"You haven't done very much with him have you"

[MrA]

People say this to me about Ale and I just shrug.

I wonder if my pony is unhappy because he hasn't been to a show, or hasn't been xc, or been on lots of 3 hour hacks or sponsored rides??

My aim for next summer is to go on some nice long hacks and enjoy him. I did want to take him to a show but I honestly think It will blow his mind (he doesn't cope well with new situations)

Perhaps one day I would like to take him xc to try it, but I saw all the girls leaving for it the other morning and it all seemed so stressful!

Not sure what the point of this thread is, just someone said this to me again today and I wondered if I'm maybe wasting him,
or seeing his potentional

 

[Gattino]

The 0nly thing that matters is that you enjoy what you are doing with him. Honestly horses don't have great ambitions to go do different things, some enjoy certain disciplines more than others and do seem to have fun doing different things. But they are equally happy to not go to shows or xc.

You know him best, you are not wasting him as he is with you so is one very lucky pony to have someone who loves and cares for him so much.

Don't think too much about what others say and do, do what you like and when you want to, there is no rush

 

[MAC66]

Couldn't agree with you more, Gattino

 

[One for fun]

I'm sure Ale is tearing his mane out in frustration at not being competed every weekend and really hates his pleasant, sane and loving life.

I'm the same as you, I don't want to compete, I don't want to be hacking for hours, I don't want to be going on every fun ride there is. I'm a happy hacker and smartie is delighted with the arrangement. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for having a good time with your horse

 

[Kite_Rider]

Right young lady get that idea out of your head right now. Ale has a loving owner who couldn't care for him more if she tried. Hes a horse and a haflinge at that I very much doubt he cares if you take him here there and everywhere. He's got everything he could want or need with you and you both enjoy what you do. Thats all that matters. For what it's worth we have people on my yard who never ride never mind going out and about. Their horses are well cared for they get a lot of time and attention from their owners and are happy healthy horses and thats what is important. Carry on ignoring anyone who comments otherwise x

 

[Skib]

Am a bit puzzled as you posted about your rosettes as if it were important to you. I think you are being conditioned by your yard culture and wanting or wondering how you fit in on a yard where other people think that "doing" something with a horse involves getting visible achievements and public approval.
One part of you seems to want public admiration for your horse. Some time back you wanted a sharer who could jump him. When a horse clears a jump that is a measurable achievement. Dressage is less so - scores being partly subjective. Hacking (on this thread) seems to be rated according to the hours hacked which those of us who hack all the time know is a meaningless measure. After all, the fitter the horse and the safer the weather and the clearer the track, the faster you will cover the ground. Schooling a horse in canter out hacking takes less time than a gentle dawdle on an old horse on a scorching summer day.
What I do know, particularly since I took my canter skills into the school and rode fancy stuff, is that hacking day in day out year round doesn't win one any status or respect on a yard. I guess that stems from way back when a horse was used as a means of transport. If you hack, you are doing a boring job - and incidentally doing good to the horse. We turn up, we ride, we bring the horse back. That's it. Nothing to report here or at the yard.
I suggest you write another post Ale. List the reasons you keep a horse. Then list the things you like about Ale in particular. Then list your three best moments riding him.
You posted because you wanted us to tell you that you didnt need to compete or ride cross country - But part of you wants recognition that goes beyond this forum and I could have written a post encouraging you to do that. Just like I encourage the girls on the yard to push on and get their BHS Stages.

 

[Kite_Rider]

Skib I'm not being funny here but how on earth do you know why Ale posted?
Ale is a young lady with a lovely horse who she has every right to be proud of, not everyone on here is as confident as others and sometimes when people comment in a negative way be that in real life or on a forum it can knock people a bit. I've had people in the past who have told me that I should be doing more with Belle and it does begin to make you doubt yourself and I'm a fifty plus old bat who as a rule couldn't give a monkeys chuff what anyone says to me, so can only imagine that Ale posted on here for a bit of confirmation that what she's doing is as she thinks an ok thing to do, but I would never begin to assume I know what she or anyone else is thinking.

 

[KP nut]

Humans are naturally goal oriented as we are predators. Horses aren't as they are prey animals so all they want is to survive one day to the next.

One of the reasons I like training youngsters is that I am far too goal oriented and horses teach me to 'just be' sometimes. So don't think of your yard mates as 'succesful' but as un-evolved!!!

 

[Skib]

True I have no idea why she posted. I should have quoted her post directly. Apologies.
"People say this to me about Ale and I just shrug.
I wonder if my pony is unhappy because he hasn't been to a show, or hasn't been xc, or been on lots of 3 hour hacks or sponsored rides??"

 

[horseandgoatmom]

Am a bit puzzled as you posted about your rosettes as if it were important to you

I think I am in the same boat as ALE. I loved her post about ribbons and could not wait to
post mine too. I don't chase them and they are the "icing on the cake but I'm really proud of them
and thrilled to have them.

I have had that said to me constantly about Andi by someone "you don't do much with her"
If she was never ever ridden again she is HAPPY HEALTY AND FINE! WELL LOVED
AND WELL CARED FOR!.

ALE don't think your doing bad by your horse.
I bet if you look around and watch those people making the comments and their horses.
NEITHER OF THEM IS REALLY HAVING ANY FUN.
Your horse has a lovely pleasant expression - he is happy!

