Why do people have to be so nasty

diplomaticandtactful

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Apr 25, 2003
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I have just unfriended someone on facebook. I looked after her horses when her dad died suddenly, when she went on holiday, when she moved I transported them and her stuff.

But she's turned into a yummy mummy, vegan, surrounded by clones, so if you say anything that doesn't fit within this mould you are totally trashed.

I am sick of all the nastiness. Diversity of opinion is good, if you don't agree with me, that's fine, but that doesn't give you the right to accuse me of abusing a horse just because years ago I rode in point to points and actually the horse enjoyed itself....I sat on the horse, not you. I remember how it felt, pulling like a train, scaring the shit out of me as we were going so fast. I didn't even have a whip with me as I knew I wouldn't need it!

I could have been rude in return, saying that rather than struggle with motherhood and a horse, she got shot of her horse pretty fast. That I feel a bit used by her behaviour. That since she cut and dyed her hair she seems to have lost her balance in terms of fairness and objectivity.

But what's the point. Better just to walk away, as we don't appear to have anything in common now. Thank god I didn't let her have Fleur.
 

Huggy

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Nov 11, 2018
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Oh we all know at least one in our lifetime! Self righteous, holier than thou, up on their soapboxes pains in the posterior. Never feel you have to justify yourself.
 
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diplomaticandtactful

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Apr 25, 2003
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child is a toddler so not young. It's the must feed horses this particular food, do this do that. I found her grazing here when she moved, the move lasted six months as she moved back to where she had been before as didn't like it here.

It is the insensitivity. She is very anti racing banging on about how it is the most awful thing in the world. well there is a lot that can be done to make it better, but horses get fractures in the field as well. Oh that's very rare she says after I have said I have had 2 die from fractures. Both in large fields in settled herds. Of course if they had been in separate paddocks and unable to kick each other that would have been un=natural way of keeping them....So it is rare for them to get fractures apart from in racing, so I have had two of them, so that makes me a shit owner. It is the intentional or casual insensitivity that got to me.

Also it is great to bang on about welfare and do nothing. for 20 years I was welfare officer at a major charity in my spare time, I did all the horses off the motorway, the travellers dumping horses, the home checks, plus Big Ears then Aimee did fundraising every month. I ran a branch of CP and was homing 30 cats a month, doing the home checks, vet runs etc, fundraising etc. Then I did a lot of overseas rescues of meat donkeys, 13 locally, 10 down in sussex, others to private homes. I still do home checks for various charities and some transporting. So age 63 I have done it for over 40 years and the one thing about welfare is that you do what you can, you work with who you can, but you won't ever solve it. It's much easier just to bang on about all the things you think are wrong then get off your royal backside and actually do it.

She knows nothing about that, but there wouldn't be much point in telling her.
 

diplomaticandtactful

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Apr 25, 2003
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It sounds like this has really upset you. Sending virtual hugs. x
It has. I did a lot to help her out when she moved next door and it just feels like a huge slap on the face. You can't reason with people who are always 'right' whereas my attitude on life tends to be more grey than black and white. It is better to achieve something rather than nothing through a flounce.
 

horseandgoatmom

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Dec 3, 2014
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Ma, New england
YOU CAN'T TALK REASONABLY TO AN UNREASONABLE PERSON.

YES I think we have all known one:(.

Sometimes people try to change lifestyles a bit. BUT sometimes. They get sucked in
Over the top.....

It definitely sounds like your better off
With no longer having her as a friend.
 
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newforest

Tomorrow can change what happens today
Mar 15, 2008
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A field
I would go one further and delete Facebook. But maybe a good cull is the way forward.
We drift apart it's life.
 

Ale

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Feb 8, 2012
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Just a thought but if she's changed drastically since her dad passed a way she could be struggling with the grief.
 
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Mary Poppins

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Just a thought but if she's changed drastically since her dad passed a way she could be struggling with the grief.
I agree with this. Grief can display in many different ways and she may well be angry at the world and taking it out on those closest to her.
 

diplomaticandtactful

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Apr 25, 2003
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No she was always fairly dogmatic before, just got more unreasonable. She has always had this is the feed you must use, this is this this is that
 

Huggy

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Nov 11, 2018
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I've never been on Facebook, and hearing what people say, I'm quite glad! My daughter came off 2 years ago, and says it's the best thing she ever did. NR forum's plenty good enough for me!
 

chunky monkey

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May 2, 2007
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...la la land
I resisted Facebook for a long time. But people kept making me think I was missing stuff and valuable information so I joined. I have used it to advertised a couple of things. I very rarely post but I have found some of the groups useful for information. Sometimes I have read stuff and want to reply but I resist.
 
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newforest

Tomorrow can change what happens today
Mar 15, 2008
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I resisted Facebook for a long time. But people kept making me think I was missing stuff and valuable information so I joined. I have used it to advertised a couple of things. I very rarely post but I have found some of the groups useful for information. Sometimes I have read stuff and want to reply but I resist.
It's designed to make you think you are missing out.
So many people use it, I need to follow. That's one reason I won't because it feels false to me.
I prefer email, text and old fashioned talking.
 
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