how life's ups and downs have affected your riding and your relationship with horses

thanks everyone, as always it is nice to know im nt alone in this. I have definately realised that my yard is seriously affecting everything, I did rent my own place one but was on my own so got a bit lonely! Anyway Im going to see a new yard tomorrow- its not an ideal location for riding out i dont think but i think they have lights in the school which is soemthing, will keep you all posted. I definately want to stop the guilt thing.. why do us gals feel so guility for enjoying ourselves.. im not a wife or a mother so I do not know what it is all about. I want to be able to get down the yard as a way of chilling and enjoying time with my horse- for most of the last few years it ahs always been, i ride when i can fit it in, oh goes for me when i get fed up with it all- then before i know it for one reason or another i havent ridden in ages and then the whole guilt thing starts again.

xxx
 
How life's ups and downs have affected your riding

Just goes to show how many of us lack confidence or suffer from low self-esteem. I actually believe that bullies have the least confidence/self-esteem of all of us, and that is how they get through life.

Those of us who don't resort to bullying can sometimes find it hard to believe this, and blame ourselves for "not coping" when a lot of the time, if we could only remind ourselves that bullies come crashing down eventually when they just go too far, and come up against someone who is not prepared to put up with their nonsense.

I've seen that happen in the past, and wanted to clap, loud and hard because the bully had finally got their comeuppance. Then I felt sorry for them, as they were so shocked and upset! What am I like! ..... :( :)

Roseanne xxx
 
Ive only recently started riding again, and cant wait for the spring and summer, the days last so much longer and go slower, I hate the winter.
 
yes your right about bullies lacking in self esteem. Very very insecure, but is hard to feel sorry for them when they make your life a misery.... its all learning isnt it. im realising that i have to try and get strong as this situation will happen all my life, in different circs.
 
When I was a lot younger I was out most weekend at competitions.

After I left ponies and went onto park hacks, I got more busy with life, and then ended up having a fall which broke my back. I swore I would never ride again and my confidence was 0% around horses. If I was at an A&P show and a horse came near me I'd shake with fear and nearly have a break down (get sweaty, shake, panic etc) and I had to get away from horses.

I spent 7 years away from horses and missed it something bad. I didn't trust them, but I wanted to get back to where I once was.

I rode my neighbours Standardbreds a few times and plucked up the courage to buy a TB off the track. I had someone who was going to help me re-educate her so I was sorted. Perfect plan... I'd school her along and build the brilliant bond with her in the process. In the end, her and I just didn't gel and I had to get rid of her before she broke me again. She really did rattle what little confidence I had. She got the better of me, and in hindsight it was the wrong thing to do (buy her) but it lead to me finding Troy...

I then brought Troy and he's been such a fantastic companion. I could never part with him - ever. He's built my confidence up enough to take on projects over winter when I have time to school green horses.

I also have Dudley who I'm schooling along slowly. He's intelligent though shy, but has that X factor to make it far.

My day job is a dairy farmer, so I don't have much time to myself during the days, let alone spend much time with my boys. I feel bad at times because I'm not able to ride as often as I'd like to. And if I have time I'm usually too tired to ride so lack the drive there.

Now that daylight savings is in full swing here and the days are getting longer I'm able to ride in the evenings.

I don't have a partner, nor kids. I'm married to my job which occupies the majority of my time and energy.

I have a plan, that within 2 years I want to compete in Horse Of The Year here in New Zealand.

Being an adult rider and getting back into horses isn't an easy thing. I found the only way I could really do it was to push myself and find an instructor who I trusted to do the right thing by me ... someone who understood.
 
I spent all of my time thinking of or around horses basically from birth until I was twenty or so (I sold my last horse after I met my hubby, got a mortgage had three kids, long term health issues, lots of stress yadda yadda). When I did have horses, it was mostly about how high I could jump, or how fast i could ride bareback, or gymkhanas, ODE's, or riding the difficult horses everyone else was scared of.

I never let myself think about how much I love horses, it was too painful knowing that I couldn't be around then (time and money factors). I'm an artist and spent my whole childhood only ever drawing horses, but in the past 15 years I have only drawn a few, its weird, but creating art is very emotional and horses were just too hard.

Now, after having a beautiful horse back in my life for just a few weeks, well my depression is better, I actually have some relaxing "me" time away from home, and I am thoroughly enjoying the bonding experience and companionship of visiting my horse every day, grooming her, feeding her, giving her reiki and pranic healing (she's a rescue), and doing lots of NH groundwork with her. I have had her since the beginning of December, but have only ridden five times - each time has been amazing and wonderful and fantastic for my confidence, but it's actually our relationship and companionship that is most important to me, rather than what we can achieve in the saddle. Just being around her brightens my day. And I can't wait to start painting horses again, so she's inspired me in that direction as well:)

To make sure that I keep it stress free, comfortable and fun, I have changed all her gear over to western, and I am teaching both of us western riding:D LOL wer'e having fun and we certainly won't win any competitions, but that the whole point!

She's given me confidence that at 38, life still can be fun and enjoyable doing something that I love (rather than things that a wife and mother 'needs' to do). I feel like my life is coming back into balance at long last....although I think a standardbred gelding is in my future to make that balance perfect:)
 
I work as a writer and sometimes that's meant I didn't have the income to support my riding. But I'm fortunate to have a job that lets me take two lessons a week and even be able contemplate owning my first horse. Riding does so much for me. Just walking into the barn will immediately lift my spirits higher than what they were. If I'm happy, I'm REALLY happy. If I'm stressed, then being around horses will help. Even hand-grazing is such a pleasure - something I would have killed to be able to do as a kid. Riding lets me challenge myself in ways I never have. I'm challenged physically because it takes some endurance to ride. I'm challenged mentally because I'm not a fearless rider, so each new pattern or raising a jump a centimeter higher requires me to steel myself and master my nerves. The feeling of triumph when I do this successfully is unlike anything I've ever known and I think there's a smile when you've ridden well that's the happiest and most open smile we can have.
 
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