Would you be irratate by this??

Vicki100

Vicki100

Well-Known Member
Jun 12, 2009
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West Mids
Just wondered if im being angry for no reason really. I tend to loose my temper quickly when it comes down these sort of things so could with knowing if im being OTT or not :redface:

Sorry this is going to be quite a long explanation so make sure your sitting comfy :redface:

So basically its only me & 1 other lady on this yard, no problems really until now.

The YO has given us both one big field to 'call our own' and do what the hell we like with. Which i love, i can have my own little school and be totally in charge of my own grazing, which is great as i have 2 x Lami prone ponies.

So our field is halfed, half for me & half for other lady (Lets call her 'A')

'A' has a much bigger half than me, which is fine she has 3 horses where i only have 2 ponies. Ive never had a problem with this and have been happy enough with my grazing arrangments since April, its not lush rich grazing so both my 2 are looking fantastic weight wise.

'A' asked the yard owner if she could have more grazing after a month of being on her half of 'our' paddock. YO has ALOT of land so said she could graze some of his fields down until he gets some livestock.
'A' has let her horses munch down at least 5-6 acres worth of his land over the past 3-4Months and was very happy as 'A' likes her horses to eat loads & loads of grass.
'A' has recently had to move hers back onto her half of 'our' paddock because YO has brought aload of cows. Even though IMO theres plenty off grass in there for them she seems worried that there isnt enough.

I have always stayed on my half of 'our' field since we moved there April and never asked for anymore grazing as honestly i dont want anymore because i have got there weight just right.

BUT basically on my half of the field there is an additional little triangle paddock which is attached to my half. Now my plan was to use this for my 2's winter grazing as its got quite a lot of grass in Loads of shelter (Tree's/wood panel fencing/back wall of stable block) so would be absolutley ideal for them. As mine arent coming in at all this winter (Barr the odd day/night in) i would like them to have the extra warmth from the tree's etc and plus its nice long grass at the mo which will be great if it snows.

Me & OH asked the yard owner if he would mine us putting the Ponies on there for winter, he said 'Yes no problem go ahead its yours to do as you wish with!'
Then OH said to 'A' that we were going to use it in the winter as its ideal size for our little ones etc
'A' didnt really say anything apart from a nod really, but we presumed she agreed this would be a good idea.

OH set to work on the little winter paddock the other day, he brought new gate hinges as the gate was broken and on the floor he also got the trough working and set it all up ready for us in Novemberish time.

I was feeling really relieved at this point because there is no way 'My half' of the field could cope with mine on it through winter as its really quite sparce already & im feeding abit of hay now too.
'A' has been offered by YO to have the 2/3 acre field next to 'our field' if she really struggles for grazing, so i honstly thought everything was all sorted. 'A' is bringing hers in over night in Oct till Next April Anyway so wont need that much grazing.

Anyway went up the yard after work last night to find 2 of her horses on the small triangle paddock, she had set up all her eleccy fencing and also had broken the new gate things OH had brought for it, so it was half hanging off etc.

I am so racked off to be honest, we told her we wanted to use it for winter and made it VERY clear. She has been really greedy hogging all the other fields that YO let her use & now i feel shes taking over my bit.

Am i being pathetic? Or do you think i should be angry?

OH did send her a cross txt to ask why she has put the horses on there & why she has broken the gate that he spend 2 hours fixing.

Is it so much to ask for that i have that little triangle paddock? I mean it isnt big enough for her 16hh horses to be quite honest!
My 13.3h & Shettie just fit in there perfect.

Im not sure if she has kept them in there - will find out when i go up later. But i just feel totally miffed and now worried that im not going to have any grazing for them this winter :(

Sorry that was so long - BIG glass of Vino for you all :)
 
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I would be sooooo pee'd off if someone did that to me especially since they know it's your paddock for winter. I would go off at the deep end and speak to YO straight away. It's not on!
 
I'd be hopping mad!!!! especially at breaking the items you and OH had bought and put on the gate...how very very rude!!!!! You told her your plans!!! sorry I'm angry on your behalf :stomp:
 
Personally of be bouncing but hell and fury will kick off when I get to the yard later on anyway so I'm in a very easily pissed off mood anyway today :devil:
 
To be honest, from what you've said, sounds like you weren't explicitly clear in the first place – or that she didn't hear you properly if she only gave a nod. Can;t see the point in getting angry as it seems to be a breakdown of communication.

She also can't have 'hogged' all the other grazing if she asked the YO for it and he gave it to her and you both had your agreement with each of your respective 'halves' of the field (although it's impossible to have a 'bigger half' but I shalln't get bogged down in that!)

At the end of the day you're all adults. If you're not happy about something then speak up and approach her properly rather than send snotty texts or blow your lid. It's probably just a misunderstanding if you've always gotten on well until now. No point getting angry as it won't get you anywhere.
 
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Yes I would be irritated (doesn't this woman understand the concept of sharing?) and as suggested I would be taking it up with the YO. You are both paying for the grazing and you should both get what you want/need out of the deal.
 
I would take whatever fencing she has put in there down, put her horses back in her field and get a padlock for the gate so there is no way she would be able to but her horses in their.

