How did you introduce your better half to your parents?

eventerbabe

Well-Known Member
Dec 16, 2004
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And how do you broach subjects like christmas with a mum who will have a fit if you aren't there?!

OH and I are at the stage of parental introductions. He's met the boys (toby LOVED him!!) and parents are next. My birthday is coming up so i wondered about my birthday meal? But my best mate thinks that is too much pressure on OH as he's quite shy. So maybe brunch on a sunday?

We've also been looking ahead to christmas. He suggested his parents for christmas day as I think my parents will be going to my aunt and uncles again. Then boxing day with my parents. But i know my mum. She's throw a fit at the suggestion of my not being there. How can I convince her i'm not a little girl anymore and that i'm also not deserting my boyfriend at christmas to suit her?!
 
I met OH's mum and dad early on really - not the best of starts as I had drunk too much lager and had been meant to go to my own home but ended up with OH being a gent and insisting upon looking after me which meant I missed the bus home and had to go to his parents house. We were only just turned 17 and it was our 3rd date - anyways, when we arrived, I was sick:frown: but his mum didn't seem to mind and then she lent me a nightie and put me to bed. What happened after that I won't say:giggle::giggle: Lets just say Mr T was very badly behaved and his father had to have a stern word later in the middle of the night:wub:
Mr T met my parents the same weekend - all very uneventful at our house!
 
I brought my OH along to the weekly pub quiz, quite informal and friendly. He was panicking because he didn't have the best reputation! :redface:

I met his parents at their house, just went round for a cuppa.

Not sure how to sort Christmas as I'm very much a homebird and love being at my parents' house! So that's what we've done for the last 3 years, a little selfish of me I know but OH seems to like to get away from his parents! :giggle:
 
As for the Christmas thing... Well, I would spend it with your other half - surely it won't kill your parents to spend one year alone? Maybe suggest seeing them Boxing Day?! Or maybe ask them to your place Christmas Day evening? Or go away - spend it on a beach somewhere ?
 
Parents have to get used to it - that's life! But we generally manage by having Christmas dinner early or late, and then another one in a pub or something on Christmas Day if there's only one child at home. Relatively easy for us, as my parents lived about 6,000 miles away, so only one set of parents to deal with.
 
I was lucky. OH and I have been best mates since school so when we actually hooked up they already knew him well and liked him.

As for Christmas etc, I'm lucky again as my family know how much I love them but that I do what suits me and they support me in my choices as they are realists.
 
I actually never expected to get serious with my now-husband so I told my parents I was seeing a bloke who worked in advertising, who I'd met in a shire horse centre! We'd actually met online and I didn't want to tell them that. So when they did meet Ian, who works in finance and has no interest whatsoever in horses, they were a bit surprised.
 
Usually when there coming down the stairs after a drunken night :')


that sounds so bad! Im a good girl I promise
 
parents live in Germany, so he just came with me at Christmas, no big deal or commotion. think I met his mum by getting into the back of the car which was en route to drop a lost cat home or something. again, no big deal. I think parent-meeting is often blown out of proportion. it's not that hard :)
 
parents live in Germany, so he just came with me at Christmas, no big deal or commotion. think I met his mum by getting into the back of the car which was en route to drop a lost cat home or something. again, no big deal. I think parent-meeting is often blown out of proportion. it's not that hard :)

This.

I just took my OH home... Simples :)

That's said, my younger brother is having a traumatic time introducing his gf to us... I wish he wouldn't see it as such an issue!
 
I'm always more worried about meeting their parents !

Least I don't have to worry about them meeting mine!
 
I was trying to remember meeting my OH parents, I think I met his dad at uni before we were going out, he offered to go get a bulb for my bedroom light or when he picked me up at the station for some random party at their house, I can't remember meeting his mum but presumably had at some point before we were going out... Maybe at an airport on the way back from a fieldtrip.. So the same for my OH, by the time he came up to my mums to go to a work do he had already met them a few times..

As for christmas - my OH came to mine the first time after he discovered his mum her partner and his sister were all going skiing without him by looking at the calender in his mums kitchen... We then did most christmas days at my mums because its when my dad will be over at my grans and my sister will be there but have done a couple of christmas days with his family - I hate it because it's not what we usually do and they do things in a weird order!
 
I had been seeing my OH for about 3 months when I had a major fall out with the girls I was house sharing with as a result of my neighbour opposite doing very inappropriate things out of his window when I was walking past. This led to him being arrested and my housemates wishing to terminate our contract immediately. I was then effectively homeless and also pretty scared of what the neighbour was going to do as his actions were targeted towards me. I was very upset and just needed to head home for a few days to get away. My OH looked after me and drove me home which is when he met my parents. I then moved in with him and we left the area about 6 months later. Pretty dramatic at the time really. My parents loved him, mainly I think because he was a few years older than me, had a good job and a nice car!
 
Just take him home it will be fine. When I took Mrs PH home for the first time all my brothers and sisters were their 6 plus husbands etc there ate loads of us. Mrs PH was nervous and we were all crammed round the table with Mrs PH on a folding type chair. Poor girl leaned back and the chair collapsed, legs up in the air knickers on display when older brother pipes up you see Mum he always picks the classy birds. Well it was a good ice breaker.
 
I'm loathe to take him home as theres no 'escape route' so to speak! Parents live in the middle of nowhere. My dad is pretty laid back, my sister reckons he'll love my OH. But my mum doted on my ex. And she can be a very harsh judge so I don't want her backing him into a corner! My initial thoughts was taking him home for tea one sunday but best mate said she didn't think that was a good idea (she knows my mum well!) hence asking here :)

Idea for christmas is his parents on the day, mine boxing day. Both in one day not an option as they live a few hundred miles apart!
 
I didn't have to introduce my ex to my parents. They already knew him from when he dated my sister :ninja:
 
I reckon Trewsers suggestion is a good one - going away together establishes you as a separate (and adult) couple and there is no favouritism in whose parents you've decided to spend your "first Christmas" with. It sounds like you've already identified that picking "the other side" is going to be a red flag.

Regarding the introductions, perhaps soften up your Mum in advance. Explain you've found someone you are fond of and think a lot of and it is important to you that she accepts that choice (you'll find better words than that, I've expressed it clumsily). I think that an ongoing dialogue with Mum, so that she knows a bit in advance, is taken into confidence with you and is as onside as possible has got to be key. She's got to want to like him for your sake before she meets him. Managing expectations is the way forward!
 
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