads.
 
I think it was riding heaps of different horses. I used to go on riding holidays where you would have a lesson and couple of hours hacking over rough hill country mostly in the same day.
Obviously you didn't ride the same pony twice a day, so I got used to riding different horses even when I was a rank beginner. Over a few years of spending a couple of weeks at this place every summer and every school holidays, I got brave and was able to ride ponies other riders were afraid of(nothing like being able to show off to make you confident!) and luckily for me, never got knocked back and was always able to handle whatever happened. Now whenever a horse misbehaves for whatever reason, I know I have been handling horses doing that since I was barely twelve and there's no reason I can't still do it!
 
minkersmum - yes he is 11.3 I am 5'6 and 9 stone. The height is the problem with the balancing. He is wide enough and takes up my leg fine. He tried cantering off the other day, but luckily listened and came back easy enough. So the weight is ok for him too. Would like him to be one hand bigger, but now I am used to his personality I wouldnt change him.:D

I figured that if I could get over my nerves with him I could ride anything after that and it worked. Out of hundreds I have ridden I didnt fall off once in 43 yrs......till him. Maybe because he is short it doesnt hurt so much. Wouldnt like to come off a 16.2, far too high.
 
I dont think I was ever un-confident, but now Im being rushed into stupid jump stuff at my RS and its starting to put me off jumping as i know its wrong, ask me in 6 months and I may be able to answer differently, about jumping that is:p
 
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