Nervous Nellie Thread

[Trewsers]

I
I feel i would be happier riding in full body armour

Hehehe, you and me both! I wish some company would come up with an ultra safe all in one suit that protected all the vulnerable parts..... Then I could stop worrying so much!!! As it is, I make do with hat and bp......

 

[Trewsers]

Just wanted to add: I've really enjoyed reading this thread - it has made me feel so much better knowing that you are all nervous about certain aspects of your riding! I have so many phobias - I sometimes wonder why I bother!!! (But of course, when I see those huge chocolate and blue eyes peeking over the stable door I know why!!!) Sometimes I feel such a wuss, OH is very confident with his ned, and tries his best to encourage me, but sometimes I think he really thinks I bring a lot of it on myself (I probably do thats the trouble!!!).

 

[hormonalmare]

We should all give ourselves HUGE pats on the back for keeping going. It's really very, very brave of us to feel the fear and to keep doing it anyway.

We are superstars.

 

[nat17]

Well I am really pleased to see so many people doing well, I am very jealous, what with the bad weather we have had and a OH who is harvesting I still have not gone out!

But tomorrow, before the grand prix, I am going out, confidence or no confidence! If I fall off then I fall off!

If they get done in good time tonight then I will be out, lucky for me the field closest to the farm are staying in stubble till March.... lets hope it does not take that long for me to have a good old canter across them

RRA - you have done really well, and I will hope that I can follow in your footsteps and have a postive sunday!

 

[Bodshi]

Hehehe, you and me both! I wish some company would come up with an ultra safe all in one suit that protected all the vulnerable parts..... Then I could stop worrying so much!!! As it is, I make do with hat and bp......

There was something in the media a few months ago about a suit for motorcyclists that inflates in an accident - a bit like a body airbag. Perhaps that's what we need!! Maybe a full motorcycle helmet too - we could all go out looking like the Stig, although I don't think the outfit would be quite so flattering on me ...

 

[RRA]

RRA - loved reading your post! Shame you'd only got the one iced bun....hehehehehe, sounds like you deserved it! Well done to you. Joggers / walkers always seem to pop out at the most inopportune moments don't they?!!!! Thing is, if I come across them, its me that tenses up - not myhorse, and I have a devil of a job trying to relax. I have got to the stage now tho, where I will still keep up with the singing, despite having an audience.....!!

Ahh thank you - yes the bun was great, worth the stress!!. The thought of 'one day' being able to hack out all alone without the nerves makes it worth getting back on again and keeping at it - although if I treat myself to a bun each time I'll be HUGE. I told my OH about your singing, he wondered if when you are all confident with hacking and don't need to do that anymore will you need to get Storm an i-Pod so she thinks things are still normal Good luck with getting round all your land eventually, sounds great if you've got plenty of off road hacking - I'm just going to add a bit more to my loop each time and see how it goes over the next few weeks - next step will be taking her on the roads again

 

[RRA]

sadly i could cope with oliver so much better if i actually believed that he was scared - he waited until i was changing the lunge line clip over - knew my attention was slightly off him & took the opportunity to bolt back towards his own field - with my crumbling confidence it doesnt take much to give me a "reason/excuse" not to ride him

So he really was just being a bit of a b*gger to you!! How long have you had him, is he a youngster? It took me ages to get some respect from my horse, didn't realise quite how scheming and mean they can be to the hand that feeds! I'm sure it will improve though but no doubt its very frustrating and just dents your confidence around him....horses eh?!

 

[Edwy]

Ah - I have found my people! I am a total Nervous Nellie and it is sooooo nice to find the rest of you! I would be very interested in what does work for you, all, and what does not! I have found that trying not to compare myself to others, but at the same time not giving myself too much chance to make excuses is good. I loved the idea about goals - but they need to be realistic - for me it is better to have small, doable goals than lofty "I wish I could do that" goals. Maybe running them by each other will help us to be realistic in our goals. I have found that women, especially, seem to need to share their problems and sorrows with others. Somehow, getting it out in the open helps us to see the issue more clearly and knowing that others have some of the same issues helps us to keep on trying!
So! My goal for this week is to go to the barn and tack up by myself and get on by myself, things I have just begun to do without wanting to hyperventilate and/or throw up... and then to ride by myself and to do this at least twice, maybe three times this week. That would be good, for me. I want to get so I can go out and ride on weekdays and then on weekends! I know I can do that. I just need to keep pegging away at that. Friday I tacked up my friend's somewhat rambunction and mostly goofy five year old Oldenburg gelding with all the dressage tack that I'm not real used to and we did great. I got him ready and then I took care of him afterwards. This is the 17.1 hand chestnut - he's a real sweetie, but he can be silly with the drop of a hat. I was VERY proud of myself.
So, what works for you? What can I do? What should I add?