I would say it is absolutely terrible, rude and completely out of order that she did this. You clearly stated what you were using that field for and the YO as offered her extra grazing, could you possibly tell the yard owner about this and possibly ask if needed if you could have a tiny bit of extra grazing for the winter since she is taking yours?
 
i am fiery and hot tempered too but to be honest i think the coolest of people would be down right furious with this! what a damn cheek! i would say to her i suggest they are removed asap and the cost of the labour/parts for the fence to be fixed paid up too. geesh, some people!
also - this isnt what you are quibbling about but out of interest, as she has more grazing than you do, are you paying less? i would quite frankly be speaking to YO and saying lookey here - i have only ever used this little bit for my money where as SHE has used xyz plus some and is now using my bit - i want a refund or a new agreement or HER putting in the bloody place!

how annoying!
 
I would lead them all back into their own paddock and send her a text saying, your horses escaped into the bit I had sectioned off for winter grazing but don't worry I have put them back.

I would also say, they also broke the gate so please could you repair it asap.

Your not irrational vickii! I would be peed off too!
 
Vicki100 said:
Then OH said to 'A' that we were going to use it in the winter as its ideal size for our little ones etc
'A' didnt really say anything apart from a nod really, but we presumed she agreed this would be a good idea.
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While everybody else has suggested Vicki takes matters into her own hands and removes what 'A' has put there - surely the above needs to be considered properly???

'Presuming' somebody has understood what you say is quite different to making something explicitly clear. Flying off the handle, shouting & running to the YO will achieve nothing. Approach her in a mature manner and explain that it seems wires have been crossed - she may not realise Vicki/Vicki's OH had started preparing the field, especially if it's on Vicki's side.

If she kicks off/refuses to move THEN I would go to the YO.

Communication is key & flying off the handle because communication was ineffective in the first place achieves nothing....
 
Im glad im not being totally unreasonable :)

RM - Can see what your saying, no point in being angry at all. I do find these things wind me up no end, im usually a really laid back sort :redface:
Our friendship has been a bit frosty for a couple of months now, she sends me snotty txts daily, which i can usually shrug off but this has just really got to me now :(

Tazzy - Yes we pay exactly the same :( I think because she has 3 she might think she has a right for more grazing than me?

YO is really nice, but i wouldnt be sure what to say to him. He hates hassel and politics. The yard was 'shut down' a few years ago for that reason, he hated people winging at him constantly that things werent fair. He allowed me & 'A' on because he said we seemed like reasonable people.

I dont want to mither him or make him regret letting us on the yard.

*Sigh* I hate all this. I couldnt sleep at all last night :(
 
she pays the same for 3....I dont think I'd be happy with that but guess i'm used to yards where its per horse not how much land...but wait she gets more grazing too!! I'm confuzzled now.. but its easy done :giggle:

Maybe just speak to 'A' and spell out that you are using that area for winter and you would appreciate it if she grazed her horses else where on that land that YO has told her she could.
 
liz_scarlet said:
she pays the same for 3....I dont think I'd be happy with that but guess i'm used to yards where its per horse not how much land...but wait she gets more grazing too!! I'm confuzzled now.. but its easy done :giggle:

Maybe just speak to 'A' and spell out that you are using that area for winter and you would appreciate it if she grazed her horses else where on that land that YO has told her she could.
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Sorry Liz thats me being confusing. We pay the same amount Per Horse, so yeah technically she does pay more because she has more horses!

LOL sorry :redface:

She is having 1 put down in October so will be paying equally then.
 
I would be furious but perhaps she didn't hear what you said and didn't realise you were going to use it.

Why not have a friendly word with her.
 
Could you also try putting a sign on the gate into your winter grazing clearly stating what it's for and that t's intended for your horses only, that way she wouldn't be able to use an excuse like I didn't hear you or I never got your text.
 
Vicki100 said:
Sorry Liz thats me being confusing. We pay the same amount Per Horse, so yeah technically she does pay more because she has more horses!

LOL sorry :redface:

She is having 1 put down in October so will be paying equally then.
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ok that makes much more sense :biggrin: sorry if i was being thick I'm suffering from Friday syndrome!
 
I think its nice to be able to vent about stuff on here, hell I've been tempted a few times, its tough sharing a field/ yard one on one, on occasion.
You can't always agree 100%, and I, like my horse, am naturally submissive in situations, anything for an easy life. This for the most part works out fine when one owner is more dominant than the other, but it can be worse when you feel agrieved at a situation and are usually the less directive in situations. Its a break from the norm and can be tough for the other person who is used to taking the lead (and there's nothing wrong with that).

Importantly, don't over react with her. Don't move her horses. Calmly approach her and think about the long term implications. Like RM says, communicate maturely, don't play games. (and I'm not suggesting that this is what you were thinking of doing btw).
Its tough sharing one on one, you need to spend time apart so you don't get in each other's pockets and start to irritate! I try and keep a healthy distance from my field sharer. We do socialise together so sometimes its difficult but she works different shifts so that helps.

ETA - remember why you both moved there together in the first place. These sort of friendships can turn sour, but you can equally sort it out by just not being in each other's pockets so much, but have a mutual respect fo reach other. You say its been going this way for a couple of months, I really hope you can sort this out as it sounds like a bigger issue than just the recent field problem.
 
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