Nervous Nellie Thread

Another nervous nellie checking in. Have been riding since the beginning of the year, and bought my own big boy three weeks ago. Still very nervous of him on the ground, so have a session this Friday with a woman from the Monty Roberts school of thought to try to help me learn to communicate with him and get over my fears. I'm not as nervous when I'm on him, but still pretty bad. Managed to hack out for the first time yesterday, and he was calm as you like. Cantering in the school is my real bug bear though, so will have to see how we do with that when the time comes (have just moved schools and gone back to complete basics with our new instructor).
 
Went up today but just as i arrived it absolutely chucked it down and started thundering lol so decided against riding, went up to check him in the field and he was fine came to say hello and have a scratch :) Am a bit peed off as the sun is shining now though :mad:
 
Completenovice said:
:D We did it! oh so pleased I honestly did not think I would but we went out on Sunday and on Monday for an hourish, walk and small trott (few strides of canter)! This was however thanks to my OH who took charge of the situation and didn't bully me about it but let me tell him when I was ready. He came with me and put me on and off the lead rope even though I insisted he kept it on most of the time. Oh i was sweating though, panicking, as we walked down the concrete lane (hate that! have real issues with it) through the next farm with the 3 barking dogs, chickens, other horses etc, through the gate onto the side of the river, had a trott, (other half running along side), and yesterday did the same, even though I was even more nervous for some reason, and even had a short canter (OH is learning to run fast now:). I am learning that my pony has a look at most things, doesnt like mud! but seems generally sound and its just me who builds it all up and sees the danger everywhere. I know I am not 'cured' of my fears but, a few more of these and my next goal is to go out for a short hack following my OH on his horse. The best part about going out for a ride though, is the relief at coming back okay.

Thanks nat17 for setting the goal, it gave me something to focus on:)
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I am so pleased for you, you have done great, not even a small step first it was a huge one, so your not as scared as you think:)

Keep up the good work and it will get easier and you can achieve your dream of hacking out with your lovely OH, again , well done for letting him help and for doing so well... keep letting us know of your progress:)
 
Rach1980 said:
Went up today but just as i arrived it absolutely chucked it down and started thundering lol so decided against riding, went up to check him in the field and he was fine came to say hello and have a scratch :) Am a bit peed off as the sun is shining now though :mad:
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I am in the same situation, chucking it down and blowing a gail! It will clear and we will be ready to ponce on the ponios!;)

B.O.B, you are doing the right thing in getting help, especially on the ground, let us know how you are doing wont you:)


Nic nac, dont let the field thing get you down, I took the tack to the field the other week and sam ran off bucking and farting:rolleyes: took some catching, but he was ok and was just testing me, still sometimes runs off but soon comes back, at least she was good out riding, sure she wont be so naughty again...:D
 
thingstodotoday said:
Hi

Well, it's a long story!

Fern is 8yo, and is great out hacking, but very green in the school. Her previous home was a hacking home!

I've had her for 6 months and we have had many ups and downs. I have low confidence, and manage to get it up and then something happens that knocks it all right back again.

We've moved yards 3 times in the 6 months (circumstances, not us!) and are now settled.

Our ups include jumping 3 foot, and downs include her jumping out of the school 3 times, and napping to the gate at top speed! I've fallen off her 6 times,

5 weeks ago, having only been at this new yard 2 weeks, she injured her tendon. She was on box rest for 4 weeks and changed completely. She is a typical green strong willed mare, but her ground manners are normally impeccable, but even this went with the box rest.

Anyway, last week she was able to be ridden again, in walk only. She bucked me off twice and I reached an all time low.

Tonight I got on her. I was terrified. Shaking and feeling sick. So worried she would just take off again.
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Sounds like you've had a difficult first 6 months just with the 3 moves which is unsettling for both of you. Well done for getting on again after the recent bucking incident, at least you did that's already a step in the right direction. How was she? In my very limited time of being a 1st time horse owner (mines just 6!) whenever I've had a knock back Iliterally go back to basics, groundwork. lunging etc until I want to get back in the saddle again and just increase each time what I do. I have resigned myself to the fact that with an inexperienced horse there will be steps forwards and back for some time but I love my horse and I love riding and in the back of my mind is always that 'with time and patience she will eventually be my ideal horse' but it will be at my pace with the help of an instructor and not feeling intimidated by those with more experience or at least more experienced horses.
I hope things improve for you - what does your RI think of your 'potential' partnership despite the shakey start? Can you not just concentrate on the 'ups' for the time being and then address the 'issues' as and when you feel more confident to do so?
 