 

[Nicnac]

Big Grin

Ah - I have found my people! I am a total Nervous Nellie and it is sooooo nice to find the rest of you! I would be very interested in what does work for you, all, and what does not! I have found that trying not to compare myself to others, but at the same time not giving myself too much chance to make excuses is good. I loved the idea about goals - but they need to be realistic - for me it is better to have small, doable goals than lofty "I wish I could do that" goals. Maybe running them by each other will help us to be realistic in our goals. I have found that women, especially, seem to need to share their problems and sorrows with others. Somehow, getting it out in the open helps us to see the issue more clearly and knowing that others have some of the same issues helps us to keep on trying!
So! My goal for this week is to go to the barn and tack up by myself and get on by myself, things I have just begun to do without wanting to hyperventilate and/or throw up... and then to ride by myself and to do this at least twice, maybe three times this week. That would be good, for me. I want to get so I can go out and ride on weekdays and then on weekends! I know I can do that. I just need to keep pegging away at that. Friday I tacked up my friend's somewhat rambunction and mostly goofy five year old Oldenburg gelding with all the dressage tack that I'm not real used to and we did great. I got him ready and then I took care of him afterwards. This is the 17.1 hand chestnut - he's a real sweetie, but he can be silly with the drop of a hat. I was VERY proud of myself.
So, what works for you? What can I do? What should I add?

Yay, sounds like you are making some good progress Edwy! I don't know what works for me, since having Tia I've decided that if I dont do it noone else will, but I still get butterflies constantly!

RRA, fantastic! Well done! You should feel very proud of yourself!

Nat17, did you go out today?

Well, I just wanted to add that I am sitting here with a bit of a grin on my face, I took Tia for a group lesson today and...we had our first canter on both reins, she did some trotting poles and had her first mini jump!!! OMG she was an angel, considering I think thats the first time ever she's been in a group lesson and doesnt know the horses, she was sooo well-behaved! I was worried she would fidget as I think she has a bit of a low boredom threshold, (plus she didnt even want to come in from the field!) but no, she did what was asked every time. We did lots of sitting trot without stirrups too, and I was very concerned that I would bounce right out of the saddle, but no it was fine once I relaxed! The canter was very unbalanced, lol, but we still did a few strides, and its something to work on. Luckily I didnt have time to think about whether or not to canter, my RI just said, 'Right, come on then!' Perhaps thats what works for me, not having time to think about what might happen!

Good luck to everyone else for tomorrow x

 

[RRA]

Well, I just wanted to add that I am sitting here with a bit of a grin on my face, I took Tia for a group lesson today and...we had our first canter on both reins, she did some trotting poles and had her first mini jump!!! OMG she was an angel, considering I think thats the first time ever she's been in a group lesson and doesnt know the horses, she was sooo well-behaved! I was worried she would fidget as I think she has a bit of a low boredom threshold, (plus she didnt even want to come in from the field!) but no, she did what was asked every time. We did lots of sitting trot without stirrups too, and I was very concerned that I would bounce right out of the saddle, but no it was fine once I relaxed! The canter was very unbalanced, lol, but we still did a few strides, and its something to work on. Luckily I didnt have time to think about whether or not to canter, my RI just said, 'Right, come on then!' Perhaps thats what works for me, not having time to think about what might happen!

Fantastic - I think having a RI is such a help as you have someone there to not only help you with the things you have 'issues' with but its great when they also say well done for your achievements. They also spot the changes in your riding, I like it when mine says 'your riding very positive today' when I might have felt a bit wobbly at the beginning - gives you such a boost. Well done on the canter & the jumping its a whole new ball game on your own horse especially if you have always been used to riding horses who know what to do - it makes you realise that you have to be good and do it all properly otherwise your horse just says...its just not going to happen - well that's what Thea says!

 

[Mr Ed]

Enjoyed the thread. When you read through it, it's very clear that everyone is making progress in one way or another....

