Why are people so nasty? Advice appreciated

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Baymare88

New Member
Nov 11, 2013
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Hi all,

So some of you may have seen that I was involved in quite a nasty accident last week with my friends horse.

Everything was fine, and I managed to get on my horse and just walk around the ménage.

I have recently found out that some people, who didn't even see what happened, have been quite nasty about it, blaming me, saying I basically all events which happened previously led up to the disaster and I caused it. Also, I over reacted and am 'milking' it. Bearing in mind I escaped with mainly bruises, and my left knee is still painful.

I have tried to move on and ignore it, but most people saying these things are too scared to even hack out on their own horses!

The next thing, I went to tell the owner what happened, and several people got in there first and told their version. The person who was with me put her straight.

I asked one of the this morning if they told her and basically said yes, it wasn't the horses fault, I caused it, oh and that I think I know it all and need to be more humble!!

Now, I don't think I know it all, nobody knows it all, I know my horse and do why I feel is best for her. Sometimes people ask my opinion, but I don't interfere, like some people do. I ask other experienced people for their opinions, and take them on board.

I just don't get some people! Why do people have to be so nasty!!!
 
That's some human beings for you. Rise above it. Take a lot of no notice.
 
Nothing to add to what Wally says, Baymare. Your accident was absolutely terrifying, and you're really brave to get on a horse again so soon... I couldn't ride for two years after an episode that was a thousand times less scary. They're probably just envious of your courage.
 
Rise above it, the owner knows what has happened from you and the other person, hopefully she will realise that these others weren't there and won't listen to a word they say about it.

Jealousy is the main cause of most bitching and so you just have to know you had a horrible accident which could have been worse and to be have the guts to get back on even your own horse so soon is a lot more than any of those probably would have managed, and I am sure they would have milked it.

Nod smile and know you're in the right and they have nothing better to do!
 
If your on a livery yard sadly there is a place that breeds these people. Someone somewhere will always have something to add, if they were not there how can possibly know what happened!
But you will get the shouldn't have been out, over horsed, lacks confidence, I think in some ways they comment on their own issues.
 
Well said everyone so far :stomp:

Sadly the horse world is I have found to be one of the most supportive, socialable communities but also one of the most bitchy, stressful worlds to be in daily :unsure:

Im sure all horsey people and liveries have been subject at least once in their horsey lives to mouthy r nasty people.

They are judging you which is unfair and getting very personal which is downright rude. They are making assumptions on soemthing they did not see so know nothing about and being malicious instead of supportive.

They are not worth being peed on if on fire so do not let them get to you and bring you down. The main thing is you are ok and the horse owner knows the truth :wink:
 
I know some real bitches in the horse world. I have been out with a group of girls who spent literally ALL night slagging off other people. It made me wonder how or why their lives are so empty that they have to spend so much energy analysing other peoples lives.

I know that it's hard, but you need to rise above it and just don't take any notice. It is their problem, not yours. Don't waste your brain space thinking about them, concentrate your thoughts on your lovely horse instead.
 
Thanks everyone. Really good advice.

I think some of it is jealousy as most people are too scared to hack out their own horses. I felt I needed to get on my horse as I was worried if I didn't, I would never ride again, she looked after me and was very good, considering she did have a week off!

All I'm going to do is take her in the ménage a few times this week and do walk work (my leg isn't up to doing any trotting at the moment) and go from there. The next step will be hacking out, the first time I will just do the route we have been doing as part of her rehab plan and go from there.

The owner had a lesson in her horse this morning, and he was good...but that was in the school, where he is actually quite good. I have lost a bit of respect for my instructor for allowing her to have a lesson before having him checked out, but I'm past caring to be honest.

I'm going to concentrate on my horse and getting her back into full work after a pretty rubbish year which has been full of injuries and vet visits! But hopefully my horse is in the mend and we can kick some butt next year!

I will just continue to keep my head down, be civil and rise above it :) and enjoy a quiet weekend with no trips to a and e :)
 
SOunds a plan, you just concentrate on your horse and you.. sod the others !
 
I think you are right, plough your own furrow and let the rest of them get on with it. I don't know why there is so much unpleasantness in the horse world but it is rife. I hated being on yards for that reason, the bullying and nastiness was corrosive.
 
Ignore it people never let the truth get in the way of story. You know what happened and that's the main thing
 
Ignore them, but also don't join them by putting them down by saying they are too scared to do what you do, as that does sound off.

I have been in your shoes, I had a very bad fall off a 17.2 tbx, my feet got stuck in the stirrups and I was dragged for a few hundred yards, my riding companion was told, no cantering as her horse was recovering, soon as she hit the path she cantered off, my horse took off and that was that. I was in bed all xmas with big chunks missing out of my leg where the stones I was dragged on ripped me apart.

A few days later the girl I was out with told everyone it happened because I held him back, I didnt, but it really upset me. The owner gave the girl a dressing down as she said no cantering, (she owned the other horse as well) and said she was sorry for her horse bolting like that... he had done it before when the mare cantered off.... (wish I was warned)
 
You know sometimes when I read on here about how much fun people have hacking about and doing horsey stuff with their friends I feel ever so slightly jealous that I am on my own here, with no horsey company.:redface:

Then I read threads like this and it reminds me of just how bitchy and evil some people can be, and for some unfathomable reason, far more so in the horse world? And them I feel all smug that I have my own little yard and don't have to put up with any of this sort of thing.

I wonder if anyone studying psychology or some such, has ever thought of doing a study and an in depth report on just why the horse world is full of so many unpleasant cretins? Would make interesting reading wouldn't it?:wink:
 
nat17 said:
Yeah.... :redface: Its the same in all gathering things... farmers bitch, fishermen bitch, mothers at the school gate... don't gather and all will be well lol
Click to expand...

I agree, mothers at school gates can be the pits:help:
 
Sorry to hear about your accident and do ignore the negative comments made by others people can be very nasty at times.

I have to add to this thread through that it is not ALL yards and not all horsey people. Hang around any group of people that have a passion for something and you will hear the same thing and not just in hobbies either.

I listen to the mums bitching outside the school and man they are nasty about each other and their kids:banghead: Football, swimming, art groups and work lets not forget just how nasty people can be at work.

My old yard was amazing if you just ignored the nasty people and my new yard is the same but I have not meet any nasties there yet but just a matter of time.

It is an easy subject to have an opinion on as well remember.
 

It is an easy subject to have an opinion on as well remember.

Well isn't everything? But knowing when to give it and when to keep it to yourself is that art of co-existence.......I often fail miserably in this area of social interaction. Probably just as well I'm not on a yard, I can almost read the furious and key burning threads that my presence would instigate right now!:bounce:
 
My hubby would love to live in the outback with no one for miles around whereas I do miss company after a while on my own.....

I thought I would miss the company at nights when on my own at new yard and thought be jumpy in the dark when there alone like have been at previous two yards even though yard owners' houses were beside the yards but I am not :biggrin:

Surprisingly I am fine and I think its cos of the courtyard apartments across the way and the lighting. There all lamps on the lane and in the carpark area and lights on a sensor in the courtyard and in the stable area then lights with switches out the back and in the arena and I dont have to get out to close the gates and lock them thinking someone climbed into the back seat of my car cos electric gates :bounce:
 
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