Family dilema... am i being selfish??

I wouldn't have time after finishing work to collect my daughter from a childminder, do the ponies, do homework and reading with Esme, for her to be able to do after school clubs and pursue her own interests as well as get the dinner ready and sit down together and just relax. Oh and do the dinner and housework etc.

It would be different if hubby had a job with normal hours to share the load.

How much quality time with Esme would I get? Nowhere near enough. My mum worked full time and had to travel to work. She left at 7.30am and got home at 6.30pm and my bedtime was 7.30-8pm leaving only an hour or so a day with me. Not something I wanted for my daughter.
 
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You have to do what is right for you and your family. Everyone has different lives, different priorities, different levels of help and support and different levels of energy.

Both I and my OH work full-time (with extended unpredictable hours), have a 3 year old child, one horse, a menagerie of other animals and no family support nearby. We have our horse on part-livery and only get to ride at the weekends. I am permanently exhausted and meet myself coming backwards most of the time. But, everyone is happy, and it works for us. If it didn't, then I would change things.

If it were me I would sit down and draft out how you might want to do things, then give it a go and see if it works. If not, then make changes until you are doing what you feel is right for you and your family.

And no, you are not being selfish at all :biggrin:
 
I think that it all depends how much you want it. I have 2 children under 5 and I work 3 days a week. I have just got my first horse and I manage to ride most days as well. While it is true that my children do not see me all the time, every second I spend with them is quality time and that is what I think is important. My youngest goes to an excellent nursery part time, and my eldest has a childminder for the days where I cannot get him from school. Both are always asking when they are going to their respective places and I think that it is healthy for them to be happy and confident in places outside the home.

My horse is on full livery which makes a huge difference, but everyday I go down to see him to either ride or just groom. I don't leave until my kids are fast asleep which means that I often don't get there until 8pm, but the school is floodlit and I like the peace and quiet.

I had to give up my previous horse to have my kids and couldn't wait to get back into it. Ben (my horse) is my passion and my escape and exactly what I need to enable me to run around and look after everyone else. I never, ever get the chance to sit down and do nothing, but I don't miss that at all. There is no reason why you cannot have a family, career and horses - you just need to juggle everything and make sure that everyones needs are being taken care of when you are not there.
 
It's tricky.

I sit on the fence as i sound as though i have a lot on too but i am always acutely aware of what i need to prioritise when.

I have 5 children aged 12,9,6,5 and 3. I work p/t, sometimes f/t from home and I have three ponies, 2 on grass livery one on diy. I am starting my OU degree in february.

I try and work it so that the horses get seen when the children are all at school/pre-school. I have also decided to go from three to two. (one grass, one DIY)

If I was you though I would wait until your 4month placement is over before bringing your mare back into work and you will have a better idea as to your stability job wise and distance to travel etc then. For me things got a lot easier once my youngest started pre-school as I have never really liked/wanted/had childcare for them otherwise.
 
Thanks again i have decided to leave bringing the mare back into work until after my placement as i really do wasnt to do whats best for my son which is having mummy around as much as possible esp when he's so young!

However issues have developed today & mare has had to come in urgently due to lameness :cry: so shes at a local diy livery yard & i have a good friend there who will help out, hopefully by end of January i can put her back out again with her slightly shocked foal who has lost her mummy a little earlier than i had hoped! She is 6 months so should be fine :smile: and on checking tonight she is settled down with her buddy!
 
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