Life turned upside down and moving on :(


With out my boys life would be bland
Apr 16, 2009
I don't really post anything private on NR but you guys really are so lovely when things just don't go right or when things are fab and you just want to tell someone that understands but hey ho here it goes.

My OH and I have been together for 11 but just before Christmas I made the decision to leave. It was an emotional couple weeks and Christmas was horrid we went to our own families. As I am in RAF nothing is very straights forward. We live in a MQ and have a house up north.

It was agreed that the house would be sold and my OH would buy local here as he has a good job here where I can still be sent anywhere.

So in the last 2 months our house sold last week and he found and had a STC on a house his weekend. I now have the pleasure of being a 40 year old women living in a 12x12 room in the Sgt Mess until I can save enough money to buy a house of my own (think years not months).

The ponies will be fine they are not moving yards I love my yard and my friends have been truly amazing at a very difficult time. I am having the Springer and my OH is having the Bull Mastiff as I can't have both and actually will struggle with one and the ponies but will manage. I know some of you will think it is mean splitting them up but I couldn't bear to lose them both I have had Oscar for 11 years and I just can't do it I am losing everything else.

All this then Ginger went 'off' that's all I can say about it really. We had a comp in late December and he was the best he has ever been then two weeks later I'm riding and it feels wrong he feels wrong. This lasted a week and didn't get better. I thought it was just me for a while as I was upset and out of kilter and he was picking up on it. After a week I stopped riding I knew I had the physio booked in for the first week in Jan so just left him.

I explained my situation to her before she touched him and that I thought my tension had rubbed off on him. Well he nearly killed her. He was tight and sore from head to tail. She said what every had happened was to much for me to have caused in such a short time. That he had probably done something in his field in the bad weather. She did say how refreshing it was that someone blamed them self first before blaming the horse! it didn't make me feel better. Anyway she told me to get my saddles checked as well he was tight over his withers but that on its own would not have caused the issues.

So a week latter lots of exercises and lunging as told to do and saddler came out. She said what ever the Physio did it was a good job as his back was back to butter, She reflocked two of his saddles.

I have ridden three times since as didn't want to go from nothing to 7 days and he was back to gorgerous Ginger self.

So its been an emotional roller-coaster. I do appreciate what other people have far worse going on in their lives and this really is pretty minor in comparison but is has taken its toil on me all the same.

Thanks for reading and popcorn if you made it through to the end

Star the Fell

Well-Known Member
Jun 14, 2015
Sorry to read all of this. It must have been a very hard decision for you to have made and I'm sure its not one you made lightly. In a way it is very brave of you, because sometimes it is easier just to let thinks go on as they are.
So pleased that you have got Ginger sorted too.
I hope you get lots of RL support from your friends and family as well as support from you NR friends xxx


Well-Known Member
Jan 15, 2008
France, South
Hi OBC, so sorry to hear what you're going through & as always everything comes all at once :( It sounds like you have an "amicable split" & if so that makes things a little easier.......although not always so. You seem to have thought everything through and have carefully considered all of your animals as well as your OH even though it leaves you bearing the brunt of it all at the moment. I hope things take a turn for the better for you very soon.
PS: don't forget to take care of yourself too, xx


Well-Known Member
Apr 24, 2011
Awk I am really sorry to hear you have been going through such an emotional time. Hopefully everything will sort its self out for the best as these things usually do, it just takes time as it will be a big adjustment for you. It is good to hear Ginger is back to himself which means you have one less thing to worry about. xxx


Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2004
On an island
Oh what a huge life changing thing, your world is indeed turning upside down. Well, lots of positive onwards and upwards vibes to you. Your lovely animals will be there for you througout and if you're anything like me, they help you stay sane !!! Hope you find accommodation that works for you as well, it must be challenging after having a house to down size. Anyway, you know where we all are if you want share or get opinions.
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Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2004
Suffolk, UK
Its such a hard time, even if you are the one who made the decision :( Glad Ginger is back on form now, do you think it was a field gallivanting injury?

KP nut

I'd rather be riding.
Dec 22, 2008
So sorry OBC. What an emotional roller coaster. Glad at least Ginger is back to his awesome self. x


Well-Known Member
Feb 8, 2012
That sounds like so much to be going through, but in the long run I'm sure that you will come out the other side much happier. I hope the tough times don't last too long. I'm glad that Ginger is on the mend at least.

Flipo's Mum

Heavy owner of a Heavy
Aug 17, 2009
Perthshire, Scotland
Brave decision to leave, one many wouldn't make and remain unhappily married. Good for you! Glad Ginger is on the mend, and you will be as well. Just need to find the good things to look forward to in your new life. (And I'm approaching 40 living in practically a 12x12 cupboard of a flat and I do just fine!) you are not alone!!!

Nov 10, 2014
Very brace decision you will get back on your feet and continue to enjoy life just perhaps that littl bit more.

Leaving a long term relationship is not easy not taken lightly. Hugs for you x
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Jane&Sid these days!
Apr 30, 2010
Surrey Hills
Well done for taking charge of your life ObC. I left my husband of 18 years when I was 37, having never been on my own before, so I can completely relate to your situation. I lived with my parents for 6 months! But it all worked out in the end.

Sorry to hear about Ginger and I laughed when you said you were blaming yourself because I knew you would, and I knew he would have hurt himself hoolying. I am glad your professionals got him back in shape and that he's going better for you now.

Chin up, good luck. 2107 is the first year of your new life. It'll be good!


May 7, 2002
right here, right now
So sorry OBC. Sounds like you've been on a real emotional rollercoaster. Hopefully your new start will bring you hope and happiness. Can't be easy. Big hugs, chev xx


Well-Known Member
Apr 23, 2009
Sorry to read that you've been going through such a tough time. Been there myself and I wouldn't like to go back. Sounds like the worst is over now though and you can take control of your life again. All the best for the future :)


Well-Known Member
Jun 4, 2014
Good luck for your new future!

They always say the first step is the hardest, so hopefully things get a little easier for you from here. Xx


Gracie's mum
Jul 31, 2005
Brave decision. I did similar in my 30's and walked from my 1st husband. No animals involved back then but my 3 children were aged between 6 and 11 so leaving them was tough. Thinkin of you x


Toffee - Spotted Hotshot
Feb 27, 2015
North East, UK
Really sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. I think you're very brave. It's a super hard thing to split from someone but especially when you have been together a while and share things. It all gets a bit complicated and stuff. *Hugs*

Stay positive and look to the future. :) xx


Happy Appy
Jul 16, 2012
So sorry you are going through such a difficult time and having to deal with all these changes. Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes for the future. Look forward and keep going day by day and enjoy the new life you will make for yourself. You're a strong, intelligent, determined and lovely person!

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