Can I join in? :)

I've just started riding my horse again after a two month break after he chucked me off in a moment of high spirited spring grass fuelled silliness after being on field rest for two months.
We're working in the sand school at the moment, working towards hacking out again. Its going okay considering how green I am.
I am feeling very stiff today. :o
 
Hi Hepsbah

Firstly well done for getting back on;) Take small steps and stay in your comfort zone to start with, and dont be too hard on your self for being nervous:)

Keep us updated on your progress or problems:)
 
nat17 said:
Hi Hepsbah

Firstly well done for getting back on;) Take small steps and stay in your comfort zone to start with, and dont be too hard on your self for being nervous:)

Keep us updated on your progress or problems:)
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Hello & welcome Hepsbah and I agree with what nat17 said!!:p
 
RRA said:
Sounds like you've had a difficult first 6 months just with the 3 moves which is unsettling for both of you. Well done for getting on again after the recent bucking incident, at least you did that's already a step in the right direction. How was she? In my very limited time of being a 1st time horse owner (mines just 6!) whenever I've had a knock back Iliterally go back to basics, groundwork. lunging etc until I want to get back in the saddle again and just increase each time what I do. I have resigned myself to the fact that with an inexperienced horse there will be steps forwards and back for some time but I love my horse and I love riding and in the back of my mind is always that 'with time and patience she will eventually be my ideal horse' but it will be at my pace with the help of an instructor and not feeling intimidated by those with more experience or at least more experienced horses.
I hope things improve for you - what does your RI think of your 'potential' partnership despite the shakey start? Can you not just concentrate on the 'ups' for the time being and then address the 'issues' as and when you feel more confident to do so?
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Hi!

Well, I've got on her twice now since she had me off and she was fine both times, in fact last time I walked her around on the buckle, and it felt great. I guess I just have to learn to trust her again.

My RI thinks that I should stick with her, she's just being a horse. And that any horse that has come off box rest and is in a new yard will react unpredictably.

I have decided to give things a while longer. And have come to a number of conclusions:
1) that even if I did sell her and get antoher, there is no guarantee with horses, and anythign can happen
2) that I am now riding 5 days a week, and I only used to ride one day a week, so I should expect to fall off more!
3) that I am being unfair on her - I've had her 6 months, and have mounted her countless times, and she's only moved off when I've mounted her twice in this time.

So yesterday I was on my own at the yard, and tacked her up and we went and worked on her standing at the mounting block. I got on her after about 10 mins of working on standing, walked her forwards and then got back off, but I did it. THe thing I have to fix now is her walking off as soon as I'm on and not waiting for me to ask, but I'm so tense I think that might be why.
 
thingstodotoday said:
Hi!

Well, I've got on her twice now since she had me off and she was fine both times, in fact last time I walked her around on the buckle, and it felt great. I guess I just have to learn to trust her again.

My RI thinks that I should stick with her, she's just being a horse. And that any horse that has come off box rest and is in a new yard will react unpredictably.

I have decided to give things a while longer. And have come to a number of conclusions:
1) that even if I did sell her and get antoher, there is no guarantee with horses, and anythign can happen
2) that I am now riding 5 days a week, and I only used to ride one day a week, so I should expect to fall off more!
3) that I am being unfair on her - I've had her 6 months, and have mounted her countless times, and she's only moved off when I've mounted her twice in this time.

So yesterday I was on my own at the yard, and tacked her up and we went and worked on her standing at the mounting block. I got on her after about 10 mins of working on standing, walked her forwards and then got back off, but I did it. THe thing I have to fix now is her walking off as soon as I'm on and not waiting for me to ask, but I'm so tense I think that might be why.
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Sounds like you have a plan which is great, I have fleeting moments of 'to sell or not to sell!' I was lunging tonight and Thea was refusing to jump -put in a couple of almost full up rears with me at the end of the line, a year a go I would have been terrifed, now it just makes me more determined to stop her having her own way and it doesn't bother me at all (can't say I'd feel the sae if I was riding though:eek:).

I need to work on the walking off when mounted too. Its good that your RI thinks you should keep your horse as she obviously realises your capabilities so best of luck, 6 months is still very early on -I'm just really only getting mine out hacking on her own after a year and that's only around the farm - roads I'm happy to steer clear of for the time being!! :)

keep us posted on how its going.
 
I am so mad with myself after yesterday, i have had my part loan since end of May this year, up until 2 weeks ago everything has been fine, i don't know what changed but something has as he no longer wants to come in when i go to fetch him. The 1st time he took 2 steps and just planted himself and i couldn't get him to go forwards or back so ended up sending him away when i took lead rope off, same happened the next time but he started throwing his head up trying to yank rope away from me, i growled at him and he does stop but still won't move,i left him and went to poo pick field and he came to see what i was doing then it started to rain quite heavily and he wanted to come in but i didn't take him as i thought well you wouldn't come when i wanted you to. I have managed to get him in a few times inbetween but not many, then yesterday he walked with me to the gate then planted again, eventually got him out of the field, then he planted himself just outside the field and started pawing at the ground when i tried to make him walk on, he kept doing this every time i asked him to walk then threw his head up high again, couldn't get him down to stables so ended up putting him back in the field, he didn't want to go there either as had more of same behaviour getting him to go back in. I feel like a failure but don't understand why after 3 months he has started doing it when he was fine before??
I don't just bring him in to ride sometimes i just groom or spend time with him.
 
My session with the woman from Intelligent Horsemanship went incredibly well! Mostly it was about getting him to stand still and trust me, backing him up a couple of steps when he did something I didn't ask for. I was nearly in tears at one point it was so fantastic. Going to work on what she showed me and have another session in a month or so.
 