Don't let it get to you.

 

[Trewsers]

Yard culture (well the two I was on) dictates that competitions / events are very much the done thing. But, there was also a section of pootlers like OH and myself. It is easy to let folk question your motives for keeping horses. I lost count of the amount of people who tried in a not-very-discreet way to tell me madam was wasted on me! lol I was old enough to let it go over my head - most of the time. But I did wonder sometimes and its only natural to ponder these things when your horse means so much to you. I'd waited twenty years to be a horse owner - so quite sensitive!!! Ale will be happy doing anything or nothing I am sure. My Storm was built for xc and jumping as I was told so often. She is 19 this time and has had what I think a good life. Company, turnout, good food and has been loved to within an inch of her life. I know Ale has the same - tell him to give Storm a ring and I'm sure they'd agree its a grand life.

 

[MrA]

Thanks everyone, I wasn't looking for reassurance as such, despite what I said in the last line, I was more curious why people feel the need to say it and why it is seen that way, I could go up to them all the time and say "gosh, you do a lot with your horse don't you!" But I don't because that would be a bit weird! I just don't know why people need to point out the obvious and why they always say it in a negative way? As though in some way its almost causing him harm from not doing more with him.

Skib I don't really understand what point you are trying to get across. Am I proud of those rosettes? Yes of course. Am I proud of my horse? Yes very.

I actually posted because of curiosity, annoyance and slight insecurities rather than wanting to brag that I don't compete, I'm not proud of that haha.

 

[MrA]

Also as you asked skib

The reasons I keep a horse:
Companionship, fun, for the challenge, to learn new things.

The things I like about Ale.
(there are so many) but mainly he is so full of character and the small ways he shows me affection when he is not an affectionate horse. Like the odd time he will gently blow on my face or rest his chin gently on my back, or follow me in the field just to graze near me.

My best 3 times riding him.
1. The first time I ever sat on him -wow
2. Sitting on him again after him recovery
3. Every other time I have ridden him

 

[joosie]

I don't think it's fair to assume that people who compete think they are in some way "superior" to those who don't. I am a happy hacker at heart, but I love the fun and challenge of competing and because I'm a perfectionist when it comes to riding I like to feel like I am always improving in some way - and how I perform out competing is one of the ways I measure my progress. I would never look down on someone because of what they do or don't do with their horse. Most of my boss's liveries and students compete, but none of us have anything negative to say to the ones who don't. Unfortunately Ale I just think you are just unlucky with the people on your yard, because I personally have never talked to a competition rider who looks down on everyone else!

 

[MrA]

I don't think they even mean it really, perhaps it is more the norm to them that if you have a horse, you compete it, you take it out and about, box it out to places a lot.

 

[Mary Poppins]

Since I have stopped caring about what other people think I have been so much happier. To be honest, I don't think that anyone else really cared anyway - it was all in my head and I felt judged to be inadequate when really no-one was judging me at all.

I have always struggling with hacking. Today I felt like going for a hack but didn't want to battle my nerves so I took him for a brisk in-hand walk for an hour around our parkland. It was lovely - I felt exercised, Ben enjoyed it and I really enjoyed watching his reactions and expressions to the things we met. I miss these when I am sat on his because I am too tense and worried about what he might do.

For 2 whole years I didn't walk him out in-hand because I thought people would laugh at me and think I was stupid. But that was just my perception, in reality no-one laughs at me, no-one thinks that I am stupid and everyone is pleased that I am enjoying my horse so much. I think that most horsey people are far too wrapped up in themselves and their own horses to really care too much what others are doing. The problem is that it's easy to compare yourself to other people who are doing different things to do and that is what can make you feel inadequate.

 

[joosie]

Totally agree MP. I think we all have a tendency to be sensitive about our horses and assume that other people care more than they do. The key to true enjoyment is to just let go I take my scruffy muddy 12hh pony out for in-hand walks and nobody bats an eyelid.

 

[horseandgoatmom]

I don't think they even mean it really, perhaps it is more the norm to them that if you have a horse, you compete it, you take it out and about, box it out to places a lot.

That is a perfect way to feel!

I can totally understand it bothering you when they said something though.

 

[sjp1]

Stressful though it is, I do love the feeling AFTER I have competed!!! Well, that was before our two injuries, so just a distant memory really!!! I think people on yards encourage each other to do stuff. I have never felt pressured or that my horse was missing out - lets face it, all horses would far prefer to be out eating grass than competing, but I think generally people feel safer with like minded people.

Of course Ale isn't missing out - but you might be if you wanted to do stuff with him. Take it as a compliment that people are interested in you and your horse and take it as comraderie and a desire for you to join in with them - nothing more sinister.

 

[MrC]

You do what you want with your horse and if you don't want to go Hunting or XC or SJ then don't. If you don't enjoy those things then don't do them.

I could give Kia a bute and go SJ XC hunting or on all his favourite Long hard common rides and he would be having s blast and so would I but I don't feel the need to anymore so I pop the odd jump at home, go for lots of long hacks and do some schooling both bridled and bridleless in summer

Yes some horses thrive on having a job to do hence why I couldn't completely retire Kia as he gets bored and fractious but what we do keeps him ticking over and we are both happy which is the main thing