I find my fortnightly lessons to be a real confidence boost. What's brilliant is always come away definitely feeling that there's been a slight improvement one way or another. As an added bonus my RI always makes me feel like Ed and I are a very suitable match

Think I've had about 8 x 1 hr lessons on Edward so far, if we can manage with the unpredictable weather I'm going to try and continue with lessons right through the winter.

The other confidence boost is riding out with my 'experienced' friend. She's a very practical type and her philosophy is very much 'just get on and do it!', without making you feel pressured or insecure. We dont do the 'nervous' chat, we just get on and ride in a sensible and practical way - sometimes I feel this stops me from 'dwelling'.

Hope you all having fantatistic BH rides

 

[thingstodotoday]

I need some support.

Today I am getting back on my horse for the first time since she bucked me off twice last week. my RI rode her yesterday and she is fine, but I am honestly so nervous and worried I feel sick.

I've never been that confident, and have had lots of ups and downs with her, but this last time really finished me off, to the point that I have been thinking about part ex'ing her for a really safe horse, and paying as much as I have to to get that.

Thing is. I feel like I actually don't really want to get back on. I really feel like I've bitten off more than I can cope with, even though things were going fine. I'm supposed to be riding for fun and cos I love it, not being so nervous I feel sick every time I ride.

Don't know what to do.

 

[RRA]

I need some support.

Today I am getting back on my horse for the first time since she bucked me off twice last week. my RI rode her yesterday and she is fine, but I am honestly so nervous and worried I feel sick.

I've never been that confident, and have had lots of ups and downs with her, but this last time really finished me off, to the point that I have been thinking about part ex'ing her for a really safe horse, and paying as much as I have to to get that.

Thing is. I feel like I actually don't really want to get back on. I really feel like I've bitten off more than I can cope with, even though things were going fine. I'm supposed to be riding for fun and cos I love it, not being so nervous I feel sick every time I ride.

Don't know what to do.

Hi thingstodotoday, how long have you had your horse and how old is she? If you don't feel ready to get back on just yet then don't force yourself. Spend time on the ground with her instead, can you do lunging or long reining just so you can start enjoying being around her again and she starts listening to you?
You can always always lunge her in full tack and at the end of the session just get on for a walk round if you want to, increasing the amount of time you stay on each time. Have you got someone you can take with you for support too?
What does your RI think about you and your horse - if it wasn't for the recent falls knocking your confidence could you be a good match? Is it worth going back to basics and giving it another go?
Best of luck, I do understand how you feel - let us know how it goes.

 

[JOJOBA]

Im a nervous (but not novice, it's important to say!) rider who bought a young horse to the disgust and dismay of many on Newrider.

He is a very difficult pony who was very green when I bought him but a great hacking horse. He has taken me from someone who would be in a cold sweat at the thought of hacking, to someone who organises the hacks .

He is full of beans and usually jogs his way around the hacks, and whilst I still sometimes have a wobble, I have a new rule that if someone asks me something (do you want to trot, canter, jump that log, cross this river etc) I am not allowed to say no.

These are from yesterday:

xxx

 

[nat17]

Ah Nicnac, your really getting somewhere, really pleased.... I have not been YET.. its rained her all day and I didnt rug Sam nor have a stable to dry out, but hopefully it will stop raining and we will go for a walk later on... but it is suposed to be good weather tomorrow so if not then tomorrow....

Poppy1, its just what you need, a friend thats a 'get on with it type', stops you from talking yourself out of it.

Thingstodotoday, could you start by having a little lesosn on the lunge, just doing transitions from walk to trot etc..just to get back on and the feeling back again? If you do feel after giving it another shot that you have over horsed yourself then do it, we pay alot of money for our hobbie and you need to enjoy it...

Jojoba, you have come along way with Bob, and can inspire us all that there is light at the end of the tunnel..

 

[thingstodotoday]

Hi thingstodotoday, how long have you had your horse and how old is she? If you don't feel ready to get back on just yet then don't force yourself. Spend time on the ground with her instead, can you do lunging or long reining just so you can start enjoying being around her again and she starts listening to you?
You can always always lunge her in full tack and at the end of the session just get on for a walk round if you want to, increasing the amount of time you stay on each time. Have you got someone you can take with you for support too?
What does your RI think about you and your horse - if it wasn't for the recent falls knocking your confidence could you be a good match? Is it worth going back to basics and giving it another go?
Best of luck, I do understand how you feel - let us know how it goes.