I trotted on my horse today for the first time since he chucked me off (he did it when I asked for trot). I did lots of walk/stand/walk transitions first and it went fine. I was a bit all over the place for the first few strides but I put that down to nerves. :o
I'll be back there tomorrow (weather permitting) and will do more trotting than I did today and ask for some trot/walk/trot transitions to get him listening to me again.

I wonder when I'll get the nerve to go hacking...:eek:
 
I am in a bad place at the moment, really doing my own head in, I dont know what is holding me back so much, really fed up with being so bloody scared all the time.:mad:
 
Hi Nat17, it's just a very brief bad phase. We all have them. This thread has been excellent to read and very supporting to all - you've provided excellent support.

I ride Ed about 4 times a week and still there is never a time on my approach to the yard when I dont have a few butterflies - never yet! When i returned from my hols a couple of weeks ago, having not ridden for 8 days, I felt quite shaky as I unloaded the tack out of my car. It takes a long time to become very relaxed.

Is there anything specific areas you need help/advice from NR, or is it purely at 'nerve' thing?

What ever happens this feeling wont last:)
 
Thanks Poppy1, I suppose if I could sort out his biting issue i would feel alot happier, I am on the trial of my third bit for him, it would give me much more confident if he was settled in his mouth...

Thanks for the support, its just what I needed, along with a kick up the arse;)
 
I actually cried.......

I went up to the field on my own today, lovely sunny morning -no wind...it has been very windy this week = scary trees & bushes!
I was going to go straight to the huge stubble field to work on our solo hacking/no napping, but just as I was ready to go a man, his dog and toddler with funny push toy thing appeared so I opted for the school until they disappeared. We did a full hour in the school today which included cantering on both reins again...wheyy AND I went over a little jump twice!! I haven't jumped for ages and although my heart was in my mouth I new I had to commit to it once I approached otherwise it would be really bad if I pulled her up at the jump. We just trotted into it and she popped it lovely I was so pleased to land the other side so I went round again still feeling iffy. She was a bit further back this time and put a bigger jump in - my heart was pounding but again I stayed on...if only I had more confidence in myself as well as Thea. Then I had a bit of a boo in th middle of the school because I am so fed up with feeling scared about the things I used to love doing:rolleyes:, I think it was just sheer frustration at myself...but at the same time I was chuffed I'd done the jump and without anyone there for moral support!!
Then I went into the field for a little wander and she was FAB...very calm (I was still a bit leg shakey from the jumping!!) I turned her home and she walked back on a loose contact :D I thought as things were going well and she definitely seemed to be trusting my aids, I'd try and get her to walk out of the yard (the road end) she went past her field gate - her fieldmate was watching AND NO NAPPING!! We got outside the main gates and then she start to feel a bit tense but so much better than before at least no planting...that was when I called it quits because I could hear the bin men approaching in their noisy and potentially scary BIG rubbish truck and I didn't want to ruin the good feeling so I dismounted and led her a bit before turning back.

So happy me and next plan is to try the main gates again even if I only get 50 yards down the road :)

Hope you other nervous nellies have had a confidence boost today with your neddies :p
 
nat17 said:
I am in a bad place at the moment, really doing my own head in, I dont know what is holding me back so much, really fed up with being so bloody scared all the time.:mad:
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Frustrating isn't it? The only way I've been getting through my nervous low point is continuing with my weekly lessons - I have a very patient and understanding RI and when I'm not in my lesson I break down all the things I want to achieve and just work on what feels right that day if I don't want to canter I work on getting good circles and walk, trot, halt transitions, trotting poles, leg yielding lots of things to keep it interesting without feeling out of my comfort zone. You will get there...keep your chin up and remember to share any ups & downs you have with the rest of us nellies!!;)
 
Hi all

Welll I've taken Tia round the farm on two walking and trotting hacks with one other, all good, and been cantering her (badly lol) in the school etc, but I got really scared when I went to catch her the other day. Normally she is fine, but twice now she has run away from me and the other day galloped off! There are three other horses in the field, all of whom then crowd round and Im so scared I'll get trampled/kicked. Tia clearly didnt want to leave her fieldmates (although the day before she did), and it wasn't a pleasant experience - I thought we were doing so well! Plus I dread doing her feet as she reacts so badly to the right one being picked up, but I know it has to be done - some days she is worse than others. I'm hoping that the new farrier will help when she has her feet done on thursday.

RRA, well done, thats similar to me I think in terms of how you're getting through, but nat17, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. It is SOOO easy to get nervous and start thinking about the what-ifs. Can you have a lesson or just someone else there to help?

Keep us posted, I'm sending you lots of positive vibes :)
 
Have replied on your other thread but I think the catching thing could be something to do with the pain/lameness thing so dont lose hope:)

I have planned for my OH to come out with me but every time work has gotten in the way, its harvest and things just have not worked out.. but hoepfully the next few days..I have rode out once this week though... to try out a new bit...which I think is worse..so off to the tack shop to get a new one... feeling much better about things..so sorry for feeling sorry for myself the other day..:o

Would love to know how everyone else is getting on? There were some real positive replies last week...
 
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