Hi

Well, it's a long story!

Fern is 8yo, and is great out hacking, but very green in the school. Her previous home was a hacking home!

I've had her for 6 months and we have had many ups and downs. I have low confidence, and manage to get it up and then something happens that knocks it all right back again.

We've moved yards 3 times in the 6 months (circumstances, not us!) and are now settled.

Our ups include jumping 3 foot, and downs include her jumping out of the school 3 times, and napping to the gate at top speed! I've fallen off her 6 times,

5 weeks ago, having only been at this new yard 2 weeks, she injured her tendon. She was on box rest for 4 weeks and changed completely. She is a typical green strong willed mare, but her ground manners are normally impeccable, but even this went with the box rest.

Anyway, last week she was able to be ridden again, in walk only. She bucked me off twice and I reached an all time low.

Tonight I got on her. I was terrified. Shaking and feeling sick. So worried she would just take off again.

 

[Edwy]

You should ALL be proud! Well done! Sometimes it is hard to find the balance between when should I forge ahead and when should I just do something a little easier. All we can do is go with our gut and be PROUD that we are doing something!I love the saying about "Do a LOT of what you can do and a LITTLE of what is really, really hard for you!" I try to remember that. Hope it helps....

I want to canter this month. I can do it. I WILL canter this month.

 

[Nicnac]

Hello

Good to hear about everyone's progress and positive outcomes to stories too. Thingstodotoday, sorry to hear about your experience. It seems so difficult when its your horse because you're the one that has to ride her. I can't really offer that much advice as I really wouldn't know, but I echo everyone else's comments on lunging etc...do you think there is any reason for the bucking? Im presuming you've had her checked over and her saddle fits properly etc. I know I'd be the same as you if it happened to me. But also, it does sound like you have had a couple of major positives, so don't forget those. Is it just in the school that she behaves like this?

Really hope you're able to take things forward, but I guess, whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up about it. It sounds like you're trying your hardest.

RRA thanks for your comments. Yes, its great when people say that you've done well at something, I had another lesson yesterday with a very experienced RI who I've never had before, it was an hour of very intense stuff, a lot about my position, and also lots of cantering (I'm still nervous on this as Tia is very unbalanced), as my other RI said, its like going from novice to intermediat - totally different to riding RS ponies! Tia was very well-behaved though and really did try everything I asked her.

Having said all that, she ran away from me today when I went to catch her, she's never done that before, and I was in tears, it took me 15 mins to get her. She did come to call in her old home - but to be honest, she spent most her time in her field. I don't get it, she normally likes attention, but today, well initially, I could have been the most evil person known to man! Then we had her feet issue again, she is so funny about having her right foreleg picked up. But, we went out on the road (in company) and she was as good as gold, ignored all the heavy traffic, and we even had a trot back up the bridleway so we did finish on a positive, but the catching thing just got me down a bit.

 

[Nicnac]

Edwy, I can't wait to hear if you canter, but if you don't, well there's always next month

 

[Completenovice]

Anyone can join ladies

Complete novice you are not a failure, just aware you dont bounce anymore and have natural fears. You need to join us and make some goals, its great that your OH will walk with you on the lead rein, its just what you need, how about making that your first goal?


We did it! oh so pleased I honestly did not think I would but we went out on Sunday and on Monday for an hourish, walk and small trott (few strides of canter)! This was however thanks to my OH who took charge of the situation and didn't bully me about it but let me tell him when I was ready. He came with me and put me on and off the lead rope even though I insisted he kept it on most of the time. Oh i was sweating though, panicking, as we walked down the concrete lane (hate that! have real issues with it) through the next farm with the 3 barking dogs, chickens, other horses etc, through the gate onto the side of the river, had a trott, (other half running along side), and yesterday did the same, even though I was even more nervous for some reason, and even had a short canter (OH is learning to run fast now. I am learning that my pony has a look at most things, doesnt like mud! but seems generally sound and its just me who builds it all up and sees the danger everywhere. I know I am not 'cured' of my fears but, a few more of these and my next goal is to go out for a short hack following my OH on his horse. The best part about going out for a ride though, is the relief at coming back okay.

Thanks nat17 for setting the goal, it gave me something to focus on